But first I want to talk about 2020.
Nothing bad, don't worry.
Your faces we're all of a sudden--
"2020"?
You had that same scared look that everybody
has when Nana lights up a cigarette
and wants to tell you about a man named indigo
she met at Woodstock.
[LAUGHTER]
"And then--" [MAKES SMOKING EXHALE SOUND]..
So in honor of 2020 being so close to being over,
I'm going to take a look back at some of my favorite moments
that we've had on this show year,
starting way back in January when my good friend Jennifer
Aniston guest-hosted for me.
Here's what happened when she surprised
some fans on the Warner Brothers tour of Central Perk.
And welcome to the set of Friends
here at Warner Brothers studio tour Hollywood.
This is the real set.
Just sit right here, all four of you.
Who's your favorite friend?
I would say, Ross.
But look right over here at this camera.
I'm going to take two photos of you.
So act super-excited, like you already are.
And lights, camera, and latte.
Ross?
[ALL SCREAMING]
What?
Who said Ross?
I did not.
You said Ross.
Not me.
Cheers.
Yay.
Hi.
Can I get you a little latte?
[SCREAMING]
Oh, my God!
Yeah?
Yes!
It's fake.
We have to pretend.
Oh, my God.
Hi, guys.
Lights, camera, and latte.
Espresso!
[SCREAMING]
I know.
It's the cruelest thing in the world.
Lights, camera, and latte.
Hi!
What's happening?
OK.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
Is it real?
Am I dreaming?
No, you're not dreaming.
Is it really, really you?
Is there a mask on?
No.
No?
This is all--
Are you real?
This is all happening.
So you really film here?
I live here.
Who's your favorite friend?
Joey.
Lights, camera, action.
Joey?
[SCREAMING]
It's OK.
I love Joey too.
Oh, my God.
We all love Joey.
Oh, my God.
It's OK.
Who is your favorite friend?
Phoebe.
Same.
Monica.
Phoebe.
And lights, camera, and latte.
I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
[SCREAMING]
Oh, my God.
It's you!
I was gonna say you.
"I was gonna say you."
We love you!
Aw, you are so sweet.
Cheers.
[APPLAUSE]
Only Jennifer Aniston can scare people
and make it look adorable.
Before COVID hit, I spent Super Bowl weekend
at the Hard Rock Hotel.
It was amazing mostly because I got to raid the minibar.
But also I got to teach Andy how to play blackjack and be
a dealer.
OK, we're going to head to a table here.
Here we go.
[ALL CLAMORING]
Hi, there.
Hi.
Hi, everybody.
We're going to take over here now.
No way.
OK.
All right.
All right, what do we got?
You in the middle of a hand?
I'm dealer.
No, I know.
This is me.
I know.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
What do you want to do?
I'm going to have you add real quick.
Because I don't think you can add.
All right, really fast, how much is that?
How much is that real quick?
27.
How much is that?
27, 32.
How much is that?
18.
How much is that?
You don't do that.
Why can't I just do one thing without you--
How much is that?
--harassing?
How much is that?
That's a lot.
It's too much.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to help with the cocktail waitresses.
So I'll be back and take your order.
All right.
Love it.
Here we go, here we go.
Here we go.
What would you like to drink?
I'm going to take drink orders.
Shot of tequila.
Vodka and cranberry.
Vodka-cranberry.
I'll have the same.
Same thing.
Shirley Temple?
Please.
Yeah, I would actually like that.
All right.
Go get your drinks.
OK.
I'll be back.
How do you guys have this kind of money?
Because I got to be honest with you,
I'm not making that kind of money.
Oh!
Beautiful.
There you go.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's awesome.
Who's low on chips?
Do you need more chips?
Yes.
All right, call.
There you go.
Do you get it?
More chips?
It's potato chips.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Ellen.
Oh!
Whoa.
Look what you're doing.
You're giving money away.
You got to tip that dealer.
Just the tip.
Did you say just the tip?
[LAUGHTER]
No I was saying--
Why do you have to do that?
You guys, look what I found.
This was on the wall.
It said it was Mick Jagger's.
And I just took it down.
And I was, like, somebody's going to want this.
Does anybody want it.
Is she allowed to do this?
Do you know the kind of bill we're going
to get at the show for her?
Yeah, that's nice.
Does anybody need more money?
Because I could go to the ATM.
Who wants me to go?
$3,000 would be good.
OK.
What is your PIN number?
[LAUGHTER]
2673.
18?
(SINGSONGY) Twenty-six seventy-three, Twenty-six
seventy-three.
2673.
I have never been to one of these.
What happens?
We have new cards.
OK, new cards.
Ready?
Here we go.
Whoa.
[LAUGHTER]
Interesting.
Oh.
What is this?
This is Ellen humiliating me.
What's wrong with you?
You need tips.
If you unbutton your shirt more, you'll get more tips.
Oh, look.
It's already working.
Woo!
Thank you.
That's from that.
Don't put it in there.
It's tips.
It's for you.
Those are just the tips.
I can't help it.
But it doesn't work with multiple.
I know.
"Those are just the tips."
That's what she said.
It's just the tip.
Help yourself, whatever you want.
All right, let's go.
Thank you.
It was nice meeting everyone.
Bye, everybody.
Thank you.
Bye, guys.
Whoa!
Let me help you with that.
We had such a good ending of a shoot.
[APPLAUSE]
If you're looking to lose money, Andy's your guy.
Finally it's important to focus on the good right
now more than ever.
We could all use a laugh, even my producers, Andy.
It's usually at his expense anyway.
Here's back when we were taping the show from my house.
Andy taught tWitch and I about the different types of birds.
The next bird I want to teach everyone about
is the Dickcissel.
[LAUGHTER]
What's the name of it?
The Dickcissel.
OK.
The Dickcissel has yellow breasts, gray cheeks,
a large pale pecker.
And these birds are named for their loud persistent songs.
Sorry?
What are their songs?
(IMITATING BIRD) Dick-dick-ciss-ciss-ciss.
I can't do it anymore.
Wow.
Next, we have the Booby.
Since the Booby is a seabird, you
can find many of these fine looking Boobies on the beach.
Boobies hunt by diving into the sea.
To help cushion their dive, Boobies--
Boobies have facial sacks.
Wow.
You know a lot about Boobies.
What else do you have to teach us, Andy?
This is the last one.
The last thing I want to tell you about--
this isn't real.
It is.
The last thing I want to tell you about is the Cockchafer.
[LAUGHTER]
The Cockchafer is a European beetle.
It's not really a bee.
But the Cockchafer-- oh, my God.
The Cockchafer has wings like the bee.
So it's sort of a bee.
But it isn't.
It's a Cockchafer.
And that's today's lesson about the birds and the bees.
Oh, Andy, thank you so much.
We learned a lot.
[APPLAUSE]
2020 has been an incredibly challenging year.
But if anything, it has shown us the love and compassion
that we have for one another.
I hope in 2021 we see more of it--
that, and toilet paper.