- Hello there, in this video we are discussing 10 powerful,
killer questions that you can ask,
that will change your clients' lives.
Hi, this is Ajit Nawalkha, I'm host of "Evercoach,"
and in this video,
we are discussing the very important matters of coaching.
Which is being able to ask powerful, meaningful,
impactful questions to our clients,
so they can have a great transformation with us.
Towards the end of this video,
I will also share with you a new guide that I've written
with 21 most powerful questions that we have found
here at "Evercoach," that you can use
in your coaching sessions to create extraordinary outcomes
for your clients.
But more on that later.
Before we get started, it is important to understand
what is the purpose of a powerful, impactful question?
So, let's first understand,
why do we even need to ask powerful questions?
The first reason
is so you can increase your clients autonomy.
A lot of times when our clients come to us,
they come to a coach because they need to feel empowered,
they need to feel that they are in control of their lives.
They need to feel that they have autonomy
and control in their lives.
This is exactly why we ask powerful questions.
We want them to feel and know that they have all the power,
all the control to design and create their lives.
A powerful question enables your client
to remember the autonomy they have on their own life.
Your client's life is a product of their own choices.
By asking powerful questions, you invite them to reflect
and listen to their own insights,
make choices they want and take charge of their destiny,
instead of telling them what to do.
Questions evoke self discovery,
develop intrinsic motivation and increase confidence
that ultimately develop greater autonomy for your clients.
The second reason you want to ask powerful questions
is because you want to expand on your clients competence.
You see, when you ask the type of questions
we are going to discuss today,
you enable your clients to expand their competence.
You enable them to be able to discover
more of what they are capable of.
And because of that, be able to find
a whole new level of abilities within themselves.
People are completely capable
of changing their own behavior.
Powerful questions challenge your clients assumptions
about the world and rewire their brain
to look at a current challenge differently.
As a coach, you don't want to focus
on your client's problems or challenges,
but rather on how they perceive them.
Once you help them discover their limiting beliefs,
you empower them to create change in their lives.
The third reason you want to ask powerful questions
is because it helps your clients
connect the otherwise unconnected dots.
You see, a lot of times when life is happening to us,
we are so entrapped in it, that we can't see
why something is happening to us
and why something that may be happening right now
may be actually useful in the future,
may be actually powerful for us in the future.
Steve Jobs famously once said,
that you can only connect the dots backwards.
This is exactly what we need to do when we empower
our clients with really meaningful questions.
We help our clients be able to connect the dots backwards,
to be able to see a pattern in their life,
to be able to see what is it that has led them
to this particular situation that they are at right now
and what they can do
to change the situation if they choose to.
Fourth reason for asking meaningful, powerful,
impactful questions is to gain clarity.
Our clients seek clarity.
They come to us so they can find
some more clarity in their lives.
Because we, as coaches, can be objective
and can ask questions that may be difficult sometimes,
may be courageous sometimes, maybe go into spaces
that are rather uncomfortable sometimes.
We can help our clients find clarity
that may otherwise be unavailable to them.
The fifth reason to ask powerful questions
is because it enhances creativity.
You see, we are always living in a reactive world,
we are never questioning the status quo.
When a coach comes in and drops in with a client in a deep
and meaningful way, if we are able to ask the right question
in the context of situation we are dealing with,
we may inspire creativity.
So, these are the five key reasons why you want
to always be looking forward to asking powerful questions.
So, what does comprise a powerful question?
Here are some of the elements that you want to consider
a question has to know
if it is going to be a powerful question or not.
A question is considered powerful if they arise
from a place of not knowing,
where the coach has really got no answers.
It evokes inquiry for which the coach is seeking answers.
It is respectful, yet they challenge the client
to depart from their usual thinking.
Is direct and open-ended
instead of leading to a yes, or a no, response.
Is spontaneous and in the moment, instead of pre planned.
It digs deeper towards the mind of a client
rather than the situation at hand.
It reframes the current challenge.
It's humorous, often, and creates a shift
in the energy of the situation.
It creates deep meaning and stays with the client.
So, what are some of these powerful questions?
Like I mentioned in the starting of the video,
below this video, you will find the link,
which leads you to 21 most powerful questions
that we have found through our research
that a coach can ask that will create an impact
in their client's life.
We are going to discuss 10
out of these 21 questions in this video.
But if you want the full list, scroll below
and find the link that takes you
to the 21 most powerful questions that you can ask
that creates an impact in your clients life.
Now, let me share with you the first question.
The first question that opens the world up so powerfully
between a coach and the coachee,
is, what would make this conversation
an extraordinary conversation?
