- That is a striking resemblance between
Larry King and Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
(whimsical music)
Hey Legal Eagles, it's time to think like a lawyer.
Today I am outside of the Eagle's Lair
doing a live video from VidCon, although,
by the time that you watch this it probably won't be live,
it'll be long after VidCon.
I asked you guys to help out and send in some legal memes
that I can comment and respond to
and you guys did not disappoint.
We got some great legal memes to talk about today, so,
it's time for our very own
(drum break plays)
Meme Review!
Meme Review® Trademark of PewDiePie, All Rights Reserved.
All right, so, let's dig into our very first
Legal Meme Review on this channel.
(drum break plays)
All right, would the defendant tell the court exactly
what kind of whale are you?
Well, I'm, uh, objection!
Oh my god.
It's a dolphin defending a killer whale
but the prosecutor is a seal
because killer whales kill seals.
Aww. That's kind of sad, but also hilarious.
You know, you gotta be careful,
sometimes even things like names
can be more prejudicial than probative
and they are not allowable in court.
(drum break plays)
How you feel when the jury laughs at your joke.
(laughing)
And, it's Joe Pesci,
not wearing an Indochino suit, by the way.
So, you always wanna build up a rapport with the jury,
and when you have a joke that lands with the jury,
or the judge, it is a really, really great feeling,
although, it is in contrast to when the judge
makes a joke in court.
You're basically obligated to laugh
whether the joke is funny or not,
and all Federal Court Judges think that
they are just absolutely the funniest people on the planet.
(drum break plays)
I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison.
Me: Whispers to my lawyer.
My client has requested you add one more year.
Nice.
(drum break plays)
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny.
Judge: What?
Lawyer: He's in a cent.
Judge: You're going to jail with him.
Yeah, well that's what happens when you make a joke
and the judge doesn't laugh.
(drum break plays)
Defense lawyer, attack lawyer.
I place one lawyer face down and end my turn, your witness.
That's gotta be a board game or something.
I'm sad that I don't recognize it,
I feel like I'm pretty well versed in board games.
Is that a Dungeons & Dragons thing?
Let me know in the comments!
(drum break plays)
When the partner tells you
to hurry up and finish that assignment.
Oh my god, that hits so close to home.
Sometimes you have a deadline, and,
you just can't spend hours and hours
working on a beautiful, finished, masterpiece of a brief,
and sometimes a managing partner comes in and tells you
that you have exhausted all of your time,
and you just have to get it done,
and that basically turns and amazing legal brief
into converting a picture of a cheetah
into the mascot for Cheetohs®.
But, sometimes getting it done is more important
than getting it perfect.
(drum break plays)
According to multiple sources,
Ruth Bader Ginsberg died six months ago,
and Larry King has been standing in for her ever since.
No!
Ah, that is not cool, but that is a striking resemblance
between Larry King and Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
That being said, everyone knows Ruth Bader Ginsberg
is never going to die.
She has an exercise routine
that would run circles around Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- I don't think Paul Ryan could do this.
- This is totally inaccurate.
RBG is gonna live forever.
(drum break plays)
Lionel Hutz, Esquire!
Works on contingency, question mark,
no money down, oh my god.
This is one of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons.
I don't know if the joke comes through in text like this,
but I think this is the episode where Lionel Hutz represents
Bart against the people that make Itchy & Scratchy,
they bring in an ad and it says
Lionel Hutz, works on contingency, no money down.
Lionel Hutz looks at it and says.
- Oh, they got this all screwed up.
- It's actually works on contingency, question mark,
no, money down!
- [Lionel Hutz] No. Money down!
- I have to do a reaction to Lionel Hutz at some point.
He is such an amazing, ridiculous character,
and, RIP Phil Hartman,
one of the best cartoon voices of all time.
(drum break plays)
Sending emails to opposing counsel.
Thinking about the email I sent to opposing counsel.
Oh, no!
This one hits really close to home.
As a lawyer you're constantly sending
emails to opposing counsel, and, we call them nastygrams,
because they are very sternly worded.
They're trying to get opposing counsel
to do something that they don't wanna do,
and you are negotiating on behalf of your client,
so you have to put usually an aggressive stance forward.
So, it's like, you know, granny holding a gun here.
But then the minute that you
send that email to opposing counsel
and you're thinking about it,
you're probably gonna go into your sent folder,
you're gonna open up that email,
and you're gonna check to see if there were any typos
or you said something stupid or, you left a word out.
It's just like this.
It will cause an asthma attack or panic attack
in so many different lawyers thinking about
the email that they sent,
as opposed to the email that they intended to send.
That is definitely
one of the harder parts of being a lawyer, is stressing out
over the stuff that you sent to opposing counsel.
I feel it. I feel that.
(drum break plays)
Approaching the jury without permission be like.
(laughing)
Yeah. Yeah.
The bailiff will tackle you if you get too aggressive,
just like Jason Mamoa is doing with Henry Cavill here.
(drum break plays)
Lawyer: May I approach the bench?
Judge: You may.
Lawyer:
(walks up and whispers)
That other guy's being like, super mean right now.
(laughing)
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, we tend to be a little mean sometimes,
and I can't tell you the number of times
I have litigated against, I mean, I'll say it.
(bleep plays)
They really just shoot themselves in the foot,
because either the judge or the jury
doesn't like putting up with their crap.
I understand the sentiment
when the other side is being mean, and you know,
you just want what's best for your client.
(drum break plays)
All right.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?
Me: No.
Judge:
(covers mic)
What do I do?
