Man! I'm hungry!
NGH!
This banana can get used to being held by you...
Me?! Really?
*dancing like a dork*
*jolly happy dance*
How appealing is your personality, really?
You may think that you're the cream of the crop, the life of the party,
the life and soul of everybody else around you, but how appealing are you really?
Don't worry, we're gonna find out here today 'cause we are playing,
"Appeeling Personality".
It's a Super Duper Eating Contest, but it's got some rules okay?
We got the Ten Commandments of the personality test.
Lesson number 'a': "Contestants must be 18 years of age or older to enter."
Wait like physically or mentally? 'Cause I might be in trouble.
Number 2: "Only 25 people are allowed to enter."
Damn. I can't enter because I'm here with all my friends. *Motions towards nonexistent friends*
Shit.
"Only entire bananas will be counted." You hear that?
Only entire bananas not whole- not little itty bitty pieces of bananas.
Whole bananas are the only ones that count. Yes, I mean you.
"No one must touch the bananas before the start signal." DAMN IT I ALREADY FAILED!
"Half eaten bananas will not be counted." Well, do you really need number 5 if you have number 3?
I don't think you do.
"When the time limit is up you must put everything down." That's not just the bananas, that means EVERYTHING.
You gotta put down what you're doing. You gotta put down your goals and aspirations.
You gotta put down your job. You gotta put down everything, okay?
None of your plans that you have for the future are allowed to stay after the time is up.
"Visible signs of sickness will get you disqualified." Woah, but I'm just gonna be so sick at this.
Also, you said that I have to put everything down and then you said something about sickness.
So... you making a 'Disturbed' reference? *Down with the Sickness intensifies*
"Ties will be decided in a one-versus-one eat-off." I really wish that that's how you have to buy ties at a show- uh- at a shop. At a shore.
"Contestants will be allowed to drink water during eating." Well, how about a beer?
*coughs* Does that count?
"Waver must be signed before the competition." *looks off camera*
That guy over there is waving, do I have to sign him?
ALRIGHT, LET'S START!
I haven't even eaten for 4 days, it's time to start eating some bananas. Here we go!
Can I peel them, or do I just eat them raw?
Just eat them raw. The way I eat ass.
Wait, my time keeps going back up.
Oh God, he has a face!
I'm so honored by those fingers oh God yes.
Oh you're holding me. Your touch... it's intoxicating. The way your fingers caress my peel... You're a pro at holding bananas.
This is getting a little sexual, Mr. Banana.
I don't mind being held so gently. But, truth be told... I wouldn't mind being held a little tighter.
Oh God! Stop it please!
Just sitting here shaking my banana all over the place, and you're liking it!
This is weird! Now I know why you had to sign a waver!
Just like that! Ugghh
That's perfect! You are so good at this!
You are definitely pro...I knew it.
Oh
Mr.Banana
How you sing to me
Your voice
How you smell
A little like nothing but...*smells banana again*
mmmm
Straight from the Babylonian Mountains
This banana could get used to being held by you...
some more.
Do you take the plunge?
Will you be the 5 to my jakita
*sniffs the banana*
Mr.banana
How I hold you so tenderly
BUT you kinda came along a little strong so...
NOPE
This is fun!
Oh lord, look at this one.
Are you serious?
So... uh.
This is the absolute worst
I can't believe this is happening to me.
Can you just put me down?
I'm not in the mood to deal-
Okay, fine I'll put you down.
I'll put you down like a dog that got hit by a car.
No! Not me! This isn't fair!
Eat anyone but me!
I'm so close to completing my plan.
I want to do so much. I'm destined for more!
I hold more power in my malevolent peel than you do in your body.
Well that's just rude okay?
I'm out here trying to have a good time and your out here attacking my sense of being.
FUCK YOU, DUDE!
Imma get some straight potassium outta that guy.
Who else?
WELL AREN'T YOU JUST A CAPTIVATING BEING?
HOW LUCKY AM I?
CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE AS HANDSOME AS-
I CAN'T EVEN READ THAT FAST!
