- Okay.
(Kendra clearing throat)
(Kendra exhaling)
This is heavy.
(Kendra exhaling)
(keyboard typing)
(soft music)
- I joined Jubilee because of the people.
- It's definitely like family to me.
- I love everyone.
(Kendra laughing)
I think everyone adds a really unique perspective
to our company and that's what makes us us.
- There's people from different like religions
or different like countries they grew up in
and different states,
but we're all like brought together
to do like this like mission of like human good and empathy.
- There's a lot of room to have amazing discussions
that I think are pretty taboo in like most office settings.
- Jubilee is all about empathy.
And what I've learned through my experience
is that the more that we dive into our feelings
and our secrets and our emotions,
the more that we are actually able
to connect with each other.
And the reason is
because it's our brokenness that often connects us all.
(keyboard typing)
(music continues)
Okay.
I tried to write it in a way so people won't know
(Ien laughing)
at Jubilee who wrote it.
- Yeah,
I told myself I wouldn't be in another Jubilee video.
- I'm a little nervous.
- I know who wrote it.
I think.
Well, who know...?
Maybe I don't.
- Oh, I forgot these were my coworkers, whoa.
I wonder who said this.
- Okay.
"I have spent so much time making others happy,
I'm unsure of how to make myself happy."
This sounds like so many people at Jubilee.
(Ien laughing)
Because we love giving to other people.
I think our happiness is totally tied with other people.
But I think it has to be a balance
where it's like you are honoring yourself
and the other person and both are in balance with their own,
with their needs.
I think if you come across a person
who is able to be assertive and strong about what they need,
you actually end up respecting them more
because they are very solidly their true selves.
But I would encourage all of us watching,
including Jubilee team, to stand, you know,
for your own kind of self time.
- "I'm an adult and I still have imaginary friends
that I talk to every day and spend time with at home.
Sometimes I rearrange the pillows on my couch
so that they can pretend I'm cuddling with them."
If anything, it means you have a super active imagination.
You can carry that many characters in your head at once,
including yourself.
There are writers and storytellers all over the world
who technically have imaginary friends,
they just called them characters in their stories.
(Tyre laughing)
- "I have spent so much time making others happy,
I am unsure of how to make myself happy."
So this is my secret.
(Devy laughing)
I can talk about it.
Or what do you wanna do?
- [Interviewer] No, I'll change it.
- Change it?
Okay. (Devy laughing)
I don't know why I kept reading it,
'cause I'm like, "This is mine."
(Devy laughing)
"I doubt my religious beliefs every day.
I try to remind myself that doubt is healthy,
but I'm scared in my get to the point
where I lose what I've based my entire life upon.
I often think that working at Jubilee
is the reason I keep drifting farther and farther away
from what I used to believe was the truth."
I want to be comfortable with whatever I believe in.
And I want to be loved by my family, no matter what it is.
But I can definitely agree with that.
I feel like Jubilee has allowed me, I've always been so open
in wanting to know different perspectives,
and I feel like Jubilee has allowed that,
which possibly lets doubt come in
when I go back to the Bible or like some things
like why can't we love everybody?
Why do we have to judge?
Why are some sins worse than others?
So it's just like a lot that comes into religion.
But I definitely can relate to that secret.
- Okay.
"I used to have a fully executed plan
of how I would murder one of my siblings.
Haven't coped with it, still don't like them,
but I learned murder is not my nature.
If I end up in jail for the rest of my life,
even in death, they still win."
Damn.
Sometimes the people that you grow up with
are not your people, you know?
In life, you get to have chosen family
and you get to have family that you can't do anything about.
And that's just that,
you literally can't do anything about it.
I don't think that you're the first person
that has ever thought about killing their sibling,
like in a for real way.
But I do think that it's something that you can be free of
at some point and don't have to feel captivated by.
- "The older I get, the uglier I feel inside.
I turn to friends for comfort and support,
but I fear they think so too."
I don't know anyone at Jubilee who's ugly on the inside.
And thus, I have to assume
that this secret is a total thought distortion
of someone perhaps being too hard on themselves.
So I would encourage this person to
I guess just reconsider, you know?
But unless one of my colleagues
is like a secret serial killer,
I don't think anyone's ugly on the inside.
- "I've cheated on my partner.
I really struggled with that.
I had to find a therapist
and work through a lot of my issues."
Oh, this is so hard for me to read
and think about our coworkers.
Because I think obviously for me from the outside,
it seems like everyone is so happy.
And you don't...
Like happy at their relationships,
because we're always talking about relationships and like
they're always talking about their significant others.
