I was in the EDL from 2009 till 2014.
I blame myself.
I made the wrong decisions
and now I'm having to put them decisions right
to help other people, to prevent them making them decisions.
I think everyone has the ability to change their life around
and deserves a chance to be able to turn their life around.
Come on through, Ivan. Right, thank you. Take a seat.
I want something positive. OK.
Because I was in the EDL for five years, so I got this tattoo.
Now, I don't really want that one covered up
because I look at that and see how far I've come from my new journey,
so I want something that resembles positivity, the new me.
I was a bit lonely, I guess, a bit withdrawn.
I was bringing up two kids on me own.
And seeing friends in town, I sort of, like, distanced myself
because I was staying in, looking after the kids.
So when I first got my Facebook years ago, that was my social life.
So that's when I found a voice and how I found friends.
And...when I found my voice with the EDL,
I sort of... I found somewhere where I belong.
YELLING
I turned proper anti-Islam.
I just thought all the immigrants
were just coming here to take our jobs.
What I was good at was finding the stories
that made people angry cos...it was easy.
It's hard to explain the rush you get, it's like the drug of choice.
When I done my first demonstration, it was...
The atmosphere, it was like in a football awayday
with your mates and the atmosphere was good.
I can't really describe it, it's just one of them feelings
that you don't sort of forget either.
Something changed inside me that I just couldn't do it no more,
if you know what I mean.
What's it going to be like looking at you arm with no hair on it, mate?
That's what I'm thinking. It's going to be weird.
When I first heard about Ivan's story, I was interested.
It's definitely a topic that is currently everywhere
and I wanted to know more about him.
It will grow back, I promise. That's all right, it's cool.
The tattoo I'm going to get is going to be a positive one.
Just a few words on my arm.
"There's more that brings us together than divides us."
That's my story in a nutshell.
You feel dizzy, light-headed, let me know.
Scream and shout if it makes you feel better.
But don't move. No, I won't.
Ready to ink it up?
MUSIC: Heavy Young Heathens by Mulholland Drive
So what started to change my mind was I was shopping in Norwich
with my kids and I see a couple of Muslim women with headscarves on
and from the town I'm from, we didn't really see that.
So, a bit intrigued, I guess. I followed them up some stairs,
they went into a room.
I knocked on the window, and everybody looked round,
and then this Muslim man came out and...
..sort of said, what was I doing there?
I sort of said, "Well, I'm English Defence League.
"Maybe I think I'd like to have a chat with you about a few things."
He challenged my views, he gave me another way to look at things.
Instead of looking down the blinkered view I had,
he gave me a bit of the bigger picture to look at.
We just agreed to meet and have coffee
for a couple of hours every two weeks.
And slowly, after talking for a while, that's when it got
a bit scary, cos I started finding common ground with him.
Yeah. And when you find a common ground, sort of trust
and friendships form, so then I was...
It was a bit weird for me back then. Yeah.
And it was a bit surreal, yeah.
It was a big choice to leave because that is everything I wanted.
Five years ago, that was everything.
I found myself, when I left, I found myself back at square one,
at home with the kids.
Not really their fam...friends kind of thing any more,
because when you leave an organisation like that,
a lot of people turn against you cos they think you're leaving for...
Especially with me, with talking to Muslims, you can understand
that people were a bit confused with why I was leaving,
but I understood, and went going, hey, once you take responsibility
for yourself, life changes.
Stop blaming people and you can change, maybe you can make a change.
Definitely.
Right, Ivan, we are all done. Just going to finish wiping it off
and then we will get you up and you can have a look at it in the mirror.
Wow. There you go.
See, that's where I was. This is where I am now.
So my tattoos have actually got meaning now.
My work nowadays is just giving talks about my story,
preventing people making the mistakes I did
and talking about all forms of extremism and the groups involved.
Sending a positive message.
Coming out of the movement,
you've sort of hardened up your heart a bit
and now meeting the people, talking to people,
I've got a heart again now.
My heart's softened up.
I have feelings now, do you know what I mean?
Where I suppose I blocked a lot of feeling out...
..because I didn't think I deserved to be happy or didn't deserve this.
Now I'm starting to believe in myself.
And that's the best bit, is once you believe in yourself,
anything's possible.