STOP TALKING SO QUICKLY.
I didn't even know bananas could talk five minutes ago
And all of a sudden they're talkin' too quickly.
I'VE BEEN IN A BUNCH FOR SO LONG-
YOUR EYES ARE MAGNIFICENT, MORE STUNNING THAN THE STARRY SKY
*Blushes*
Do go on, Mr. Banana
Your nose, more pleasing to the eye-
Yes, I will even compliment your nose, it's always an overlooked feature.
TELL ME ABOUT IT!
I go up to SO MANY people, I'm like:
"Wow, great weather we're having today, your nose looks terrific!"
And they look at me like I have seven heads
W-Why is it so wrong to compliment someone's nose?
You have a perfectly lovely nose
But let me tell you what else you have that is lovely...
Your peel...
Is so appealing
Your rind... is so rumptious
Your texture, it reminds me of an avocado...
And I fucking love avocados
Okay, Mr. Man, you're getting a little shaky for my liking.
Okay, how am I supposed to eat the banana?
If I can't even hold onto the banana?
*struggles* J-Jesus Christ!
*thud*
So about our fight, okay?
Our first fight as a couple...
What are we gonna do about it?
I think we're gonna have to kiss and make up.
NAH, OR I COULD JUST EAT YOU!
*starts dancing again*
*innocent smiles*
*smile fades*
*flustered* What do I say, what do I say?
I-I think you're really s-stunning? Oh god, that's terrible, hold on.
Give me a second. *stammers*
A-Are you- w-wait, wait w-wait!
A-Are you T-Tennessee? B-Because you-re a- you're the only t-ten I see
Oh, Jesus! Fuck!
P-Pick up lines, Pick up lines!
Uhm, I'm sorry! D-Did you sit in some sugar?
'Cause damn your ass is sweet!
Ahh! Crap, that's a bit too strong!
Uhm! D-Did is---Did you fall from heaven?
'Cause you're an Angel!
That's so stupid! Why did I say that?
Uh, Uhm! I'm really sorry! I've just turned into banana mush.
I swear, I'm better than this! I'm usually rock solid!
Uhm! S-S-Someone would say that I'm not ripe!
I-If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years--
A-Ah, shit! Uh, I can't even read that fast!
What else I'm going to say?
I-I didn't even stutter! Um, Okay! I'm sorry!
I-I'm really bad at this! U-Uhm!
I-I think your really cool! And uh I want to impress you!
I just hope this lame pick up uh---uhm
I-I mean did it work?
M-Maybe you could just tell me...
Uh--I m-mean! If nothing last forever, will be my nothing?
*looks lovingly at the camera*
That's lovely! *smiles sweetly*
T-That's the sweetest any--sweetest thing anybody could ever said to me!
Uh, I mean!
I've always knew myself that
I was nothing!
But to have you say it, Mr. Banana!
No!
Shh!
No more words!
Tonight would become more....
than just...
fruit and man!
Tonight, We'll become
one~
He's a charmer~
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SAY YES!
TO MY FIVE KING <3!
"Your honoured presence is requested for the marriage of---
Hand and
Banana <3"
Together they would be known as---
"Handanana"
It's beautiful~
What's that Mr. Banana?
The "Jacksepticeye How Did We Get Here"
Liveshow Tour?
That's right, Mr. Banana!
On the 28th of May
We're doing two shows in Toronto, Canada!
On the 29th of May
We're doing a show on Detroit, Michigan!
W-What's that, Mr. Banana?
Ring Ring Banana Phone?
Haha! That's right!
On the 30th of May
We're doing two shows in Indianapolis!
On the 1st of June
We're heading to St. Louis!
and then on the 2nd of June
We're heading to Iowa City!
Don't think about how I said just June just now!
On the 3rd of June
We're heading to Nashville!
Mr. Banana!
Yes and In fact!
On the 5th of June
We are heading to Lincoln, Nebraska!
and then
on the 6th of June
Mr. Banana
We're heading to Kansas City!
Banana!
Oh, well!
*Jack's "I'm Everywhere" outro plays*