You see, by asking the question in a format
which requests the coachee to think about
and respond from a place of making a conversation,
an extraordinary conversation, sets the bar up high.
It gets your coachee to remember that that conversation
they're about to have with you will be an extraordinary one.
And they need to come from a place
of being an extraordinary person.
They need to approach this conversation
as an extraordinary conversation.
This intent alone
often makes those conversations, powerful conversations.
The second most powerful question inspires clarity.
The question you want to ask your clients is,
how will you know that you have achieved this outcome?
Or, what does achieving this look or feel like for you?
This question is so very important.
A lot of times, you'll find that your clients
will come to you and will set out
a big goal in front of you.
I want this house, I want this car,
or I would love to have this.
Very often, these are just acquired goals
from the outside world without giving much thought
to if the client really truly wants something.
If they want a particular raise,
do they really want that raise?
If they really want that relationship to last,
if they really want their health to change
from place where they are to another place.
They may think about those outcomes,
but they have never really leaned into,
what would it look like
when they would have got those outcomes?
And because they don't have any sense of clarity,
very often, you would find that clients that set out goals
are creating progress towards it, lose sight of it.
Or, sometimes achieve the goal but never recognize
that they achieved that goal and hence never celebrated.
How many times it may have happened with you
where you did set up a goal, you achieved it,
and you didn't even recognize that you achieve that goal.
That happens with our clients all the time.
Let's set ourselves up in a way where we can bring clarity
to the big goal, the big item
that they want to achieve in life to also identify,
what would it mean?
How would it look like when somebody achieved that goal?
The third powerful question deals with fear.
You see, very often, our clients are scared
to make progress towards the area
they want to make progress in.
Very often, our clients are fearful of the situation
that they have at hand very often.
They're fearful of the challenge
they're experiencing in life.
Which is why this question is so very important.
The question is, if you knew you wouldn't fail,
what would you try?
The reason why we asked this question
is because we are taking away the fear of failure.
We want our clients to not operate from a place of,
what if I fail, but what if I win?
Once they have taken off the shackles of failure
and the fear of failure, they can now operate
from a place of what needs to be done, what's important.
Not what gets us scared
and hence we don't want to take action towards,
but what is really important to achieve
what they really want to achieve in life
or create the life that they want to create.
It is important to take away fears from my clients
and this question how to do just the same.
The next question brings focus to a client's life
and definitely brings focus to our conversation.
The question is, what do you want to focus on today?
The reason why we want to ask the question
of what do you want to focus on today,
is because very often we have too much on our mind.
We are thinking about too many ideas,
we're concerned about too many strategies,
we concerned about too many areas of our life
at any given time.
That's just how life is, life has too much to offer.
And that becomes exactly the reason
why we are not focused in our dialogue.
And when we are having an unfocused dialogue between us
and our client, very often we may lead
to the end of the conversation never really get
to the most impactful part of the conversation.
Which is why it's a great idea to start a conversation
by asking, what do we want to focus on?
Or, to recalibrate the conversation
if it's going everywhere, to simply ask the question,
what do you want to focus on today?
The next question makes our clients future focused.
The question is, what would you be most excited
to create in the next three years?
Or, if you could create anything you want
in the next three years, what would that be?
The reason why we ask this question
is because a lot of times, we are so focused
in the immediate future.
We are always thinking about
what's happening next month, the next day.
But something that is of real success,
something that is of value takes time to build.
Very often our business dreams, our goals in life
may take several years to come true.
Which is why you want to ask your clients,
what would they like to achieve in the next three years?
It is enough time that it doesn't cause anxiety,
like a one year goal would.
And also doesn't feel like, "Oh, it's so far away,"
like a five year goal would.
Which is why three years
seems like the perfect middle point,
which is a good question to ask without the anxiety,
without the boredom, creating a perfect level of excitement.
So I invite you to ask your clients the question,
what would they like to create in the next three years?
This may be a really good question,
to open up a future focus dialogue.
A dialogue that invites them to think bigger
than what they may have thought until now.
The next question deals with the importance
of a particular goal and it also invites your clients
to think bigger than themselves.
The question is, how will achieving this goal help you
and others around you?
We, as human species, are always interested in contributing
to other people, contributing to other people's success.
This is why this question is so very vital.
How is achieving this particular goal
will help you as a coachee?
And how will it help others around you?
Once we can help our clients reflect on that,
now they are attached not only to the goal itself,
but the reason why they're chasing a goal.
This is very useful, especially when the goals are something
that the client themselves haven't defined.
It may be a company setting where there's a company goal
that your client needs to chase.
