Asalaamu-alaikum guys and welcome to another episode of smile2jannah
Alright guys so I came across a very fascinating interview
between a very famous ex-porn actress
-you're a dirty guy (x4) -Hijab, allow me please
who has decided to leave the industry and
become a practicing Christian and now she actively encourages people to leave
the business and just find God to be honest.
With my relationship with my
husband- he's the first man I ever did this with but- I waited until marriage to
-have sex with him. -I love you
before- it wasn't easy but it's possible with God
And the person she's interviewing is called Nargis Fakhri. She is a model,
a bollywood actress and she's even been in a Hollywood movie as well called Spy.
And the actors that she's worked with in Bollywood range from Salman Khan,
Emraan Hashmi, Ranbir Kapoor even a flippin Snoop Dog as well- in other words
she's certified. And in this interview she was very open and she mentioned a
lot of points that I think we can benefit loads from.
And you know you have a whole team putting all this stuff on your face and doing your hair,
and then you're doing these shoots and you look amazing and I remember coming home
taking off my eyelashes, my weave, like boob pads
everything and I'm looking in the mirror- I'm like, who are you?
Now this was actually very honest for her to say because whenever we think of
beautiful women we think that's how they look in real life, and secondly we think
that they're gonna be happy and secure in their own body because they're not
ashamed of displaying themselves to other people. But it was nice to hear
that she reflected on this. And reflection is one of the things that
Allah encourages us to do many times, but the routines that we're in don't
necessarily allow us to do that. And let's face it, adverts aren't necessarily
gonna make you secure because their job is to make you insecure and make you
feel like you're not enough, and their product will help you be enough.
Even though I know the truth I also got caught up in like- oh my God I don't look
-like that girl on the magazine -yeah -This is what I look like.
A lot of us, no matter how woke or knowledgeable we are,
get affected by what we see.
I was looking at Instagram all the time because I was trying to keep up with my
friends and other people, then other famous people and I was telling my
manager I'm like- oh my God, my life sucks look at these people they're having so
much fun I just want to be there with them or or I want to be like this person
and my manager looked at me and she's like girl, you think Rihanna's page, you
know it looks perfect but you think she's always happy? And then she just started
pointing out other celebrities, she's like "look, everyone's in your situation as
well they're feeling the same things, they're just posting something fun"
She's like "Look at your page. We went out clubbing you posted a party picture, I
know that you were not happy there but you made everyone else think you're
having the time of your life"
Here Nargis admits the same thing.
I mean reminds me of the quote "whatever the eyes see the mind believes" and
that's why we're told to lower our gaze. So if we're scrolling down social media
we see attractive people or we see people are constantly happy in these
provocative environments like clubs and wherever these parties...we will think
that these people are genuinely happy. But when you're constantly reinforced
something again and again and again and again, eventually it breaks you down.
Even if you got a rock
If you smelllll....
and just a drop of water falls on it continuously-
I mean what is a drop of water compared to a rock?
If you smelllll....
But if it keeps dropping and falling on it,
eventually a hole will emerge.
Fame, like I feel like it ruined my soul.
Now this is a very strong and honest statement to make frankly.
But of course some people are gonna say "ah she's just saying that to get attention"
What attention? Somebody in her position
will do better off, if people think she's happy in her life.
So I had to find a way to just back away from all of it and not seek validation,
in what other people are saying.
Needing people to validate you is a very dangerous thing because let's face it,
people's opinion of you change based upon what they feel they
can get from you. So if they feel like they're benefiting from you/ getting
something from you,
they're your best friend. They're happy with you but as
-soon as they feel that that's run out well -You're nothing boy
and then they turn on you and if
your happiness and validation depends on them, you're gone
And an example is Nargis herself,
because she says that she put on weight and then the people turned on her.
In one of the previous videos of Anthony Joshua he said exactly the same thing.
It's a shame because everyone likes me fighting when I'm winning but hates me when I lost.
And the need for validation from other people makes us
do very silly things. That's why you'll get certain people exposing themselves on
social media just so they can get likes from strangers.
