- Jurassic Parks and Rec. Shut up!
- Yes! Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes
- Sweet! How's it going?
- Good, man *chuckles*
- Shake his hand and keep shaking his hand.
- Hey man. It's good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Just keeep shaking his hand. (Chris: Nice to meet you, buddy)
- Chris? - Chris. Right.
- Pratt? - Chris Pratt.
- Pratt. Pratt.
- Oh, sorry...
- May I have one of these, Ian?
- Yeah, sure.
- Start drinking it like your tongue's the straw.
- Can you – can you drink it like your, like your tongue's the straw?
Like –
*makes slurping noises*
- Can you do that? - Nope.
- No?
- Do more. Do more till it spills on yourself.
- It looks cool.
*more loud slurping*
*coughs*
- It doesn't work well.
- That – *clears throat*
- Ask him if he can recreate Jeff Goldblum's laugh from the movie
- I want you to recreate Jeff Goldblum's laugh
*listens to video of Jeff Goldblum laughing*
- Oh...ha ha ha... *attempts to recreate laugh*
- Are you able to recreate that?
- Oh..ha ha ha ha ha ha *keeps attemping to recreate laugh*
-Ask him if he realizes that his name sounds like "Crisp Rat"
- Did you know that your name kinda sounds like "Crisp Rat"?
- Oh I heard that before, yeah.
- You've heard that before!? - Yeah, it's crazy, right.
- No, I thought I was clever!
- No, you are clever! You are – everyone who's said that to me I thought was clever.
- Do you – do you like give like a fake laugh like so they feel good about themselves?
- What do you usually do when they say that?
Do you just like stare at them or –
- Start saving the water by watering the trees.
- Um..you know.
Gotta get some to the plants, you know.
- That is not a real plant.
- Water his tree, water his tree.
- Yeah I'll give some to your tree. - Oh thanks..
- You know, pour one out for the homies, you know. - Yeah..you know sixty five gazillion years ago
- They've been dead a while –
But like that doesn't mean we shouldn't you know honor them with like awesome movies and stuff.
- Awesome movies..that's true.
- Ask him for a really personal favor.
- Could you do me a really personal favor?
- Oh ha hah God..
- Just gonna your mom - – and tell her that I have herpes
- She doesn't need to know that
- Uhhhhh..she, she does
- That is really, that really says "Mom".
*voicemail greeting*
- Oh, okay, so it's her voicemail.
- Hi. Sharon. Uh this is Chris Pratt calling – how you doing?
Hey listen, I'm with your son, Ian, and – he's contracted a venereal disease
- And I, I might have, I might have kissed her so she should probably
- Anyway he's, he thinks that maybe he could have kissed you
uh and he wants to make sure that if you're showing any symptoms that you'll know uh what that's from
Um although I don't know
I don't know uh why kissing you would transmit to you genital herpes, but okay –
Anyways this like I said is Dr. Chris Pratt, call your son back and –
We'll talk then bye-bye. Thank you. You're welcome
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
That was, that was really fun to do –
- Uh I feel like a heavy herpes weight has been lifted off of my shoulders
- And right onto your mom.
- Tell him a story about one time when your nipples produced milk.
- So there was this one time that I was um –
long story short, my nipples produced milk.
- That is definitely long story short.
- Tell him you drank it.
- I'm curious to hear the long story on that –
- And, and I –I don't know if like if you would have done the same –
But I–I drank some. I–I had to just just you know.
I had to know. Is that weird?
Like if your nipples produce milk would you – would you try your own nipple milk?
- I'd smell it.
- Say "you got in great shape for this role."
- Maybe we should seek like my workout routine?
- Alright.
- This first one's called – - – the "Butt Buster"
Every morning. I like get up and I look in the mirror and I go like –
- You need some help buddy, you got to keep it going.
Tighten it, tighten it and hold it. That's good.
- This kind of hurts. - I know, let it out.
Yeah tighten and hold it –
5...
4...
3...
2...1
*claps* Butt busted.
- Take a selfie with him and tell him you're gonna put it on your Tinder.
- Could we take a selfie so I can put it on my Tinder?
- On your..? - Cause I feel like – on my Tinder?
- On your "Tender"?
- Yeah. You don't know about "Tinder"?
- Oh, Tinder! - Yeah!
- I thought you said "Tender".
You want to put it on your tender?
I thought it was like a new term for your penis. - On my "tender"?
I thought you wanted to take a photo and then put it on your penis.
Which I was comfortable with.
- How do your glutes look?
- My glutes? Hot! - Hot?
- I have huge glutes.
- What if it was chocolate milk?
- If I had chocolate milk coming out? Buddy..
You wouldn't see me for days.
- Ask him if you could have a sip of HIS water and then just chug the whole thing.
- Do you mind if I have your water?
*Chris chuckles*
- You would like the one that – - I would really want that one
- – from which I have drank?
- Drink the whole thing but tell him it's just a sip.
- Alright, you go ahead. - Thanks man..
- That's very funny.
- I'm just taking just a sip though.
- Chug the whole thing. Chug it, just the whole thing.
No, leave just a tiny, tiny bit and offer it to –
- Well, I left you some.
- Thank you for that..
- So I found this picture, also I was looking for a sexy Chris Pratt.
- There you go. - It's you.
- What do you think the guitar was thinking at this point?
- What do you think the guitar was thinking at that point? Like if the guitar –
- Take your dick out of me.
You can put it on your Tinder.
- Here let's both flex. - Yeah that's good.
- Your guns are bigger way than mine, but because of the, because I'm closer
it'll look like my guns are bigger.
- Yeah, I'll be like this – *points to Ian's guns"
- Yeah, all right. - That's killer. - Thanks, man.
- So it was like in it? Was it like uh –
- Yeah, I put my dick into the back of the guitar –
- It was like dick in a box.
- I was the first to do dick in a box.
- Did you feel the vibrations when you played it?
- That's why I put my dick in there.
Hey guys, thanks so much for watching. Chris Pratt would definitely want you to click that subscribe button.
My name is Chris Pratt and I approve this message. That was totally his voice.
It wasn't – it was totally real..
Click the video on the left if you want to see us do even more
embarrassing stuff in front of Chris Pratt.
And click the video on the right to see the time Ian prank interviewed the Rock while I thoroughly
made him make an ass out of himself.
- My name is Hurdle.
- Boom chicka boom boom rock.
- You're a jerk.
- Boom chicka boom boom rock.
- and if you're watching all this on a phone or tablet, all the links for these things are in the description box below.
Bye-bye!