They're the team member of this team
that is trying to get to this goal.
And without any motivation for it, they may have
some financial benefit to actually do the goal.
But if you can associate their personal success,
with the success of the company,
with the success of this goal.
If you can attach their friends' and their peers' goals
to this larger goal that this company is trying
to achieve the work for, it will create an association
between your client and that goal
that is deep and meaningful.
And meaningful work gets everybody excited,
which is why you want to invite your client
to think about this question and ask themselves
if this goal that they're chasing is somehow useful to them,
and also useful to people around them.
The next question helps your clients plan.
You see, we all have big ideas, but a lot of times
where we fail at is execution.
Which is why this question becomes important
in a coaching session.
What is the smallest step
you can take today towards your goal?
We are asking them to put a small step
that will move them towards a big goal.
This is a classic example of breaking down
a complex problem into small pieces.
Small executable pieces,
so your clients can keep seeing progress.
You see, when we are chasing a five year or 10 year vision,
it may sometimes overwhelm us.
But a small baby step that you can take today, tomorrow
and the day after, is motivating, is inspiring
and it does create progress towards that large, large goal.
Help your clients see the small steps
they need to take to build a big vision.
The next question is a very important one.
The question is, by saying yes, to this,
what are you saying no to?
Very often we say yes, to a lot of things.
We don't want to say no, we want everything.
But every single time you say a yes,
you're trading something for it.
If you say yes to this big project,
you may be saying no to something that is important to you,
in your health or in your family.
If you say yes to your next social engagement,
are you taking away
from the time that you may spend with your kid?
When you say yes, what are you saying no, to?
There's always a trade-off and it's important
for our clients to always realize that every yes, they say,
they are saying no to something else.
And it needs to come to the presence
so they can make a more educated decision.
Very often, our clients can make commitment,
but not realize that every commitment
requires time and space.
And when they don't follow through on that commitment
because they didn't have the time or the space.
they are actually taking away from their integrity
and their performance.
This is why it's important to identify
what are we saying yes, to?
And what does that mean no, to?
The next question aligns with, what are the consequences
of when you're not achieving a goal?
The question is, what would happen
if you didn't achieve this goal?
The importance of this question is because a lot of times
we set big goals, and then a lot of times
we just don't follow through on them.
Our clients don't follow through
on their commitment, on their actions.
This is to help them realize what's the cost of an action?
What is the cost to them?
What is the cost to the company?
What is the cost to their family,
if they do not follow through on the commitment
that they have made in not achieve the goal
that they want to achieve.
This goal, it may be extraordinary, it may be difficult,
but should always be seen within the realm of possibility.
And hence, your client should be able to say
what happens if the goal is not achieved.
And what would be the consequences they are willing
to go through, if the goal was not achieved?
When your clients put themselves in a balance
of what they will achieve, they achieve the goal
versus what they will lose if they don't achieve the goal,
they will be able to see why they should take action
and why they should continue to make progress.
This final question changes the state of your client,
changes your state, changes the conversation
that you're about to have.
The question is, what are you grateful for right now?
Having gratitude for life
and for events in life changes our state.
And this question becomes so very important,
especially if your client is feeling
any kind of emotional tension
if the conversation between you and your clients
is not panning out the way you want to.
If there is anything that is making them feel
that life is not treating them fairly.
If they're not getting everything
that they wanted out of life.
Turning them on to one of the grateful for right now
changes their attitude towards life.
There will be times where your clients
will find it hard to see the beauty of life,
will find it hard to find something to be grateful for.
But if you explore that idea more, if you invite them
to that dialogue more and sit with them
until they find something to be grateful for,
will completely change the course
of the rest of the conversation.
Now, I would like to talk
about powerful questions for hours,
but this is a short video on YouTube.
And this is the best quick summary of the 10 questions
I could create for you in this short period of time
that we have together.
If you want the guide to 21 powerful questions,
I'm linking them up below this video.
We have studied years of coaching material,
done coaching ourselves and found that these 21 questions
seem to always create
amazing outstanding outcomes with our clients.
Go and find that link below and download this PDF.
Now, before you leave. I'm sure you enjoyed this video.
If that was the case, go ahead and hit that like button.
Share it with a friend that you think
may use these 10 questions or may need insight
on these 10 questions that could help them be a better coach
or a better human being.
Share with me which one was your favorite question,
in the comment section below.
I would love to see what are some of those outstanding ones
or if you would rephrase a particular question
in a different way.
I would love to hear more of that.
Thank you so much for watching.
This is Ajit Nawalkha
and you are watching this on "Evercoach."