Hi there, it's Clay with modernlove.life and this is Relationship Inner Game.
Now in this video, we're going to continue on our journey through the things that people
often think are very important to pay attention to or to keep in mind when it comes to getting
back together with their ex that actually aren't so important.
Today we're going to be talking about how to retract your ex or basically if your ex
puts you in the friend zone, okay?
Now, oftentimes people will really worry and really start to think about how is it that
I can retract my ex or they might even be afraid that they're actually going to put
them in the friend zone or uh, you know, just basically turn them into some like platonic
friend that they sip lattes with and get together as they, as they gush about the new person
that they're dating all well, you feel like some sort of unit or something like that with
no romantic char whatsoever.
And I want you to know that unless your ex is a total asshole, that's probably not gonna
happen.
Okay, well let's go ahead and talk a little bit first before we get into the friend zone
about the myth of retracting your ex.
So the truth is that you probably don't need to retract your ex unless you have gone through
some sort of massive physical change of some sort, you know, gained or lost a significant
amount of weight or been in some sort of horrible accident with a throttling wood chipper or
something like that, or unless you've gone through some sort of very substantial personality
break where maybe you lead your ex to believe, hey, I'm like a totally normal person, but
then they later found out that you have like maybe a secret family that they didn't know
about or I don't know, something like that.
And unless something like that is in place, you do not need to worry about retracting
your ex.
Your ex has already decided that you, yes, you watching this video are an attractive,
sexy and very desirable person.
Okay?
And there's not much else you can do to change their mind short of being disfigured or having
a personality break.
So don't worry about that.
We'll see what happens is people, once they start to feel attracted to someone else, that
attraction is kind of locked into place.
It's, it's really locked into place and you can't really do much to, to kind of flip the
switch in their mind and say, okay, that person is not attractive anymore unless you, again,
physically change in some very dramatic way.
I'm not talking about gaining or losing five pounds here, okay.
Or unless you revealed that you know the person that you presented is actually not the person
that you actually are.
So don't think that you need to retract your ex.
Your ex is already locked in and attracted to you.
Now you might be thinking, well, okay clay, my ex even told me that they aren't attracted
to me anymore.
What's your response to that, Mr. Smarty Pants?
And here's what I have to say to that.
Your ex is attracted to you.
It's that there's all of these negative emotions, all of these baggage, this history that the
two of you share together because you were in a relationship and this has caused bad
feelings to build up between the two of you, right?
So you know, if you are an attractive person that your ex found attractive, they liked
your personality and all that, but then that maybe they found out that you cheated on him
or maybe the two of you just argued so much that the negative feelings just kind of got
blocked or whatever.
Then then what essentially is happening is there's something blocking those positive
feelings of attraction from running their course and bringing the two of you together.
And that is the negative emotions, right?
You know, if you were to think back to maybe somebody that you dated a long time ago, maybe
in high school or something, you, you'd probably think that that person is attractive.
If you just saw their photo or if you remembered them from a long time ago or something like
that, you'd probably say, yeah, that was an attractive person.
And the reason that you might not want to be in relationship with that person anymore,
depending on you know, what your history with them made event is probably because of what
happened, what they said, what they did right?
You suddenly realized, oh well they just did the thing and they kinda pissed me off, and
so we broke up, or something like that.
And so it's not so much the person loses attractiveness or that the person who loses attraction for
you so that that attraction is being blocked by history, by bad emotions, by experiences
that you have together by baggage.
And so it doesn't matter how much you focus on trying to retract your ex, it's still going
to be blocked by whatever is currently blocking it.
You know it, it, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter if you turn on the attraction up to like 11.
On a scale of one to 10, it's still going to be locked.
So what you have to do before the attraction is ever going to be felt by your ex is to
remove the block.
Remove the block.
That is the negative feelings and the way that you do that.
As you build positive emotions and have a positive emotional connection with your ex,
now you realize that this also ties in with the whole idea of the friend zone.
Now, just like I said, if your ex inherently finds you attractive, you are probably not
in the friend zone and the friend zone doesn't really exist when it comes to a people that
have been in a relationship together and then you broke up for any number of reasons.
Now the friend zone absolutely does exist if you were never in a relationship with somebody,
right?
If you were just crushing on this girl or this guy over here and the two of you never
dated, never learn in relationship with each other, you know?
Yeah.
That person might put you in the friend frenzy.
That's a topic for an entirely different video, but if you were in a relationship with that
person, that person hasn't put you in the friend zone, right?
It's just, it's just they still feel that attraction for you.
Like I was telling you before, but it's just being blocked by what happened when the two
of you were in a relationship by what you said or what you did or something like that.
Okay?
So what you need to do is not worry about the friend zone.
You're not in the friend zone.
Okay?
What you need to do is to remove that baggage, remove that block, remove what is stopping
the attraction that already exists between the two of you, from bringing the two of you
together and forming a relationship, which is what attraction naturally does anyway.
So how do you do that?
You focus on the quality of the connection between you and your ex.
You focus on building high quality interactions between each other so that you can come together
again so that you can feel that attraction again so you can feel emotionally close again.
And when that happens, the two of you are going to get back together.
So don't worry about attraction.
Don't worry about trying to seduce your ex.
Don't worry about making sure that they think that you're a hot babe or a hot honk or anything
like that.
Just focus on having high quality, high emotional interactions with one another.
That'll bring the two of you back together.
Okay, so how do you do that?
Now, if you're watching this video over on our website modern love.life, head down below
and click on the link down there that'll take you to a page and it'll tell you exactly how
you can build high quality interactions and a high quality emotional connection with your
ex.
Go ahead and click down there.
If you're watching this video over on Youtube, go ahead and click down in the description
below this video.
There's a link that'll take you to the website relationshipinnergame.com.
You can basically fill out a short, painless, like 32-second questionnaire, just basically
asking you a little bit about your history with your ex and what you're looking to achieve
and all of that stuff and we will start to send you some tips, advice, and strategies
that will really help you to build the quality connection between you and your ex.
But either way, whatever your situation is, whether you're on modernlove.life or whether
you're on youtube, just head down below and click and you will be taken to the next thing
that will help you to build a high quality emotional connection with your ex.
So I hope this has helped you out.
I hope this has shown you that the friend zone or retracting your ex is not something
that you need to worry about.
And instead you need to have high quality interactions with your ex that will build
that foundation of positive interactions and bring the two of you closer together.
Again.
So if you're on youtube and you've liked this video, give it a like.
Leave a comment down below letting me know what kind of video you would like to see me
make moving forward, and please go ahead and subscribe to this channel anyway.
Once again, this has been clay with modernlove.life.
This has been Relationship Inner Game and I will see you next time.
Take care.