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Edgy DM Refuses To Let A Level 4 Party Have Character Sheets
Hi everyone.
All Things DnD is back with another story.
Not letting your players know what class they are playing may be one of the worst ideas
a DM has ever come up with.
But then again this DM is just full of bad ideas.
Tell us about your terrible DM experiences after listening to this:
This story takes place a few years back, around 2017 I want to say.
When I was still in highschool.
I was invited, along with a group of friends of mine, to a 5th Edition D&D group hosted
by a friend of ours.
Our group consisted of; Fighter, an Animal-Hybrid of sorts, the only
one in the party keeping us alive with prior game knowledge.
Warlock, a Yuan-Ti.
My boyfriend at the time.
Me, a Centaur Bard
And finally the problem, our party's DM
Now, I had known the DM for a few years up until that point.
She was a decent enough friend, a bit toxic at times(which will become all but apparent
soon enough), but overall we got along at the time.
First thing I should mention is that we were all new to D&D at the time.
Apart from the Fighter, none of us had ever played before.
Including the DM.
This being our first time playing, we all miss a bunch of huge red flags about the campaign.
First off, before we started the session, she told us not to make our own characters
as she had already written them."Alright," we thought, "most of us don't even know how
to build a character.
She must have done this to avoid a lot of confusion at the first session."
Oh, how wrong we were.
We all arrive at the session and she hands us BLANK character sheets.
We all kind of looked at each other, confused, and asked her if she'd given us the right
sheet.
She proudly stated, "Those are the correct character sheets, because you all have amnesia!"
She wanted us to figure out everything that was meant to be on our character sheet on
the fly.
Class, health, stats, spells, equipment.
Heck, we didn't even know what race we were.
In order to figure that out, we had to roll a Perception check.
We rolled low…
So for the entirety of the first session.
We had no idea what we were, who we were, or what we were meant to do.
All we knew was that one of us had 4 legs, one of us had no legs, one of us had fur,
and the last of us had scales.
But despite our low rolls, we did know one thing.
My character has huge breasts…
Yeah...
It was kind of an open secret that the DM was Bi.
And that's all well and good, but she tried to fetishize anything related to big chested
women and gay men.
Which did annoy me and Warlock, but we thought nothing of it at the time.
Roleplaying a female character seemed interesting at the time and I wanted to see where it would
go.
So, the entirety of the first session was spent surviving on an island we woke up on.
At a certain point, we decided to send half of the party to make camp and the other half
to find food.
(I know, dumb idea to split the party, but we didn't know any better).
So Fighter and I built camp and Paladin and Warlock went hunting.
This is really when the poop show started to rear its ugly head.
At a certain point, Paladin and Warlock stumbled upon a wild boar and decided to make that
dinner.
And honestly, a lot of it was purely due to bad rolls.
But they were losing... hard.
After 15 minutes of trying to hit this thing with weapons we didn't didn't understand how
to use, the DM stands up and angrily says, "You guys are level freaking 4!
How are you losing to a boar!?"
Fighter, who has played before, shot his eyes open in surprise.
The rest of us had no idea how bad this was for us.
Not only do we not know how anything works, we all already have our subclasses, feats,
etc.
And had no idea what any of them are or how they work.
Not to mention that 75% of the people at the table were spellcasters who didn't know that
they could cast spells.
It was a bad show all around.
After another few minutes the boar is dead and they return to the rest of us who have
made camp.
And that's where the first session ended.
Next week rolls around and we all took some time to learn more of the rules and realized
that we should probably at least know our stats so we can properly know what modifiers
to add to our weapons and ability checks.
So, we asked the DM.
To which she promptly said, "No.
It'll break the immersion of my story."
Great…
Apart from the fact that we couldn't honestly know what we rolled, the session was going
overall pretty well.
Until near the end.
We were walking through a pathway in the forest when we were suddenly attacked by 2 Medusas.
Fighter's eyes shot open again, "Seriously?" he asked.
"Yeah, but don't worry."
the DM stated, "You'll be fine."
