You know, I was looking at some of those top whatever lists of the worst games ever made,
the worst PC games ever made, and I got to thinking
I have a lot worse games than are in those lists just in my collection.
So basically what I'm going to present here is a list of the top 17 worst PC games that I have in my collection.
Now of course I haven't played every PC game ever, so there are probably some games that are going to be left out
that you think are much worse than some of these but you know, whatever.
This is the top 17 that I've played and that I have stashed in here for whatever reason or another.
So, let's get straight to
Number 17: Streets of Sim City
I hesitated to put this one on here since I do find it a guilty pleasure
but let's be honest: Streets of Sim City is a terrible racer. The controls are wank, the plot is scattered
and the graphics and sound are mediocre at best. And there are so many bugs that you'd think
that you were an entomologist or something, not playing a Maxis game.
Number 16: Test Drive 4/Test Drive Offroad 2
I lump these two together because they piss me off equally and use the same game engine... and they're both racing games.
Test Drive 4 is just an awful, unresponsive, buggy, evil game that is out to get you,
and Test Drive Offroad 2 is the same thing but worse in every way, except with dirt and trucks.
I actually broke a keyboard over a brick wall due to this game as a kid. I am dead serious.
Number 15: Combat Medic
This one's a bit unique this game is so terrible it won't even let you start it.
I have tried installing this game several times on lots of computers and have never once got this game to even start.
I'd wanted to try it because the box art and screenshots are just horrendous it looks amazingly horrible but alas, we may never know.
Number 14: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
As another odd game for the list, this game in itself isn't the most horrible TMNT game I've ever played,
but there's one problem: you can't beat the game. Seriously, there is a spot in one level, it is impossible to cross
Effectively ending the game right there, and making it impossible to get past. Amazing.
Number 13: Depth Dwellers
There are lots and lots of bad Doom clones, but this one is special.
I've never seen a shooter with as little... everying as Depth Dwellers. It's like the programmers made a decent 3D engine
and then had no idea what to do with it whatsoever. The plot is lame, the music is horrible, the sounds are worse
and the levels are confusing, and holy crap! The repetition is enough to make you vomit.
I'm serious, I get sick playing this game. It's like saying you have a car but in fact, you only have a steering wheel. That's not how it works, man.
Number 12: Mega Man
Mega Man is easily one of the better games on the NES, but sadly poor Rock Man's first adventure on the PC did not have such a great start.
You must have Jedi reflexes to play PC Mega Man. No, in fact, I don't think that would help at all.
Due to the crap controls, atrocious enemy action, and nasty level design. Disgrace.
Number 11: Outpost
I bought Outpost for $2, brand new, not long after it came out. I was like, "Why is it so cheap?! What the heck?! The box makes it look totally sweet
and c'mon, it's a space strategy game by Sierra." But then you get into the game and oh good grief. Horrible interface, horrible gameplay, horrible narration,
horrible, horrible, horrible. Nice graphics, convoluted gameplay. Just a serious disappointment.
Number 10: Extreme Paintbrawl
You know, contrary to popular lore, this game is actually almost playable.
It's a simple FPS using the Build engine, and it is what it is:
paintball, with nonexistent AI, infinite bugs, faulty game mechanics, and the stupidest music ever.
It's considered by many to be the worst game of all time, so you know there's some serious crap coming up when Paintbrawl is only Number 10.
Number 9: Space Bunnies Must Die
I gotta say, this one is just weird. The game is supposed to be like one of those
late night sexist B-Movies, so it sounded like fun, but man, I don't know what happened. This thing is just broken.
The controls suck, the graphics suck, the gameplay is not there, and worst of all
there is absolutely nothing fun about it. It's clunky, ugly obnoxious, and lame.
Number 8: Xenophage: Alien Bloodsport
Apogee was know for amazing PC games, usually genre-defining and worth every penny.
Then came Xenophage, a fighting game to capitalize on the Mortal Kombat craze.
Bug-filled, crap controls, stupid characters, annoying AI, broken collision detection, and a million times more aggrivating than fun.
Xenophage: Alien Sucksport, I hope time forgets you because you tarnish Apogee's good name.
Number 7: Mag Racer
I can appreciate games made by one guy, the so-called "bedroom programmers",
but please, don't try and bite off more than you can chew.
Mag Racer is a racing game that reminds me of Depth Dwellers, somewhat.
Made by a programmer who had no idea what to do with what he'd just made.
The graphics are bizzare and ugly, the cars don't work and are out of control, and the camera is one of the worst I've seen in a racer.
All I can think when looking at this mess is "WTF AVOID"
Number 6: Catechuman
Christian games are few and far between and that's probably because most of them suck.
Catechuman is a standout title for all the wrong reasons, mainly because it's a God-fearing first-person shooter.
Shoot lasers from your sword at the evil people until they're so weak they have no choice but to pray and be converted. Wow.
Not to mention every last aspect of the design is so screwed up it's borderline unplayable.This has got to be sacrilege.
Number 5: Cyber Gladiators
I don't understand this one. I remember seeing some ads or something promotional,
saying this game was all steady-art crazy and awesome.
They had to have been on drugs from another universe.
Cyber Gladiators may just be the worst fighter on the PC and one of the worst period.
It is brain-numbingly simple, just kick and dodge every so often. And the "revolutionary graphis" are just laughable.
They look like there's something wrong. And there is zero replay value, even with other fighters.
Absolutely nothing is enjoyable about this.
Number 4: Winter Race 3D
Well it's obviously a budget title so you can't expect much of it, but wow, Winter Race 3D is one broken freaking game.
When I say nothing works, I mean nothing works.
The controls, half of the time, don't respond, and when they do, they're impressively jacked-up.
Any time you collide with anything you bounce 90 degrees in a random direction.
Is this a racing game or a pinball machine?
The gameplay is stupid, the goals are nonexistent, and the graphics... eugh.
I've tried to figure this one out, but I just cannot see how this one got anywhere near the store shelves.
This is so rubbish, it's classy.
Number 3: Speed Rage
If you're a connoisseur of bad games this is a very guilty pleasure.
Speed Rage is legendarily bad, and for good reason: nothing works. Nothing!
I think it's supposed to be a racing game, but I am actually not sure. I'm not sure if it even qualifies as a game.
It's more like an exercise in self-preservation as in how long can you make yourself sit through this
until killing the game before you kill yourself.
Number 2: Extreme Bull Rider
I thought Winter Race 3D and Speed Rage were bad until I played this. And... I'm speechless.
I mean, it almost looks like somebody tried to make this a game and then got distracted by cheese or something.
Nothing makes any sense, much less works at all in an even remotely playable way. This is just... wow.
Every last bit of this game pisses me off. I find it incomprehensible that this is real.
Somebody pinch me, no, shoot me. The only way this could get any worse is if not one single part of the game worked at all.
I mean, at least things move around somewhat how you'd expect and there's collision detection... sometimes,
Which is far more than what I can say for our grand prize winner.
Number 1: Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing
I've seen better gameplay on a vending machine.