[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you may not know this
but i'm a cop
no not an undercover cop because if i
was undercover i'd let you know
no i probably wouldn't i knew ever since
i was a kid i wanted to be a cop
it was my dream it's all i wanted to do
i was so convinced they could help
people make a difference in the world
but i was pretty naive as a cop or as a
kid i was pretty naive
i thought being a cop was as simple as
you arrest a bad guy you take him to
jail
and all the good people will be okay
again i was pretty childish as a cop as
a kid too because
i thought that i was batman that was
only when i was a kid i don't believe
that okay just
so you know not only do i believe on
batman
i know i'm batman
i have been practicing that voice for
years do you know how bad i wanted to
say that in the public
best day ever i fulfilled my dream of
becoming a full-time police officer on
march 1
1993 when i walked through the front
door of the newtown police department
and as i stepped into the foyer i was
overwhelmed by this feeling
it actually stopped me i couldn't move
and i heard this voice say
this is where you will change the world
of course the voice doesn't tell you how
or when that will happen
i didn't find out until 21 years later
after seeing an
entire family an entire generation
die from drugs a mother
she abused prescription pills and
alcohol she had three sons
the youngest josh was shot and killed by
crack cocaine
the oldest johnny overdosed on heroin
and fentanyl
then the last of the brothers his name
was charles but everybody called him
chucky
he and i had quite a unique relationship
he actually set my personal car on fire
in the police department parking lot
he was upset another officer had
arrested him he mistook my car for his
poor gasoline on it and torched it
i can smile about it now and i know the
other officer he would thought that that
was the best mistake chucky ever made
i didn't think that and i remember one
time i was sitting in traffic on main
street
and i saw chucky walking down the street
he walked right past me he was drinking
a beer and smoking a joint i couldn't
believe it
i got out of the car and said chucky
what are you doing
he goes tom you're always messing with
me why you always picking on me
i said chucky you're walking down the
street drinking a beer and smoking a
joint
he got this little smirk on his face and
he said okay tom you got me
i got a call from one of my officers
a couple weeks before thanksgiving in
2014 he said hey chief
chucky overdosed we found him in the
street he was brought back with narcan
he's down here at the station he's
crying saying he doesn't want to die how
can we get him help
at the time we didn't have the heroin
coalition and we didn't have a lot of
resources or connections being a small
community
but i knew that chucky wasn't just the
last of a family
he was the last of a generation i said
you got to find some kind of treatment
take him to the hospital whatever it
takes even if we have to pay for it
we'll figure it out
about an hour later the officer called
back and said hey chief
chucky's refusing any help what do you
want us to do
having a better understanding of
addiction now than i did
then it's almost as if the fear of
succeeding
can be just as powerful as a familiarity
of despair
and being a cop especially back then
often the only tools that you have to
deal with addiction is a gun taser
handcuffs or jail
i said we got to keep chucky alive for
at least one more night so take him to
jail
we accomplished our mission keeping
chucky alive for at least one more night
the next morning he got out overdosed
and died in my career i'd seen an entire
family
an entire generation lost to addiction
but it wasn't just them that were
impacted each one of those brothers had
kids the oldest had five they were being
raised by a grandparent and three of
them struggled with substance use
disorder
three generations impacted by addiction
in my small community
i have to be honest and this may sound
strange
but i struggled when chucky died the
enormity
of such a generational loss hit me
really hard
my naive dream of believing i could save
the world was shattered
i couldn't save a family
i had to accept the fact that i was more
human
than superhero and that night my worlds
collided
being a cop and a human being and when
that happens
there's nothing left but helplessness
and as a first responder as a police
officer
i like many others have felt helpless
before
but i'd never felt it at that level
trying to process it all i began to
write that's how i cope
i wrote about the calls i'd been on what
i'd seen
how i felt i wrote about
the family the loss of the family loss
of a generation the loss of chucky
i wrote that despite all he had done in
the 21 years i dealt with them
i never forgot that kid i never forgot
that at one point
he was a kid just like any other the
empathy i gave him as a kid and the
empathy i give him now
is not for the loss of a drug addict but
for the loss of a kid
i wanted to send it to the paper because
i realized i'd written an op-ed
but i was so afraid to do it because i
had written it as a chief
but i was so vulnerable as a human being
i thought that if i did that it might
bring more awareness to the public about
addiction
but this isn't something that a cop a
chief supposed to do
we don't talk about the things that we
see we feel we're not supposed to