And it's hard to see that relationship
and then read something like this
and try to put two and two together.
'Cause I'm just thinking and I'm like,
I can't imagine anyone in our office
cheating on their partner
just 'cause they all seem like they're so in love.
And obviously that's my perspective, but.
(Kendra exhaling)
That's hard.
One person's not always
going to provide everything that you need.
And so it may be a moment of like
"Well, this person can provide what I need right now."
And maybe that was like, I don't know,
something like attention or something simple like that.
- "Plus size models annoy me.
Even though I appreciate representation,
I think that the vast majority of plus size models
do need to lose a little weight
and that our focus on loving ourselves
and our bodies have become somewhat of an excuse
for not taking control of our own health."
That's a hot take.
(Taylor laughing)
And I think there are a lot of people
that have this same opinion probably,
but feel like it is not a popular thing to say.
I definitely don't think
that everybody has the ability to change their body
the way they want.
It's just genetics sometimes.
It could go the opposite way too,
like some people just can't put on weight.
So I definitely don't think
you're always in control of that.
- "I don't have anybody in my life
I can 100% truly be myself with.
Every time I've tried, I've felt judged.
And it makes me sad I cope with it
by having different types of people in my life
that I reveal different parts of myself to."
I didn't write this, but this could have been me.
I feel like this is very relatable.
You know like how in movies
you have like your like best friend
that you're like friends with your whole life
or you have like the people that you grew up with?
I don't have that.
I feel like I just have like different pockets of friends
in different like areas of my life, like college friends,
and church friends, and like a few people I grew up with,
but I don't have like that one like really good best friend
that I could like share anything with.
- "I had an abortion in college and it saved my life.
It is not so much something I am ashamed of
more than it is something I just keep close to myself."
I'm glad that they're not ashamed of this experience.
I'm also glad that they decided to share this.
I don't see this as a secret for them.
I think it's just something that they choose to
share more carefully 'cause they say they're not ashamed.
- "When I was in middle school
I was sexually intimate with another family member
and I was the one who initiated it.
Since then, we have had a candid conversation
about the experience and I have gone to therapy,
but I don't think that the guilt
will ever stop eating away at me and how I view myself."
I know we all have our secrets
and the things that we've gone through,
but I don't think because we're coworkers,
we don't think of the depths of those secrets
and the things that we have gone through.
This is heavy.
Just the last line, them saying
"I don't think the guilt will ever stop eating away at me
and how I view myself."
That is a hard thing to let go of.
I do think time heals all
and I do think they need to give themselves more time.
And I'm hoping that they heal from this experience
sooner rather than later.
- "I'm afraid that I've lost my passion for life
in an apathetic way where I don't know what to feel anymore.
I feel like I'm just coasting by day to day.
I'm afraid that I'll never feel fully alive again
and this scares me.
I don't know what to do about it
and I don't know if I have the strength
to fight for anything different either.
I feel confused, like I don't know who I am
or what I want in my life."
If you had spoken to me about five or six years ago,
this would've been my secret.
And the reason is even in my journey with Jubilee,
I first started Jubilee project, which was a nonprofit,
and that was with some of my friends
and that became something I was really excited about
and proud of.
But after a couple of years, for various reasons,
they went into different things.
And then it was me by myself.
And I haven't really shared this, but for me,
it felt like I was the last person on a ship
that was sinking.
And I was really scared because it felt like "Wait a second.
Everyone else has given up on me and this idea
and I don't even know if I wanna be doing this."
And I think I felt really afraid.
And now when I look back many years later,
it was actually that time of darkness
was so, I don't wanna say important,
because it sucked so much and it was so painful,
but it was necessary for me to find
and strip away everything I cared about, whether it was,
you know, me doing with these friends
or me having this many followers,
like all those things didn't matter anymore to me.
And it really was this question of
why do you do what you do?
Like why are you here on earth?
This is a good time and space to look and ask for help.
Ask people to help you along your journey,
ask people to give you advice,
ask for people to give you ideas even.
And find ways to say yes.
Meaning you're not gonna find your passion in one day
or one month or even one year, I think.
But I think the way that you find your passion for life
is like by saying yes to little things.
And the things that give you gratification and joy,
you should say yes again to that.
And the things that don't, that's okay.
So we don't have to carry all those things,
just let's find a couple of things that
like as you flip over these stones
that are working, I guess, for you.
- I do think there's power in sharing.
Obviously, share with people that you're comfortable with,
share with people that you trust,
share with people that you love.
But I do see a power in being vulnerable.
Yeah.