Announcer: And your Miss Earth 3009 is...
Announcer: Victoria Young!
-You have four -Here. (take) this William
Yes -- sorry -- sorry
I won't lie. [dramatic music plays]
I'm afraid.
We all are.
We have every right to be.
The fate of our planet, of our lives, our --
[notification rings]
Very few know that Arden Young has a twin sister
And today, marks an ironic moment in history
because Arden is going to be beamed up to compete in Galactic Cyclical depopulation pageant
while her older counterpart remains sadly on Earth, with a title from an arcane competition that really doesn't mean much at all.
Kinda makes you wonder how one splinted splice of DNA cou--
[ringtone]
Well. Look who decided to grace me with a call.
[disraught] Victoria --
I am so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing
I tried to take it back but the server isn't receiving calls --
Woah. Calm down Arden.
You're gonna be fine.
You've been training your whole life for this, remember?
you basically ditched me to go and try and save the world...
I...
f-cked up Victoria.
I am so, sorry --
No.
HEY!
Watch where you're going!
[alien language] truluvuding, ha!
Uh...Hello
I need to speak to someone who is in charge?
There's been some kind of mistake
Alien: Ohhhh! I've seen you guys on holo but you are soooo much cuter in real life.
Victoria: No, no I'm not supposed to be here
[exclaimation of pain]
Biological profile is a match for Arden Young. Earth representative.
No, no. I'm not Arden.
I'm Victoria, her twin sister? That's probably why it matches? But I'm, I'm not supposed to be here.
Once aboard, there are no substitutional representatives!
It's not a substitute when there's been a mistake!
Hey, hey wait!
[whoosh]
[gasp]
Watch it, parasite.
Hey Trai, where's Zarik?
Did he not come to watch you die?
Awww, what a rude mate.
Says the Endarion who drove him into hyperspace with her slinky glarcole.
OHHH! Do you need some ectoplasmic ointment for that burn Endar?
[pink alien]: I'll enjoy killing you both in Hex or off Galactic Rein. Either. Way.
[white alien] Well since we are under their protection...
[magicy sounds emanate]
[snarled] Stay out of my head.
[gasp] Theres no light
d-d-d-DANG Trai.
The crowd therapy chamber had a cancellation, in case you need to treat those burrns.
You are supposed to be forming alliances!
Not aggravate a longstanding enemy right before the Hex!
You don't call somebody you hunt an enemy.
And I did recruit an ally. This is Earth!
The parasitic planet?
None other. Isn't she adorable! Speak Earth.
What? See!
Do you have any telekinetic, telepathic or molecular manipulation abilities?
Uh.
No?
What's the highest level Hex you've completed in training?
No.
What are your planets qualifications?
I am actually not Earth's select...My- my sister is?
I'm - I'm not supposed to be here and I was trying to tell the lady
But you were beamed.
So...what did you do?
Well.
I won Miss Earth today.
And I absolutely killed at the bikini portion.
How does one kill a bikini?
What? No, it's a swimsuit?
You know, that little piece of clothing that like covers --You know, what did you guys do!
Assemble for the Hex!
[robotic voice] Balex. Ninth star of Aden. Integrated black hole free interstellar travel.
Distar. Second moon orbiting Urka. Endured three years of solitude and survival trials
Endar. Fourth Planet of the Exodus Galaxy. Familial Genocide.
Arden Young. Third Planet around the Sun. Voted Most Likely To Succeed.
Uh!
No! Hello? Hello, no I'm not Arden!
[peppy science music begins]
[three voices speak together] The Cycle begins again.
Endarra.
Kisma.
I choose Physique!
[assorted grunts]
[background voice] -oh snaaaap!-
They just. Blew up. That planet?
Like a freakin second after she loses they just...destory her entire people?
That is the whole point.
The universe stops expanding but life does not.
It is the optimal method of maintenence.
Trai.
Psychis.
Earth.
...Thats you Earth.
I don't know how to fight.
It is Psychic combat.
Thank you, thats very reassuring.
Does Earth forfeit?
What? No no no, I-I - We're not going to forfeit but um
We can appeal to beam your sister into the hex!
Pardon me, but theres been an error in submission! Earth's representative is --
Not Psychic. I am totally not Psychic.
Earth forfeits.
What! No, I didn't say I would - I wouldn't fight, just saying that you -- uh please --just.
Give me a minute to prepare.
What are you doing.
[quietly] I can't win, I mean, even with all of her training, Arden and I are kind of on the same playing field with this one.
Which is. Dead.
I really want the blood of her entire planet on my hands.
I'm more than happy to take Earth's place and kill Trai.
[deep breath]
It will be my honor to rid the universe of you.
Just imagine that moment not long after your death when Galactic destroys your planet
and screams of agony from every baby Tricorn, every single living form you've ever known or loved shatters that little Psychis network of yours.
An entire species ending in an endless scream.
Woah
[magic scifi whooshing starts]
[notification rings]
[gasping breaths]
It was a pleasure knowing you, Earth.
What?
When she dies, both of your planets will be destroyed.
f-ck
[sizzling noise], [screams of agony]
Silence!
That interruption calls for direct planetary disqualification!
No!
[coughing]
Excuse me? Uh, technically, parasitic interference has no written regulations regarding combat disturbance.
They were considered so inferior, new rules were actually bothered with.
Therefore, Earth's actions are not cause for disqualification.
Yeeeaaah.
We will take a moment.
Would you like some ectoplasmic ointment for those burns?
Earth. You will now be given the attention of the council
State your case.
Why should your planet be spared?
uh. Well...
Wait!
I am Arden Young. Rightful representative of Earth.
Galactic Council, I implore you. [dramatic music starts]
To please spare planet Earth.
For even though we are the youngest contestants in this pageant,
We have made tremendous contributions.
In the fields of interstellar travel, communication, star-galac technology and not to men--
Denied.
Earth shall be destroyed.
Wait! Wait, wait. Uh...
Uh that girl. Or maybe one of those girls, uh said that once aboard there are no representative subsitutions.
So by your rules, I am Earth's Select.
I believe she's right
Fine. Make your plea.
...Sorry Vic.
Well, we.
Okay so.
Earth.
huma -- Don't kill us, first of all. Please don't kill us, spare us, because --
On with it.
You know what?
Who the hell are you three, to judge us anyway.
I mean, do you really not see how -- how archaic this system is?
To judge an entire planet based on one unqualified person's speech?
I mean what the hell do you three do anyway -- why should you be spared every cycle?
You know, all you do is contribute death and destruction to the universe.
s-sirs.
Of the trillions of cycles that this depopulation pageant has existed,
no one has dared question our authority.
Your insolence warrants death.
However.
Curiousity, in lieu of blind acceptance, is the true mark of wisdom
Earth shall be spared.
For now.
What about Endar?
I clearly won.
It shall be voided.
You have no idea what you've done.
[magic psychic noise]
Not gonna lie, totally thought you were done for.
I too came to the same conclusion.
See you at the next round! What side on Earth rotations? One?
What?
You did it. I can't believe it but you did it!
Hey.
About submitting your name...
Oh, I might have saved the world, but you're dead.