In this video we're going to talk about the top 10 lies that addicts and
alcoholics tell themselves that keep themselves stuck. #1: okay, law number
one is.... "I'm only hurting myself ". Man this one drives me crazy. I bet it does you
too. I mean it's like .... I'm just hurting me. If you're telling
yourself that...... NOT TRUE! #2: Oh my gosh, I hear this one all the time.
"This is the only thing that fixes my depression and my anxiety", if
you're using drugs and alcohol to fix your depression anxiety, I guarantee you...
it's making it worse. NOT BETTER. Lie #3: This is a biggie. This one
is super duper or frustrating. They'll (the person struggling with addiction) say something like..... "you know I really
don't drink that much. I's just that my wife comes from an
alcoholic family and she's so overly sensitive about it.
She's just really uptight and worries about it entirely too much. So in lie #3, The person
uses some form of.... it's not me it's you. #4: I like this one.I get this one
a lot, because I work with a lot of really really successful addicts and
alcoholics. In fact, I see lots of businessmen who drink too much ,and this
is the one that the functional addict or alcoholic likes to tell themselves. This
is the fave for the functionals. Here it is.... "I do a lot around here, I deserve to get
to use, or relax, or have a few drinks, or smoke some weed or whatever. It's an
I deserve it., mentality. #5: is a biggie.
especially for parents (but really this one can go for anybody). Here goes:
"I'm still a good mother, brother, wife, father, cousin, student, employee, even
though I do this (drink or use drugs). But the truth is..... you might be pretty good at
fulfilling those roles in your life, but I guarantee you're not as good as you could be.
#6: I've already screwed it up I might as well keep going.
This is what I call "the F'it mentality". The most irrational of
the dang lies. It's like... what are you thinking? You know that
saying that people say sometimes. "If you're at bottom, the only place
to go is up"? Not true. Guess what????? Most people just skid along the bottom.
#7: Number 7 is another one of those that's really common.
Stage three addicts or alcoholic (if you don't know what that
means you probably want to check out my videos on the stages of addiction), but
essentially that's kind of like fancy clinical term for meaning functional
addict or alcoholic, so when these people (stage 3 addicts/alcoholics) come to treatment,
counseling, drug and alcohol rehab, or 12-step groups
here's what they like to say to themselves. 'I'm nog addict or an
alcoholic because I've never drank in the morning. I've never done heroin. I've
never stolen anything. I've never pawned my mother's wedding
ring". The person is trying to make a reason why they don't belong here (treatment, counseling, etc...)
Two days ago, I had this conversation with a guy in my office, I said "what
you're saying is essentially like saying, I only have stage two cancer, I'm all good.
I don't need to do anything. That's the most ridiculous thing.
#8: Those
doesn't know me (or have seen a few of my videos), y'all know how I feel about this
topic. So number eight is.... "you have to want it for yourself ". This is totally not true!
Being an addict or an alcoholic pretty much means that even though somethings
totally screwing up your life , you don't want to stop. So, waiting for an
addict or an alcoholic to want to stop is kind of silly.
It's irrational. It doesn't fit with what we know about what the word addict or
alcoholic means. Being an addict or alcoholic means they don't want to stop. Trust me, even the ones that
call my office, bring themselves to counseling (and pay for it themselves), don't
want to stop. Shat they don't want, is some negative consequence
in their life. Which is perfectly fine reason to get sober. I like to say.... "there is no bad reason to
get sober". I don't care if you're doing it because you don't want to go to
prison, if you're doing it because your mom was making you, if you're doing it
because you don't want to lose your kids, or your wife. All of those are great reasons to get sober.
#9: "I've already ruined all of my relationships" . This is similar to "the F'its".
But, this one is
more focused specifically on relationships. (ie: my girlfriend left me,
I lost my job, and now I'm just gonna keep on drinking and drinking and
drinking. It's victim thinking, and it is going to keep you stuck. #10: Number 10 isn't the last
last lie that addicts tell themselves, but is the last on this list.
# 10: "I would never let it (drug or alcohol use) go this far. "
(ie: I would never steal from my family, or I would never
beat my wife, or I would never do heroin.) It's these little
arbitrary lines in the sand. Most of the time, when people tell me
they would never do such and such...I usually, look them straight in the eye, and say
"But what about last week, when you told me that you did ____________". The person usually responds with something like...
"that doesn't really count." Then I say..." I'm pretty sure that counts.
When you took your kids medicine, that counts as stealing." Okay, that's my
list of the top ten lies that addicts and alcoholics tell themselves. This list is by no
means an exhaustive list. These are just the ones I hear pretty much
every day in my office. All of
those ten things are just ways that people let themselves off the hook for their behaviors and actions.
Whether they think...it's not that bad, or they think it's the worst ever,
ot they think they would never cross this line, or it's their family
not themselves.... These are all just ways of deflecting the responsibility and not
dealing with this problem. Addiction is not about drugs and alcohol, it is a
thinking issue. The question you should be asking yourself isn't '"do I
really want to stop?" Of course, you don't want to stop!
The question you should be asking yourself is... "Is this the person that I
want to be?" This is the right question because, it's making you become a person
that you don't want to be. A person you can't even recognize
anymore. So remember, it's NOT, Do I want to stop? It's..... is this the kind of
person that I want to be?
If you or a loved one has a drug or alcohol problem, and you don't want to
waste a lot of time and money doing all the wrong things, save yourself the
heartache, SUBSCRIBE to this channel and I'll make sure you're always 5 STEPS
AHEAD OF ADDICTION!