- My next guest literally changed my life.
He really did.
He's a public speaker and a business consultant
who's dedicated his career to discovering
why some people break through to the next level
in life and others don't.
His New York Times bestselling book, Essentialism:
The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
has been one of my favorites for years.
Please welcome my friend, Greg McKeown.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- We've got somebody here
who can use your help.
Let's say hello to Lorena.
- Hello.
Hi, hi.
- Now, Lorena, you say you often times
feel like a hamster on a wheel,
just spinning and spinning and spinning.
So what's going on in your life right now
that has you spinning like that out of control?
- Right now, I've been married for 11 years,
and happily married.
I have a son who's 10 years old
and two year old quadruplets.
(audience exclaims)
Yeah.
Yes, quadruplets.
(applause)
Yes.
- Four kids.
- Yes, so basically my life revolves around them.
All day, same routine everyday,
get them ready, change the diapers,
do their breakfast, clean up after all the mess
they made for their breakfast,
entertain them the best way that I can,
either inside or outside of the house.
- So let me ask you this,
what are your dreams and goals?
- Basically, my dream is to be a nurse practitioner.
- So Greg, let's talk about this
'cause this is a real situation
even if you've got one child.
- Yes.
- That's a big game changer.
Quadruplets,
I'm out.
(laughing)
- But the first thing, when you're in a situation
in life, you had your son.
You had a certain challenge and you had a certain response.
And when your response is equal to your challenge,
you feel successful and happy.
- Yes.
- Then, you got a whole new challenge.
- Yes.
- And the old response is not sufficient anymore.
And if that doesn't match up,
you start feeling unsuccessful and unhappy.
- Yes.
- The first question is, in this new environment,
in the new challenge, what is something
that is essential to you that you feel
you're underinvesting in now?
What is that for you?
- Right now, basically me time.
Giving myself time.
- Let me break this down. - Okay.
- How much time do you need away
from your husband and the kids?
(laughing)
How much time everyday
- Yes.
- do you need away from them
that would make you feel like, okay now.
Okay, I got some me time, I can breathe now.
I can do something.
- I would say, at least, five, six hours a day.
Right now, it's like--
(laughing)
- Six hours?
(laughing)
You're gonna have to put them kids in foster care.
(laughing)
Okay now, Lorena, ain't none of us got six hours of me time.
- Yes, at least-- - 'Cause your poor husband,
he just went. - At least two hours.
At least two hours.
- [Greg] Okay, two hours.
- Two hours. - Two hours.
- I'll be happy.
- Can I tell you something?
That's the number I had in my head.
- Oh okay.
- Now, is your husband here?
- Right there. - Oh my man.
What's your name, son?
- Leo.
- Leo, I need you both to talk to me about
what is something nonessential.
Now, I know a lot nonessentials already fell out
of your life, I know that.
But I'm asking, is there something still
that you go, it's nonessential,
I know it's not really high valued to me,
especially in this new reality.
- Right now, basically,
the times I spent cooking, the times I spent driving
around to the doctor's office.
- You gotta go to the doctor's now.
You quit going to the doctor, we got a problem.
Okay, cooking.
- So now, I can ask you the same question.
- Well just when I get home, watch a little bit of TV.
- [Greg] How much?
A little bit, you said a little bit,
how much? - An hour.
- An hour. - I understand that,
I understand that.
- It's more than an hour, probably--
(audience laughs)
- How long is it really?
- I'd probably say like two hours.
- In all fairness, in all fairness,
the man work all day. - Yes.
- Then you gonna ask him to give up the two hours of TV,
and then he got to go to work again.
So now, where he at?
Let's try to cover this point.
Lorena wants to pursue her dream
of becoming a nurse practitioner.
But how can we get her to that?
- If I were guessing for you, I would say that you
feel like I'm just never gonna do this.
- Yes.
- I think maybe you say, "Look, is there one class
I can take online?", so that you feel satisfied
that you're making progress towards your goal.
Even if you go, it isn't all going to happen
in the next year.
- Why don't we start right now,
our show give you a meal plan for an entire year.
(applause)
- Thank you.
Oh my gosh, that would change so much.
Thank you.
Thank you. - A real meal,
I'm telling you that they have some great plans out there.
There's really good, delicious, well-balanced.
- Thank you. - That'll free up the cooking.
'Cause he gotta keep watching TV, 'cause man.
(laughing)
Well okay, I think that'll help right there.
That'll get-- - Yes, a lot.
- And then, like he said, start working online,
maybe one class a week, where you can take an hour.
- A little bit over a long period of time
is going to add up.
And that helps you to feel enough.
- [Lorena] Thank you.
- I think this is great.
Folks, listen to me.
You gotta this book.
For more information on Essentialism,
and how you can make critical changes in your life,
go to SteveTV.com.
We'll be right back, everybody.
(upbeat music)