So, the fight starts and we're getting creamed.
Surprisingly, we dodge the multiple Petrifying Gaze long enough to get some hits in.
But, due to there being 3 Spellcasters not casting spells, we weren't doing much damage.
At some point, the DM noticed and was getting frustrated at us.
"Why aren't y'all doing anything?" the DM asked.
"What do you mean, we're attacking as best we can."
"Y'all are level 4, you can obviously deal more damage than just hitting them wildly."
It was at this point that I noticed the Fighter getting annoyed.
"Yeah, no crap.
But we don't know what we can do, so how do we do anything other than that."
The DM started getting really mad as well.
"Well it would break the immersion if I just told you!"
She shouted.
After a few minutes of arguing between those two, she finally goes, "Fine, you know what!
A meteor falls on top of one of the Medusas!
There, happy?!"
We were kind of at a loss for words.
We tried to calm them down and eventually got them to settle.
The game continued and we managed to kill the Medusas.
(Luck was on our side I guess) Afterwards we stopped to try and lick our
wounds.
Before we got the chance to take a short rest, we were immediately attacked by a Marilith.
A freaking Marilith.
Suffice it to say, we got knocked down before the end of the initiative.
We wake up in a cell with a couple of guards watching us.
Session two ends.
So, at this point the DM, while not being a good DM, hasn't done anything super red
flaggy up until this point.
But oh boy, this is where the story goes from bad to worse.
The session starts and we're in prison.
we're slowly getting our bearings and trying to talk to the guards.
No response.
So I try to persuade them to let us out.
(I still don't know that I'm a Bard) Nat 20.
The DM looks at me and sneers.
She describes, "Despite your attempts to speak with the guards, they ignore you.
You become so frustrated that you flash them in an attempt to seduce them."
"What?
I-" I asked before being interrupted.
"Before anyone can react, you feel a smack to your face as the only female guard stares
at you angrily."
She then begins chastising me in character about being a slut.
I'm in complete shock, "I just wanted to talk to them."
I protested.
"Well, you already flashed them, can't go back now."
She continues to yell at me and at some point goes, "Wait, Valis?"
Yeah, turns out this NPC was an old ally of our group and slowly became the bane of our
campaign.
After 2 full sessions we finally were handed our proper character sheets and finally figured
out exactly how stupid we must have looked during our fights.
We learned that we were mercenaries of sorts for an Empire that we never got to see.
(The campaign fell apart before we could).
This NPC immediately joined our group and became that kind of DMPC.
She was a beautiful Bloodhunter Dark Elf that everyone else throws themselves over.
A.K.A. the DM's Mary Sue.
And boy was it just as much fun as it sounds.
Every interaction from this point on turns into the DMPC talking to the NPCs by herself
and pushing us out of every social interaction.
After about half an hour of this happening, we slowly started to check out.
And the more we do, the angrier the DM gets.
At a certain point we have to head into a cave for some reason that I honestly can't
remember.
After a bit of walking through an empty cavern she says, "Before you realize what's going
on, three, four headed Hydras start to approach and attack.
The Fighter shoots up and shouts, "Wait!
What?!
Are you trying to kill us?!"
"Well," the DM explains, "if you had been paying attention you would have noticed them
and could sneak around them.
But since you weren't, it's a fight."
"Nah."
Warlock pipes up, "That's pretty stupid."
"Yeah, there's no way we wouldn't have noticed 3 giant Hydras in the middle of an empty cavern."
After a couple of minutes of intense arguing, I asked Warlock to take me home, as I didn't
want to just sit here and argue and we left.
After that night, I didn't have another session with that DM due to some stuff in my personal
life.
But, I did invite some of the other players to join a campaign I started DMing.
And we've been playing happily ever since.
I’m going to have to disagree with the “hasn’t done anything super red flaggy” statement.
A blank character sheet and amnesia are pretty huge red flags.
That coupled with being cringey and gross really seals the deal.
Please let us know what you think and what you would have done.
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