-Today, the president reeled off
a deranged tirade at the White House,
where he celebrated his sham impeachment acquittal
with his Republican co-conspirators.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
After his acquittal
in the Senate impeachment trial yesterday,
Trump was eager to celebrate --
even at events where it wasn't entirely appropriate.
For example, this morning,
he attended the annual National Prayer Breakfast
in Washington, and before he even sat down,
Trump started holding up the front pages
of multiple newspapers showing people he was acquitted,
a stunt which he then repeated at a press conference
a few hours later at the White House.
He finally found the one job he's qualified for --
newspaper boy. [ Laughter ]
[ As Trump ] Extra! Extra!
Extra! Extra! Read all about me!
Trump "a-quitter."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Then Trump took aim at both
Utah senator Mitt Romney,
the only Republican who voted to convict Trump,
and also House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Romney cited his faith in explaining his vote,
and Pelosi had said many times
that she prays for the president.
and Trump decided to attack them for it.
-I don't like people who use their faith
as justification for doing
what they know is wrong.
Nor do I like people who say, "I pray for you."
When they know that that's not so.
[ Laughter ]
-Because what is prayer, if not a time to air petty grievances?
Then Trump's son Don Jr.
tried to back him up on Twitter this morning, writing,
"The likelihood of Nancy Pelosi praying for Trump
is about the same as the likelihood of Satan
running around quoting the scriptures."
All right. Okay.
Let's see if Satan has ever quoted the scriptures.
-2 Corinthians, right?
2 Corinthians 3:17.
That's the whole ball game.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Even when Trump is reading directly from the Bible,
he sounds like he's making it up.
He sounds like he's trying to distract a priest
while his fellow altar boys steal the communion wine.
[ As Trump ] 2 Corinthians, oh.
There were -- Wasn't just one Corinthian.
There were two.
That's what -- That's what really made 'em quite a team.
And, you know, you just can't beat 2 Corinthians.
I mean, that's the whole ball game.
[ Normal voice ] Then Trump moved over to the White House,
where he decided to hold his deranged victory speech
or press conference or whatever it was.
In fact, even Trump himself
didn't seem to know what quite to call it.
-This is really not a news conference.
It's not a speech.
It's not anything.
-Then why are we here?
He sounds like Simon Cowell berating a contestant
on "America's Got Talent."
[ As Cowell ] It's not a song. It's not a dance.
It's not anything.
[ Laughter, cheers, and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] That might be
the only thing Trump was right about.
This really wasn't a speech or a press conference or anything.
It was a chance to lash out at critics,
spin wild conspiracy theories, and sooth his wounded ego.
In fact, he spent most of his time
gleefully shouting out to fellow Republicans
who helped him cover up his crimes.
And the shout-outs kept getting weirder and weirder.
-Mitch McConnell, I want to tell you,
you did a fantastic job.
And Mike Braun, you have done some great job.
Thank you very much.
Josh Hawley, I want to thank you.
You were right from the beginning.
Man, did I make a good choice.
But Mike Lee is a brilliant guy. He's difficult.
Kevin, man, did you do a job.
Lucky you're there.
Jim Jordan.
When I first got to know Jim, I said, uh,
"Huh, never wears a jacket.
The hell's going on?
He's obviously very proud of his body."
-Proud of his body? Have you -- Have you seen Jim Jordan?
He looks like a ventriloquist dummy
who got cut from Jeff Dunham's act.
Also, it is so telling, so telling that Trump
thinks not wearing a jacket means you're proud of your body
because Trump does everything he can to cover up his body.
Not only does he wear those baggy pants and long ties,
but he also wears that giant bulky coat
that makes him look like he just snuck out of the White House
with all the valuable china stuffed in his pockets.
Then, at one point, Trump shouted out
Iowa senator Chuck Grassley and claimed Grassley
had supposedly scared former FBI Director James Comey
into confessing to Comey's supposed secret plot
to take down Trump.
-A man who got James Comey to choke.
And he was just talking in his regular voice.
He's got this voice that scares people.
You know, people from Iowa can be very tough.
We're doing very well in Iowa, but I'll tell you,
Chuck Grassley, he's looking at Comey...
[ Deep voice ] "Well, you tell me. What did you say?"
-All right, that sounds very scary,
so let's compare this scary fictional version of Grassley
to the actual Grassley trying to gavel down
a Democrat at a Senate hearing.
-This committee, sir... [ Gavel banging ]
...is in violation of even the values
I've heard you talk about time and time again,
the ideals that we should have. What is the rush?
[ Banging continues ] What are we trying to hide
by not having the documents out front?
What is with the rush? What are we hiding
by not letting those documents come out?
You've called for documents -- you, yourself.
Let me at the documents. We thought there should be more.
We have not received the documents
that you have even called for.
-He's not a senator. He's a metronome.
Looks like a grandpa who's been trying to hammer one nail
into the deck for eight hours.
