Coworkers aren't your friends, they're your
family. I can't even begin to tell you how many
times I've gotten that comment on this video.
There's just so much wrong with that statement
right there. And in this video, we're going to
unpack it. Spoiler alert work, family is a lie.
And just like how, in general co workers are not
your friends, coworkers are not your family.
Today, I'm going to break down why this isn't just
a statement that shows no work life boundaries
whatsoever. It can also be the foundation of a
toxic workplace and create a downright dangerous
work environment. If you were here for this rant,
tap that like button, maybe get yourself a coffee,
and let's get into it to start us off, I have to
confess something your work might just be exactly
like a family. When a company says we're like a
family here, they might not be lying, what they're
omitting from that statement is what kind of
family they really are. When you hear the word
family an image immediately springs to mind it
probably looks a little something like this, a
family who is happy, cohesive and definitely has
positive and productive relationships with each
other. That's exactly what the whole word family
at this company thing wants you to think your work
family is going to be like however, that might not
be the type of family that they are. They might
even be a toxic family or at minimum the slightly
dysfunctional constantly driving you up the wall
kind of family you know the kind that a lot of
people have. So I will give the work family miss
this one because it really comes down to an
expectations versus reality thing. And really,
they're probably not being totally deceptive when
they're saying word family because like many
families, the image that you see projected outside
does not reflect what your experience is going to
be inside. However, we need to dig deeper into why
the work family lie is so damaging, and even
dangerous. Let's start with the culture that the
work family promotes. At the top level framing
your co workers is your family and the
relationship that you have with your company as
family has advantages for your company. Why?
Because you would do anything for family. For
example, if your sister calls you in crisis at 2am
you are on the phone brainstorming solutions your
cousin's moving to a new fifth story walk up
you're going to be climbing some stairs this
weekend. So naturally, if your work family needs
help, you're gonna pitch in right it doesn't
matter that you work in sales, the customer
support team has been slammed and because we're a
work family, we're all rolling up our sleeves and
putting in extra time to help them get through
those cases have yet another after hours team
event. Well, it's because your work family needs
time together to bond getting a little too deep
and definitely crossing the personal professional
work life boundaries that you like to have when it
comes to conversations with coworkers. Well
families share right and perhaps this does build
closeness and camaraderie. Maybe this is even the
best thing about working for your company. But
that's the best case scenario. And in most cases,
this is the lazy way of contriving workplace
culture where the culture doesn't exist otherwise,
if you think it's real observe what happens when
someone leaves and put a pin in that we're coming
back to that later. But in the worst case scenario
this work family thing enables toxic behaviors at
work Heck, these toxic behaviors are borrowed from
toxic families for instance, perhaps your work
family is constantly encroaching in your work life
boundaries all in the name of we're a family here
but this has real implications to your overall
wellness job satisfaction and happiness or maybe
there's a culture of disrespect at work and the
work family lie is covering it up your co workers
are insulting each other and you and it's being
explained away by this is just how we'll work
family is he asked if you're dealing with insults
at work that is a video that I have coming up so
if you aren't already consider subscribing if you
want to see that one. At this point you might be
thinking Jennifer that's not so bad. I mean,
insults happen work life boundaries get stomped
on. However, the toxic behavior is that the work
family life allows can be much more corrosive than
what's just really a bad workplace behavior or
example. I can't tell you the number of times that
I've heard where a family here used in conjunction
with gaslighting in a toxic workplace where
bullying and harassment is being excused. We're
like a family here. That's just how we are. Oh,
it's just a joke. We're like family here. We like
to have fun, FYI. bullying and harassment. Not
fun. And it gets even worse. Oh, Ted in
accounting. He hugs everyone. We're family here.
Just like you've read stories about families doing
crazy things to cover up bad and even illegal
behavior. You might be expected to do the same
thing for your work family. Oh, I'm sure 10 didn't
mean anything at the happy hour. You're just
misreading the situation. How much did you have to
drink
Maybe it's not going that far, I sincerely hope it
is not going that far for you. But across all
levels of the work family toxic behavior, there is
one thing that is very consistent. And it's
probably true for you, if you've made it this far
in this video, if you're in a work setting where
coworkers or family or they're pretending to be,
if you aren't part of that work, family, you are
being marginalized at work, you don't fit in with
a work family. And maybe because of it, your co
workers don't even like you or you're not being
seen as a team player. And this can have a really
big impact not just on your job satisfaction, but
also in your performance reviews, your career
trajectory. And most importantly, even your
confidence at work can be impacted. If you feel
like you don't fit in if you're in a highly
political environment, dealing with a work family
when you're being shamed or judged for not fitting
in with work family, or you're being targeted and
workplace gossip. Or maybe you're even being
sabotage at work by your so called work family. It
could really make you question if you're good
enough to do the job that you do, I lose sight of
all of the opportunities around you. If this is a
situation that you have found yourself in, you
need to get clear on your awesomeness and
confident AF and I have a workshop that will help
you begin that process. And it's totally free. I'm
going to leave the link in the description just in
case you need that. And that brings me to this
final point. And the marginalization and
dysfunction of the work family is punctuated by
this finals. families don't have favorites, they
don't give different amounts of money or
inheritance. It's a big problem. If they do and
they certainly don't fire each other. Well, at
least families that aren't toxic. Don't your
coworkers are not your family, because there is a
contingency built into that relationship, the fact
that you work together. And in most cases, if you
quit your job, or otherwise leave the company,
those relationships are going to fade. Sure not in
all cases, maybe you do have co workers who become
true friends, or even co workers who become your
chosen family. But one of the things that the work
family culture demands of you is loyalty, and
you're not getting it in return. After all,
Business is business. It is not personal, which is
the ultimate contradiction of the work family
facade, much of your job is not personal, at least
it's not supposed to be if you don't get paid to
lead a project. It's not personal, the company's
revenue is down and they can't give you that
raise. That's not personal either. Or they don't
have sufficient revenue and they have to make some
difficult decisions and you get laid off. Well,
that's not personal either. Right? How are you not
supposed to take that personally when they've been
pretending to be your work family the whole time.
Now if you are in cab coworkers are my family and
it is a good thing and it is serving you well. And
it's positive and productive. No judgments you do
you my friends. No matter where you stand on this
topic, I would actually love to hear your thoughts
on the whole work family thing in the comments
down below. And at this point, you might be
realizing that not only are coworkers, not your
family, but you might be in a toxic AF workplace.
If you think that that might be the case go and
check out this video right now where I break down
all the signs of a toxic work environment. But
before you go, if you enjoyed this video if it
helped inform you if it means you think a little
give it a thumbs up it really helps my channel and
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my career besties and as always, I will see you in
the next video. Bye for now.