hey it's Stephan Erdman here from authenticgame.com in this video I'm
going to be delving into the reasons why men often find themselves running out of things to
say when talking to an attractive woman and also in this video I'm going to share some
powerful strategies to help you stop running out of things to say in the first place when
talking to a girl truth is fear of running out of things to say is probably the biggest problem
already but here's why guys find it difficult to be level-headed about a topic like this
reason number one nervousness and performance anxiety this is one of the primary reasons why
basically men are afraid of running other things to say when we're attracted to somebody and we're
slipping into this slight neediness territory which can happen the pressure to impress really
can Skyrocket causing our minds to go blank and our tongues to tie themselves into knots another
common factor is really the fear of rejection and judgment we worry that we say something wrong or
boring that the woman might lose interest in us or think less of us this fear alone
can create a self-imposed pressure to come up with the perfect thing to say all the time leading to
mental blocks and running out of conversational fuel and the third reason literally is lack
of practice and experience guys it's simple conversation skills are just like any other skill
they require practice and experience to develop and improve and you need to understand what you're
doing if you haven't been actively engaging in conversations particularly with attractive women
it's natural to feel Rusty or uncertain about what to say it's a bit like trying to ride a bike after
years of not doing so your balance feels off and you probably struggle to find your Rhythm now that
we've identified the key challenges it's time to equip you with some practical tips and exercises
to overcome these obstacles and become someone that could actually have a good time talking
to women because you're so good at it okay tip number one stop censoring yourself I also call
this thinking out loud maybe you've heard me say this before look one of the reasons men
often run other things to say is because they censor themselves deep inside they think they
are somehow not good enough they have to act more intelligent more cool than they actually are and
that's why they think too much about what to say to sound cool or intelligent there's obviously a
self-esteem issue there you know you really want to feel more than good enough for a girl to be
attracted to you that you're with right but for now here's an exercise that you could use every
day for five minutes a day at home or anywhere talk out loud without stopping doesn't matter
what you say the only thing that matters is that you keep going without stopping for five minutes
it really helps to start with focusing on what you see what you hear what you smell what you
taste stuff like that and describe that trust me if you actually do this once a day you get
used to thinking out loud which is such a key concept and I can't stress this often enough
and you'll become much more fluent speaking out loud what comes into your mind tip number two is
Master the art of active listening now when you're too focused on what to say next you miss out on
valuable opportunities to keep the conversation flowing that's where active listening comes in
practice active listening by fully engaging with what she's saying so that means eye contact listen
to the word she's using there may be some words that are sticking out pick up on those and refer
to them when you respond you can respond with a question over the related statement or with
something that's maybe a little bit more teasing or whatever but in practice you want to focus on
what she's saying and really stick with listening to her and what she is saying rather than thinking
about what you're going to see next yeah which is the biggest problem that guys usually have
thinking oh I have to think about what I want to see next in the process they don't hear what
she's actually saying the best internal propped for your brain here is what's interesting about
this that question makes you naturally curious and makes you listen a lot better there's a lot
more to be said about active listening but just get my program for that literally that's what
it's there for and a lot of other stuff tip number three learn improvisation okay so the
best conversations are the ones that are really unplanned and spontaneous especially when you're
on a date not when you're in a presentation at work but to become a master of improvisation you
really need to trust your instincts and go with the flow and what you really need to understand
is a conversation happens between two people so anything she says is material for you to rip off
it's a bit like jamming in a band or playing jazz one instrument plays a solo and then the
other one picks it up and builds on it okay it's so crucial as a concept please bear this in mind
so I will give you an exercise but it's more of an assignment if you're really serious about becoming
better at improvisation then join an improv comedy group what you'll do there will be setting you up
to get really confident just literally building on what people are saying it's one of the best
ways to practice this because literally one of the biggest rules in improv comedy is yes and
you are never allowed to deny or ignore what the other person is saying you have to build on what
the person next to you is saying in order to create a scene it's also a lot of fun and it
will teach you you know to overcome your fears basically around conversation I've given you
some really powerful exercises and an assignment to improve your fluency and to never run other
things to say when you talk to a girl and if you really want to take your conversational
skills to the next level be sure to check out my program pimpyolingo 2.0 it's going to help
you with this and so many other things in the mean time thanks for being here subscribe if
you haven't already and leave your questions and comments here in the comment section see you soon