When you come into this life
you come in with an intention,
or many.
That intention is one of the big reasons
why you incarnate into the specific circumstances
that you call your life.
For example, those specific parents,
those specific life path potentials,
at that specific time,
in that specific city...
and all the dynamics
that those types of things give rise to.
Please pause and read before you watch this video:
How Trauma Plays A Role In Purpose
Your purpose is perfectly in alignment
with that pre-birth intention.
But, when I say purpose, I need you to keep in mind
that a person's purpose may or may not be
about a career that they're meant to have.
We like to think of trauma as an oppositional force to purpose.
We like to think that it derails somebody from their purpose.
And while trauma can absolutely
derail somebody away from their purpose,
trama also tends to shape someone powerfully for their purpose.
It may be interesting for many of you to know
that also some people intend on coming into a life
where the trauma they experience derails them from their purpose,
so as to become lost,
because when they become "lost"
this sets a person on a journey of self-exploration.
They wanna find their personal truth.
And that journey of self-exploration
leads a person to using their free will
to choose what they powerfully want
and with the information they gain about themselves,
what direction to go in life.
Essentially, they choose with their free will
to live in alignment with their true authentic self.
A person's purpose is born of both shadow and light,
both trauma and joy.
It is so important to understand
that a person's trauma does not only play a role
in their dysfunctionality, their weakness and their problems.
It also plays a role
in their functionality, strengths and advantages.
So, it can be said the trauma is often at the root of people's failures,
it is also often at the root of their success.
To understand more about this, you can watch my video titled:
What Is The Trauma Healing Paradox?
You may also benefit by watching my video titled:
Can You Hold Dichotomy? Objective Thinking
As people we tend to make trauma wrong.
And when we make trauma wrong,
we make anything that comes from trauma wrong.
And when we do this
we run into a serious roadblock.
When we make anything that comes from trauma wrong,
we tend to do this thing
where when we find out that trauma
is at the root of something that we are doing
or some goal that we have,
we decide that we shouldn't be doing that thing
or we shouldn't have that goal.
Essentially if we realize that trauma plays a role
regarding why we have a certain career
or a certain goal or a specific need,
or a specific desire,
or a specific purpose
then we will tell ourselves
that we shouldn't be doing that career or aiming for that goal,
or we need to heal so that we don't have that need or desire
and it isn't our actual purpose,
it's just a coping mechanism.
When we do this, we get things terribly wrong.
We assign the wrong meaning to our realization.
To understand more about this
you would benefit by watching my video titled:
You Can't Heal Yourself Out Of A Desire
You would be hard-pressed to find anybody
whose purpose just simply comes from
joy and natural talent and spontaneously generated interest.
And trust me,
when people claim that that's what it is
and that there's no trauma involved,
they haven't dug deep enough into their childhoods.
So, it's better to accept the following:
that trauma absolutely plays a role in someone's purpose.
You will find it as an ingredient
in someone's purpose.
You will find it as an ingredient
and why they're interested in what they're interested in,
and why they choose to do what they do with their time.
And what their goals are,
and what their desires and needs are.
In fact, for some specific purposes
extreme trauma is the only thing that creates a drive strong enough
to propel a person through the challenges they must overcome
to achieve their goal.
Challenges that, quite frankly, are beyond most people's limits
and that others with less drive would say no to.
Here's the thing, when we discover the trauma
is at the root of what we're doing with ourselves
and at the root of our goals,
we must become aware that there could be big shadows
inherent in what we are doing
and/or the way we are doing it.
Thus, when we discover trauma at the root of what we are doing
we must begin a process of becoming aware of that trauma
and with the awareness of it,
we must then decide what to do with it
and how to go about healing it directly.
It is in the healing of the trauma
that we purify ourselves into alignment with our purpose.
If we heal the trauma
that is at the root of whatever it is that we are doing,
either, #1:
We will discover
after we heal that trauma
that the only reason we were doing something
is because of the trauma
and because of healing that trauma
there is no longer an intrinsic motive to do that thing
and therefore we have a different calling altogether,
and we'll most likely quit what we are doing.
Or...
#2. We will heal the trauma,
but by virtue of healing that trauma
intrinsic motive is still there to be doing that thing,
however, it is most likely that when we purify
all the things we were doing straight from the trauma itself,
the way that we go about doing that thing will change.
We will do it in a different way.
So we won't quit, we'll be doing the same thing,
but we'll be doing it differently
and we'll be doing it in a way that it comes from a different energy.
And because of that,
most likely, we will be even more successful at it.
So that you can understand this concept at a deeper level,
I've got two examples for you;
First example, let's look at Gatik.
Gatik is an actor at this point
and a very, shall we say, successful one.
His career has brought him a whole lot of money
and a whole lot of attention
and a whole lot of significance.
Here's the thing,
Gatik has recently had a crisis relative to his career.
He realized that his thirst for fame began when he was a child.
It was the result of growing up with parents
where nothing he did was ever good enough.
Parents that shamed him for needing their attention.
They had their own expectations about what he should do
and didn't really care who he was.
As a result, Gatik never had space to figure himself out.
All he knew is that when he went into a role of someone else,
he felt relief.
The relief of being immersed in a different story
and a different life.