Things are: Sleep with the director- I mean I've lost jobs... -yeah
-because I didn't do certain things -wow
What?
Of course this was something that sparked off the 'Metoo' movement a lot of
actresses still continue to do this and it's become somewhat of a norm. So the
fact that she's admitting that she doesn't do it supposedly, does show that
she does have some shame.
I'm not like so religious but I do have- like it's,
like it's my secret and it's very personal to me and I think I talk to God a lot.
That's brilliant yeah because this woman
was doing some funky stuff and the fact that she still kept close to God and
didn't write off her relationship with God is commendable because a lot of us
will go through a rebellious phase, it might be a couple of hours, might be a few days,
a few weeks months or even years. But regardless, whenever we're going through
that people are very quick to write us off. And thank God he hasn't put
forgiveness in the hands of people because let's face it, people are very
stingy when it comes to forgiving other people and very unfair. So if you are
going through something and people are turning against you, you and Allah, that
relationship should never be affected, yeah because even if your sins pile up
to the heavens Allah says, I will still forgive you.
Again when a lot of people see these models and actresses they think that they consciously made that
decision- yeah I wanna be this person or that person, but most often they're not,
it's an insecurity, the need for validation from other people and
sometimes it's just paying bills.
-I didn't have boundaries back then -right
so I always felt this heavy weight of like- oh gosh I gotta talke care of my family (x2)
so then that drove me towards constantly working.
I looked at porn and I go- this is it like I was really doing broadcasting journalism
because although I loved it, I felt like I was going to be noticed, I was going to
be seen, that people were gonna see me on TV and that somehow made me better than
then who I actually was
And of course guys yeah people will say -oh yeah I
can't really blame her because she was going through this... but think about it,
when things are going right it's easy to make the right choice. But it's only when
things are going wrong that's the true test. Will you make the right choice or
will you fall face-first into the trap?
And when you take the time to get to
know someone and not have sex with them so fast, you're
-building emotional intimacy -yes
and then through that you're able to see the red flags.
It's harder to learn them though when you're having sex with them.
Yes, because you can't get away because once you sleep with a man your soul is
intertwined with that man, whether he's good or bad you're bonded.
Now this is so profound it deserves a video in itself,
Go on (x5)
A lot of scholars and dawah brothers get
messages of sisters saying- you know what, this happened...this happened and then
intimacy's taking place now I found out it's toxic, or now he's not returning my
calls what do i do? I'm heartbroken... it's this/it's that. And look at what these
women are saying. That when you were intimate a special bond is made and it's
difficult for you to separate from that person. That's why don't we don't go into
this sort of stuff. Alright guys hope you guys benefited, one of the reasons I wanted
to make this video was, I mean this woman has been used by the industry.
When I say used- here are the lyrics to one of the songs that she's it
I mean that's a bit excessive isn't it?
I mean let's decipher the message.
They're not even trying to hide it anymore.
It's literally in plain sight. And to be honest guys being part of videos that
objectify women and tell us that we can only achieve happiness through being in
illicit relationships may seem innocent, but it affects millions of us in very
serious ways. It does seem that she clearly doesn't believe in what she's
actually putting out there.
Even though I know the truth I also got caught up in
But seen as she's- you know- playing with our insecurities and desires to
line her own pockets, because as for the rest of us we can spend the rest of our
lives trying to find purpose in finding that perfect partner that we've seen in
her videos and movies. We may or may not get one and then we are left heartbroken,
depressed maybe even hope antidepressants intoxicants and even suicide.
I mean marriages when they don't work
out because of the expectations that have been constantly fed into our head
through Bollywood and Hollywood and music and all of this stuff
eventually it is gonna affect your relationship.
But giving credit where credit is due,
I'm glad she spoke out and I hope she does get some sense and she leaves that
industry because to be party to that- each life that she's affecting in a
negative way is gonna weigh her down in this world and in the Hereafter.
So hope you guys benefited from this, let's leave it there guys, until next time
Asalaamu Alaikum