(laughing)
I have never seen that happen in court.
It certainly would not help your case
if you are trying to get people to believe your testimony.
(drum break plays)
Kanye's ready to teach 1L contracts.
Kanye West: We need consideration.
(laughing)
Oh my god.
Okay, this might take a second.
This is a fantastic 1L contracts joke.
So, there's a standard concept in contracts that says
you have to have consideration for a valid contract.
Consideration is just some thing of value
that is exchanged between parties.
Really what it's done is to prevent people
from having what is called a gratuitous contract,
where you write down a contract, but,
it's only the one side doing something
and the other side isn't getting anything as a result.
So, the famous example is an uncle who
tried to contract with his nephew to go to college,
and the uncle isn't necessarily
getting anything out of that,
but the law doesn't wanna have enforceable contracts where
both sides don't get something out of it
and that thing is called consideration.
So, the fact that Kanye is saying "We need consideration."
and this person is saying that Kanye
is ready to teach 1L contracts is so funny.
(drum break plays)
Me as a lawyer: Your honor, when does
the Law & Order theme song play,
or do we have to hum it ourselves?
(laughing)
Oh, god, I love Law & Order.
Sadly, it does not play
when you walk into a courtroom dramatically.
When I was a kid, my parents had a strict limit
on how much regular TV I could watch,
I could only watch 30 minutes or an hour of TV a day,
but there was no limit
to how much educational TV I could watch,
and I convinced them that since
I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up,
that I should be able to watch Law & Order the series
because that would be educational TV.
I think I won that argument and I was allowed to watch
reruns of Law & Order on TNT
for basically as long as I wanted.
That, my friends, is some good lawyering right there.
(Law & Order Theme Song plays)
Dun dun, da na na na da!
Bow wow bow ma mow ma mow mow mow.
Okay.
(drum break plays)
Here we have a Spongebob meme.
Isn't this a material fact?
Judge: Yup.
And the parties dispute this material fact.
Judge: Yup.
The parties disagree about the material fact,
therefore this issue should be decided
by the trier of fact instead of the judge.
Judge: That makes sense to me.
So, let's go to trial.
Motion for summary judgment granted.
This may not make sense to everyone, but,
this is absolutely fantastic.
A summary judgment motion is basically a trial on paper.
You submit your best arguments
and the other side submits their best arguments, and,
the thing about a summary judgment motion is
that the factual basis must be uncontested by both sides.
So, if there is an issue of material fact
that both sides disagree about
you can't grant summary judgment and it has to go to trial.
That is great when you are a defense lawyer
like I tend to be, but, you know,
I've been on the other side of that as well,
on the plaintiff's side, and it sucks
when the judge grants summary judgment against you.
(drum break plays)
Imagine spending seven years in college to become a lawyer
and your client shows up to court like this.
(laughing)
I remember this, this wasn't actually that long ago.
This is Takeshi6969, and he showed up to court,
and I think he was convicted of a gun related charge,
and I think he got substantial jail time.
Yeah, you can't show up to court like this.
Now, obviously, you're gonna swim upstream
when your face is covered with tattoos,
that is definitely not going to put your best face forward.
(rimshot plays)
Ba-dum, ching!
Yeah, you can't show up with a ridiculous tie like that
with your shirt completely untucked.
Now, obviously, when you go to court,
you have to wear a suit, but I'm not always in court,
as evidenced by this actual video,
and when I'm not I love to wear things
like what I'm wearing right now,
which is a polo from Mack Weldon.
It's hard to explain how soft and light this polo is.
I absolutely love it, and I'm thrilled
that Mack Weldon is now a sponsor.
I'm also wearing their world famous boxer briefs right now,
but I can't, obviously, show that to you.
Well, unless, hold on.
(grunts and strains)
Ah, these are their famous boxer briefs,
incredibly comfortable, super soft.
I really like the pattern on them as well.
Here's a picture of me wearing them.
This is definitely me wearing them, obviously.
I don't know why the camera cut my head off there.
But, I've been thrilled with the Mack Weldon
shirts, shorts, and underwear that I purchased from them,
and I've been putting it through the ringer,
including playing multiple hours of tennis
in all of the clothing and it has held up beautifully,
and has stayed unbelievably comfortable.
Mack Weldon is a men's essential clothing brand
that focuses on smart design and premium fabrics.
The smart design goes beyond just the clothing itself,
it goes into the website.
When I had to order this polo with my own money,
I had to get it shipped, expedited,
to arrive here in time for VidCon,
and the process was incredibly simple.
I ordered multiple sizes, I had it shipped overnight,
I tried on the clothes, I kept the ones that fit
and I sent back the ones that didn't
using the included return shipping label,
and it was a wonderful experience.
Mack Weldon says that their stuff
is the most comfortable underwear, socks,
and other clothing that you will ever wear,
and I think that is totally reasonable.
So, if you would like 20% off your first purchase
from Mack Weldon, just go to MackWeldon.com
or use the promo code leaglaeagle at checkout.
Again, so, for 20% off of your first purchase
from Mack Weldon, go to MackWeldon.com,
and if you order a pair of their famous boxer briefs
and you don't like it for any reason,
you can keep it and they will still
give you a refund without sending it back,
because who wants to get used underwear?
(dog yipping)
So, do you agree with my reviews of these legal memes?
Leave your objections in the comments,
and of course, check out this playlist over here,
where I have all of my other legal reactions
including reactions to lawyer jokes,
movies, television shows, you name it.
So, click on the link and I will see you in court.