champion
causes i knew
that if i sent that to the paper i'd be
judged and criticized
i would lose friends and peers it would
have a negative
impact on my career i knew that if i
sent that
no matter what i wanted out of my life
or career would be changed forever
and as my finger hovered over the send
button
just as it did 21 years prior that voice
came back
and it said this is where you will
change
the world and in that moment
i had to make a decision do i lead with
my career
or do i lead with humanity
i chose humanity and hit send
all of those bad things i thought would
happen
they did but there were things i could
have never
imagined i became this unlikely
advocate a voice for changing the way we
view and deal with addiction
i was even called the face of heroin
which
i don't know what this says about my
face it's like oh man
i joined other community members helping
to form the hamilton county heroin
coalition
traveled overseas and spoke about
addiction
interviewed by media from all around the
world
i testified in front of a u.s senate
subcommittee about the impact of
fentanyl carfentanyl in the united
states
my life career and work with the opiate
epidemic
has been archived in the national law
enforcement museum
and i was invited by president clinton
to join him and other speakers at johns
hopkins university
that event was webcast throughout the
world
and after it was finished a friend came
up and said you gotta check out twitter
so i got on twitter and i looked and i
saw what i said
was being shared all around the world
and i stood there and i thought
the voice was right it came true
i was changing the world
but the more i reflected on it i
realized that i wasn't changing the
world
what was changing the world was the
everyday actions and
interactions of people courageous enough
to share
their experiences parents
who lost a child to addiction that
somehow gathered the strength to start a
foundation
helping others with substance use
disorder
get the treatment they need all in the
hopes no
other family would feel the pain that
they did
a father who others only saw his
daughter as a drug addict and a
prostitute
and although he didn't condone her
behavior
he only saw her as he did the first time
he ever laid eyes on her
as his princess he and i became good
friends
and i watched every day
as he worked to save her life
so determined he would walk the streets
to try to find her
and even as he was dying of cancer he
taught me
the true meaning of unconditional love
i'm telling you this man came from the
heavens
because i had read what the word grace
meant
in the religions and he didn't just
personify it
he was grace
people in recovery i'm honored to call
my friends
they have been had to overcome such
immense challenges
men's physical emotional challenges to
achieve recovery
they now lead by example inspire others
help them so they too can achieve
recovery
they are some of the bravest people i
know because they have nothing
other than be able they had no choice
but to be so vulnerable there was
nothing left
but honesty it was all of them that
taught me to stand
up in front of the world to tell the
world
it is time we change the way we view and
deal with addiction
we must see the person before
we notice the addiction and understand
we cannot punish
addiction out of someone instead should
treat it as a chronic
mental medical health condition it is
and never can we discount the one
because it is never just the one that
suffers
there's always a mother father brother
sister son or daughter who suffers along
with them
never just the one but the many
i have been asked how many times should
we save someone once twice
three times how many chances should we
give them
my answer at least a million
there's this parable used in a world of
addiction called a starfish parable it's
the story of a young boy walking along
the beach where thousands of starfish
have washed up
he knows that if he doesn't get them
back in the ocean they'll die
so he picks up a starfish throws it in
the ocean picks up another throws it in
the ocean
picks up another throws it in the ocean
an old man watching this can't believe
what he's seeing
he goes up to him and says young man
what are you doing there's too
many you're wasting your time you can't
save them all
the young boy picks up a starfish throws
it in the ocean
looks at the old man and says i saved
that one
it is in our humanity we find hope
and hope doesn't determine when it
intervenes
it only gives us the wisdom to persevere
in that op-ed i wrote about one of the
daughters
of the oldest brother she was introduced
to drugs at a very young age
she's still young but has nearly two
decades of dealing with substance use
disorder
but a family police department a judge
advocates in the community never gave up
hope she had been saved many times
given many chances and it was a good
thing
because a few weeks ago shelley stood up
in front of a group of peers and
strangers
telling her story as she graduated from
a long-term treatment program
she now has an apartment a job and is an
act of recovery
she is breaking the family tradition of
addiction
there will be moments in your life when
you'll have to make a decision
will you lead with your career
profession job title
the uniform cost to mass that you show
others
or if you want to change the world then
i leave you with this challenge
lead with your humanity
thank you