"Grandpa, just let me use the drill."
[ Gruff voice ] I don't need any help!
Let me do it myself!
[ Normal voice ] Although, there was one imaginary friend
Trump couldn't introduce because he wasn't in the room,
but Trump said he wished he had been there
so that he could have given him an introduction, too.
-"Honest Abe" Lincoln.
A lot of people forget Abe Lincoln.
I wish he were here. I'd give him one hell of an introduction.
[ Laughter ]
But he was a Republican.
Abe Lincoln, Honest Abe.
-That's right. Trump wishes he could have
introduced Abraham Lincoln in his speech today.
Of course, if Trump did,
he would immediately make it about him
and somehow insult Lincoln.
[ As Trump ] Honest Abe. There he is.
Abe Lincoln, everybody.
So honest, maybe the most honest,
although some people say I'm a little more honest.
So Abe over there, he's laughing.
He's number two, the second-most honest.
I'm number one.
I told you not to go to that theater, Abe!
I told you.
I told you plays were boring, but of course, you're fine.
Nothing happened to you,
so I don't know why the audience groaned.
You're here in this timeline.
In this timeline, you're fine.
You're 200 years old and you're right there
and you're laughing at me and we're friends.
[ Normal voice ] Trump's rambling non-speech fever dream
or whatever the hell it was was really just a showcase
for our perpetually aggrieved
and wounded president to nurse his ego,
relive old glories, and lash out at random critics
and shout away imagined opponents.
For example, Trump claimed that his three years
as president have been marred
by traitors trying to take him down
and kept using a few insane phrases in particular.
-It was evil. It was corrupt.
It was dirty cops.
It was leakers and liars.
The bad ones, the leakers, the liars, the dirty cops.
Horrible dirty cops.
When I fired that sleaze bag, he was the top scum.
We caught him in the act.
Dirty cops.
-Is he whining about impeachment or narrating a movie trailer?
[ As Trump ] It was the bad ones,
the leakers, the liars, the dirty cops.
And the only one who could take them down was Serpi-Dope.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] I hope this is a reminder
to everyone who thought Trump
has somehow managed to restrain himself
during the State of the Union two days ago.
The Trump we saw today was the real Trump,
and it's the Trump we're gonna keep seeing
for the next nine months until the election,
because it's pretty clear from his vengeful celebratory tone
that Trump wanted this to be the week that for all intents
and purposes, he kicked off his 2020 re-election campaign.
Although I'm not sure Trump ever really stopped campaigning.
He spends more time in arenas than Jon Bon Jovi.
[ As Trump ] You ready to rock, Kansas?
[ Normal voice ] "This is Missouri, you idiot!"
[ Cheers and applause ]
For example, during his White House tirade today,
Trump bragged about his near-unanimous victory
in the Republican Iowa caucus on Monday,
even though he's the incumbent president
and everyone expected him to win easily.
But Trump still sent a big team
to Iowa on Monday as a show of force,
including his adult gargoyle sons, Eric and Don Jr.
And Don Jr. relayed what Iowans have been telling him
throughout his time campaigning in the state.
-Honestly, the biggest thing I get is thanks.
It's someone telling us thank you
for the sacrifices that your family is making,
because you didn't need this job, right?
The presidency wasn't the next natural progression
for my father like it would have been for Hillary
where it's her turn. Right?
He'd actually done things in the real world.
He needed this job, frankly, like a hole in the head,
especially understanding the resistance
that he was gonna get.
-Ah, but are you sure he doesn't already have a hole in his head?
Listen to him talk and tell me
he doesn't have some hole in his head.
-10,000 known or suspested gang members.
Advising lawmarkers.
Will not be tolerited.
-Yes, you see, Democratic lawmarkers
suspested that Trump had committed a crime,
but ultimately Republicans decided it could be tolerited.
That was Monday, and then on Wednesday,
Trump was hoping his week would be propelled even further
by an acquittal in the Senate on party lines,
where he expected to receive 100% support from Republicans.
And while it's true that Trump was acquitted,
his good news was stepped on by the fact
that Republican senator Mitt Romney
sided with Democrats and voted to convict him.
Romney rained on Trump's parade, which is bad news for Trump,
because he doesn't know how to use an umbrella.
But seriously, even with the acquittal,
that one vote is a historical stain
that will remain on Trump's presidency forever.
That fact's gonna show up
on Trivial Pursuit cards years from now.
"Who is the only president in history
to have a senator of his own party
vote to remove him from office?
Hint -- The answer is not..."
-Abe Lincoln, Honest Abe.
-Now, Romney knew he would pay
a political price for this decision
because Trump allies had already warned
that if Republicans vote against the president,
your head will be on a pike.
And Romney was asked about that danger
in an interview on Fox News.
-You realize this is war.
Donald Trump will never forgive you for this.
-There's a hymn that is sung in my church.
