[Music]
all right I'm hey see hey son Matthew
it's not really near that it's like an
hour away from yeah yeah yeah yeah okay
the axon now so what'd you do friendly
bit am I gonna feel our care oh one
came one to the town went mad yeah I
want to see my first instinct when I go
into a day is there gonna be like if you
don't like mine when I break everything
I always expected like you is expected
to like Oh we'll see tonight appearance
after this argument they came up to me
like two weeks after we break up and he
was like I'm gonna become all alone and
it was I what
I know it was fight so shocking before
you told me that was always that hope
that I'd get back with him I was like
okay that's just never gonna happen now
[Music]
that's amazing but this time it was like
oh my god no one cares like the past bit
so I don't give a
the exit is like ship to the side like
in a way it's like why should they care
about how I feel because I'm not the
person gave me this massive change like
I never quite experienced something like
that my life on the other had I knew did
someone say like oh I don't think I've
ever had anyone ask me how I felt about
it actually don't know I think that's
what got me emotional
and once we looked after love it's
really easy to go no no no I've not know
I think like when you look back I
thought about 18 or so yeah and I
believed it was a relationship and said
okay I'm not going but you don't want to
believe that yeah because you want to be
with them so you sort of just blur that
out and you just sort of want to see
what you want to say I really liked him
I was a pitch nurse to Gavin and I
thought we as gay is get it all come to
turn straight or come to terms but you
know we can work this out and in the end
of that no I'm not going this was a
mistake and I've got a girlfriend but
him it was nothing it was just an
experiment whatever you want to call it
but for me because I knew who I was I
knew I was gay than me it was a
relationship and for me it's hard to see
that person in a relationship and I'm
like oh horrible I want to be like
getting married having kids having a
house having this sort of like family
environment hopefully I'll meet somebody
that gets that and somebody that wants
the same thing which would be amazing I
think a lot of people meet me and go oh
he's really confident he's really
they're suspending that but nobody sees
that oversized butt
I've seen both sides of yeah you're
lying amazing by chatting you were
heartbreak and that's okay to say you're
loud a lot
you