And he had an insatiable desire to prove himself.
Acting was an obvious way for him to find this relief
from the emptiness of selfhood within
and from the pain of insignificance and lack of attention.
When Gatik started to unravel his past trauma
and he started to heal that past trauma,
and he got into a relationship with a bunch of friends
who really cared about who he authentically was,
authenticity was their main value,
he found he had no motivation to act whatsoever.
Even though Gatik was really grateful
for what that chapter of his life did for him,
meaning that chapter of acting...
this thing that he once considered to be his purpose
now seemed much more like a "so that".
It wasn't that he liked it,
in fact he hated so many elements of it
it was insane.
It was about what doing those things he hated,
got him.
Meaning those things that the trauma he experienced
made him so desperate for.
Something that remained with Gatik
was this intense desire for attention.
This is important for what is to come;
Okay, but let's say that we go and we follow Gatik
back in this time period of his life where he's having a life crisis
so he's having to go back to the drawing board in his life
he realized that since he was very young
he had an interest in cooking.
So what he decided to do is enroll himself in a cooking school.
And there he got really interested
in harvesting and preserving ancient grains and beans
that were about to go extinct,
and making food with those.
And he found his absolute calling in life.
Some years later,
not only did he open a restaurant
where he could serve those almost extinct species of plants,
he also had his own cooking show.
Okay, so what we'd say is
he is an example of what happens when you heal the trauma
and you find that your purpose is something different.
And that whatever it is that you did
was a way of getting there,
rather than the thing in and of itself.
#2. Kathy is a therapist who specializes
in marriage and family therapy.
Recently, Kathy's become aware
of just how much her desire or decision to become a therapist
had to do with the dysfunction in her own family.
Her trauma was that she always felt super confused
and afraid of all the conflict that was happening all the time.
The family dynamics created huge instability
and all the gaslighting made her feel insane.
Also, when her parents split up
she could not get over needing to figure out
how to have been able to prevent it.
When Kathy found psychology
she found the promise of being able to figure it all out.
Not only that she found something
that could provide stability and sanity
and she could take that stability and sanity
and go and give it to other people
so that they would act in a way that made her feel safe in the world.
When Kathy first realized
how much her own childhood pain and unsafety
was playing into her decision to be a therapist, in the first place,
she started to doubt how pure her practice was,
so she took some time off
to really face this element of her profession.
In this process, Kathy found that underneath that trauma
was a genuine love of working through problems
and a love of the intimacy and deep conversations
that she could have with people.
And a deep intrinsic interest in understanding people
and all the research around the human mind.
Kathy realized that without having experienced her past
she would not have the grasp of the subject
or the understanding for the people who came to see her,
that she would have without that trauma.
So she could very easily see at this point
that her trauma played an integral role
in preparing her for this ultimate purpose.
By the way, which was to be a therapist.
However, some things changed.
By going through this process of healing
and becoming aware of this trauma
that was feeding into why
she was deciding to do what she was doing
i.e being a therapist,
she started to recognize when she was projecting
her own need for stability and sanity and security
on to the other people that she was seeing
and therefore needing them to change something
so she could feel stable and sane again.
And when she feels that projection,
she owns it now.
And she deals with it in a way that's internal,
and not externalized with her clients.
Also, she spends much more time on marriage therapy
because it's what she enjoys the very very most.
Also, when she has a client who she just can't figure out,
or who triggers her too much,
she now passes them off to a colleague
who she thinks would be able to handle the case better,
instead of doing what she would have done
which is to stick with it because she's got this belief
that if she doesn't figure it out all by herself
then not only is she doomed,
they are doomed.
Kathy is more in alignment with her purpose now.
This process of healing
did not cause her to change course,
it caused her to stay the course.
Except for to do it in a different way.
And we can definitely say that the way she's doing it now
makes her a much more successful therapist.
Seeing as how trauma is an integral piece of your purpose,
you get to look at that trauma
consciously examine it and decide with your free will
what you want to do with it.
When it comes to trauma and to resolving and healing your trauma
scrap what isn't working for you.
Let go of what is detrimental or at odds with what you really want.
and powerfully own what is working for you
and what is beneficial
and what is bringing you what you really want.
The way to go about it when you find trauma
at the root of whatever it is that you are doing,
is you focus directly on that trauma.
You resolve it.
You focus on healing it.
You don't automatically make it mean that
because there's trauma at the root of what you're desiring
or at the root of what you're doing,
it means you shouldn't be doing it.
Instead...
Get open and get curious.
No matter what direction this process takes you
it will be towards something that feels better to you.
The process of doing so will in and of itself
make you aware of what you are not yet aware of.
It will force you to separate out
what is and isn't ultimately in alignment for you.
It will reveal to you
if you are meant to go in a different direction
and towards a different purpose altogether,
or if your purpose is what you are already doing
and therefore, if instead, it will take on a different form
and come from a different place within you.
Potentially, instead of changing
your purpose will simply deepen
as a result of this process.
You can only know what your truth is
underneath the trauma,
when you're brave enough to heal that trauma
and see what's left over after the process.
Have a good week.
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I wanna thank you personally
for the bravery that you have to step into awareness.
I'll see you in the next video.
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