It's an old protestant hymn which is
"Do what is right, let the consequence follow."
-There's probably no better way to flummox Donald Trump
than by quoting a religious hymn
because he has no idea what it means.
When Trump hears the phrase, "old protestant hymn,"
he probably thinks he's referring
to a member of his cabinet.
[ As Trump ] Oh, yeah, I got a bunch of old protestant "hims"
and I got one protestant "her."
[ Normal voice ] And sure enough,
Trump did fire back at Romney yesterday with a bizarre ad
aimed at a member of his own party
accusing Romney of being a secret Democratic traitor.
But I'm not sure the ad had quite the damaging effect
on Romney that Trump hoped it would have.
-Slick, slippery, stealthy.
Mitt Romney had us fooled.
Posing as a Republican, he tried to infiltrate
Trump's administration as Secretary of State.
Now his cover's blown,
exposed by news reports as a Democrat secret asset.
-Look, I'm no Mitt Romney superfan,
but you do realize this ad makes him look incredibly cool, right?
I mean, I didn't think it was possible
to take a boring private equity robot like Romney
and turn him into James Bond, but somehow Trump did it.
Literally wearing sunglasses,
and you describe him as slick, stealthy, and a secret asset.
You might as well give him a martini and Aston Martin
and put him next to Pussy Galore.
[ As Romney ] Uh, Ms. Galore, do you mind if I read you
an old protestant hymn?
[ As Galore ] Call me Pussy, Mitt.
[ As Romney ] Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, I'm not gonna do that.
Definitely not.
[ Normal voice ] And yet, while Romney stood alone
among Republicans in holding Trump accountable,
others who voted to acquit Trump tried to dodge questions
about their votes, especially the deeply vulnerable senators
facing re-election in swing states in 2020.
Take Maine senator Susan Collins,
who sided with Trump on impeachment,
but also tried to claim in an interview with Fox News
last night that Trump had learned his lesson.
-Will something in you be disappointed
if you never see any evidence that he has learned a lesson
or if he does something like this again?
-Very much so.
I hoped that the president would have learned
from the fact that he was impeached by the House.
There were so many of us who are Republicans in the Senate
who are very critical of the call.
The call was wrong.
Parts of the call were fine.
-What do you mean, parts of the call were fine?
"He nailed the 'Hello,'
and I thought the 'Goodbye' was solid, too.
Put it back in the cradle when he was done."
Also, why do you think Trump would have learned anything?
Just today, he said the call was perfect again.
Trump is incapable of learning.
Doesn't matter what the subject is --
spelling, geography, he never learns.
Remember, this is a guy who misspelled
his wife's name and his own name
and who has literally invented multiple fake countries.
-Tanzania. Nambia.
-Yes -- Tanzania and Nambia.
This guy is the president,
and he doesn't even know basic geography.
If you said "Bangladesh" to Trump, he'd go...
[ As Trump ] Why? Is Ladesh hot?
[ Laughter, cheers, and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] Collins was then asked if Trump
had given her any assurances
that he had learned his lesson, and she admitted he had not.
-Did he give you any assurance that he would not
do something like that again, accept foreign help
in anything related to someone that might be running with him?
Did you talk to him about it at all?
-I've had no conversations with him throughout the trial.
-So, why do you have that feeling that he has changed,
that he learned a lesson?
-Well, I may not be correct on that.
It's more aspirational on my part.
-Oh, it's aspirational. That's nice.
Do you have one of those motivational posters
up in your office, you know,
like the one with the cat that says,
"Hang in there. He might not be a criminal."
Then there was Colorado senator Cory Gardner,
another deeply vulnerable Republican
facing a tough re-election in a swing state.
Gardner also sided with Trump on impeachment.
Last night, on a local news station,
he was asked repeatedly if Trump's actions were appropriate
and would not answer the question,
while also insisting he was answering the question.
-Do you believe it's appropriate
for the president of the United States
to ask a foreign leader to investigate a political rival?
Yes or no? -That wasn't the question
that we had last night, or that we had in impeachment.
-Was the president's behavior appropriate, though?
-But that wasn't the question.
-So, clearly, not answering that question.
-Well, I did answer the question about impeachment.
-No, you didn't. These guys all have
the same Trump brain disease where they think they can
just Jedi mind trick us into not believing what we're seeing.
That's why Trump's always doing that thing
with his hands, you know?
He's trying to pull an Obi Wan Kenobi on us,
but instead, he just looks like he's playing
an invisible accordion.
[ As Trump ] Those aren't the droids you're looking for.
You guys want to hear a polka?
You want to hear a polka?
[ Normal voice ] The fundamental tenets of Trumpism
and the modern Republican party are grievance and paranoia,
and that was on full display
in Trump's deranged press conference today.
But vulnerable Republicans in swing states
are struggling to defend that behavior
because a majority of Americans in polls
still believe that the president's crimes cannot be...
-Tolerited. -This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