Hello Brains!
How are you feeling right now?
Can you tell?
Some of us can’t.
In fact, this is so common
there’s actually a term for it:
Alexi --
(quieter) Alexi--
(quickly) Alexithy--
Not you!
I don't need to know the weather.
I'm trying to do a video.
♫ [Intro music] ♫
Ok now might be a good time to unplug certain devices.
I’ll wait.
While I wait..
I want to talk for a minute about BetterHelp
who is sponsoring this video.
BetterHelp is an online counselling platform
that connects you with a licensed therapist
that matches your individual needs.
You can message them whenever you want through text
and, if you want, video.
I used BetterHelp a couple of years ago
and I liked being able to get therapy through text
because the asynchronous communication gave me more time to figure out how I felt
before I responded.
Which can be really helpful for those of us who
have trouble identifying our feelings
or organising our thoughts.
With BetterHelp you can start communicating with someone
within 48 hours of signing up.
It's not a crisis line. It is actual therapy.
But if you're currently in crisis and need help,
I've linked to some crisis lines in the description below.
If you want to learn more about BetterHelp,
go to betterhelp.com/adhdhowto
and complete the questionnaire so that they can
better understand where you're at, and match you
with the right therapist.
And like with any service that helps you find a therapist,
look up the therapist and make sure they're a good fit for you.
In the meantime: Devices off?
Alright. Let's talk about alexithymia.
Alexithymia, n., is the inability to identify
and describe what one is feeling
whether an emotional state or a physical state.
It’s a Greek word that loosely translates into
“having no words for emotions.”
It was first coined in the 1970s by
Dr. Peter Sifneos
to describe his patients who couldn’t find the
appropriate words to describe their emotional states.
While most people can tell what they’re feeling
if those feelings are intense enough,
people who experience alexithymia often can’t.
It’s a kind of emotional blindness.
They might be able to tell they’re feeling something,
just not exactly...what.
And they tend to have trouble identifying what others are feeling, too.
Because of this difficulty identifying and expressing feelings,
people with alexithymia can often come across as unfeeling or uncaring,
even when their internal experience is actually quite intense.
Someone with alexithymia often finds
their feelings frustrating and overwhelming,
and needs time to process and understand them.
In situations where emotional responses are expected in real time,
they often rely on external cues, memorized “scripts,”
and what they think others expect to figure out how to respond.
Alexithymia can create a lot of challenges in personal relationships,
which rely on real time genuine, emotional reciprocity.
It can also make it really challenging to practice self care.
It’s really hard to know when to feed yourself if
you can’t even tell if you’re hungry or not.
And it makes it hard to get effective care from others
if you can’t describe how you’re feeling or what your body needs.
It can also be really lonely and confusing,
both for them and the people who are trying to connect with them.
Alexithymia isn’t a separate mental health diagnosis,
but it is a characteristic that tends to go along with them.
Current research suggests around half of
autistic brains have this characteristic, compared with 10% of the general population.
And it’s also more common in those with ADHD, depression, and PTSD.
Because it’s not a diagnosis, there’s currently no specific treatment
for alexithymia,
but it is something mental health professionals
need to be aware of while treating the mental health condition
that it accompanies, since therapy typically requires talking about how we feel.
If this sounds familiar and you’d like to learn more about alexithymia,
I’ve included resources in the description below.
If not, maybe the next time someone struggles to express how they’re feeling,
give them the space to do it.
Or give them a few choices of what you suspect they might be feeling.
And don't assume that what it looks like somebody is feeling,
is actually how they feel.
Some people need more time,
or a little help processing to figure it out.
Thank you to my Brain Advocates
and all my Patreon Brains for supporting us
in increasing awareness around neurodiversity
and all of the challenges that come with it
so we can better understand ourselves
and those we care about.
Like, subscribe, click all the things and I will see you next video!
Bye brains!
♫ [Outro Music] ♫