someone is getting married and I'm here to tell you all about the traditional
British or wedding hello everyone my name is Anna English this is English
like a native and in anticipation of the royal wedding I thought this was a
perfect opportunity to discuss the culture and the traditions surrounding a
British wedding now this subject is huge there's so much
information that I could give to you but I thought I would just give you a
general overview of the British wedding now before we dive on into this subject
I do want to give a huge shout out and a big THANK YOU to our long-term sponsors
italki, italki is an online language learning provider and being online it
means that the lessons are very convenient basically you can take a
lesson anywhere in the world at any time of the day or night as long as you have
a device and an internet connection. you can choose which teacher you would like
to spend time with. I also like italki because they are very affordable, you
should definitely check out their prices and if you haven't previously signed up
to italki then by clicking on the link in the description box below you will get
$10 credit when you make your first purchase so basically you're buying a
lesson and getting one for free. so if this does interest you and you want to
improve your English or any other language that you're learning which
italki provide then do click on the link in the description box below and
take a look. right let's talk about weddings. when you
meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with depending on your
circumstances you can choose from three options. you can either have a civil
partnership a civil marriage or a religious marriage. but what's the
difference? civil partnerships are only available to
same-sex couples, so two boys or two girls who want to spend their lives
together can choose to have a civil partnership, it's very similar to a
marriage but there are a few differences for example adultery is not recognized
as grounds for divorce. interesting. same-sex couples also now
have the option to have a civil marriage or a religious marriage. now civil
marriage and religious marriage are pretty much the same it's just that a
religious marriage contains religious content like religious songs and
religious readings will be held in a place of worship like a church. the way
it generally works with the majority of the people in the UK is that you marry
someone that you fall in love with. you're free to choose who you want to
marry and when you want to marry them. it's not uncommon these days for a
couple to spend a lot of time together sometimes years before marriage even is
suggested. many couples even live together for many years and in some
cases, like in my case, couples will have a child before they decide to get
married and actually marriage isn't always a step that a couple decides to
take. some people don't believe that it's good for a relationship or even
necessary to get married and whatever decision that people make surrounding
marriage it's all accepted in the UK. we're very liberal and open-minded we
just want people to be happy. so who can get married? well there are
three basic rules both parties have to be 16 or over. the second one is that you
have to be available to be married so you either have to be single or you have
to be divorced from a previous marriage so legally you've been taken out of that
marriage or a widow. you're a widow if your previous partner who you were
married to is now deceased if they die you become a widow in which case you're
free to marry again, and finally you cannot marry someone you are closely
related to. now from now on I'm going to be referencing a heterosexual couple
because that's what my knowledge base is and what my experience is. if there's
anything you'd like to add that is more suited to your situation then please do
share it with us in the comment section below so we can all learn together. so in
a traditional heterosexual couple in the old days, and still quite a lot now but
it is changing, it's expected for the man to propose to the woman. a woman can
propose to a man but it's traditionally done in a leap year. don't ask me why
it's very strange. so traditionally a man would propose to
the woman, now in the old days a man would first ask permission from the
woman's father or at least the woman's family to ask if he could propose to the
woman. these days a man generally just goes straight to the woman and asks her.
he will get down on one knee and he will present a ring (typically a diamond ring)
and he would ask the question "will you marry me" and then the lady gives her
answer either yes, no or I need some time to think. something to note, a proposal is
also sometimes referred to as asking for a lady's hand in marriage.
so if she says yes everyone's happy the engagement is announced to the world and
everyone celebrates. there would normally be some form of engagement party and
then the planning starts. of course it depends on when you decide to book your
wedding. some people decide to have a very long engagement. I've known people
who have been engaged for years and years and years and there are two
reasons for this. perhaps it's because the timing to get married is not quite
right because of illness or family issues or work perhaps, but also some
people delay the wedding because weddings in the UK are very expensive
but once the date is set and everything is being planned one of the first things to
do is to send out invitations and find out which of your guests will be coming
along. now invitations can be two-tiered some people are invited to the whole
event, so the actual service of marriage as well as the party and the event that
happens after the marriage, other people are invited just to the party afterwards
and this can be for a number of reasons. perhaps the church in which you're
deciding to marry in is very small and won't hold many guests or perhaps you
have a very tight budget and you can't afford to feed everybody and to get
everyone into the church on time so you just invite extra people to come in the
evening. as the wedding date approaches there is a celebration that happens
with both the bride-to-be and the groom to be. the bride will get together with
her female friends and have a hen do this is a party for the bride-to-be and
her friends, and the groom to be will get together with his friends and have a
celebration called a stag do. sometimes this is one night, sometimes it's a whole
day, and evening some have a stag do which is the whole weekend, some even
have a whole week which i think is a bit greedy but each to their own.
but the hen do and the stag do are designed to celebrate their
last moments of freedom, their last moments of living as Singleton's before
they tie the knot and become a married couple, bound to each other for the rest
of their lives. when the big day arrives the guests
congregate, that means they get together, and they become known as the
congregation, so they congregate at the venue and they are there with the groom
as well as his best man so that's a special man a best friend or a brother
or someone who's chosen to support him on the day he look after him, and along
with the ushers, and the ushers are basically helpers to help the
congregation to find their seats and help everything run smoothly. now seating
in the venue will normally be split in two. guests of the groom on one side and
guests of the bride on the other leaving a walkway right down the middle
known as the aisle, and the groom will stand at the top of the aisle with his
best man waiting for his beautiful bride to arrive. once the guests are all seated
and everyone is ready then the bride arrives usually in style in a very posh
car or a horse-drawn carriage. just before the bride enters the venue she
gets together with her bridesmaids and pageboys if she has them, she will also
be there with the father of the bride if she decides to go in with her father. now
traditionally the bride and father of the bride would enter together first,
followed by the bridesmaids but these days it tends to be the bridesmaids who
go first. they walk down the aisle everyone looks at them and it creates a
sense of anticipation "we can't wait for the bride" then the music starts and
traditionally the music is 'here comes the bride' or it's also known as the
wedding march and they walk down the aisle to this music and everyone's like
"Oh beautiful"
and she'll be wearing a beautiful white dress sometimes an ivory dress or cream
dress and in some cases they wear all sorts of colors but traditionally it's a
white dress and she'll have a veil potentially over her face to cover her
beauty until she arrives at the top of the venue, faces her groom, who will
remove the veil and reveal her beautiful face. so then the ceremony begins the
bride and groom are stood at the altar with whoever is running the ceremony and
everyone else takes their seats. now there are a few particular points that
everyone expects in a wedding that you should definitely look out for if you
attend a British wedding they are: objections. now this always
makes me giggle because it's such an awkward moment during the ceremony. the
congregation are asked does anybody object to this wedding do you have any
legal reason why you think these two can't be married and everyone goes quiet
and everyone looks around to see if anyone will do the dramatic thing of going they
can't get married because I love him or because he's married to me. I've never
seen anyone object to a wedding in the middle of a ceremony but I'm sure at
some point it must have happened. the exchange of vows. so this is a really
lovely moment when the bride and groom face one another and read out the vows
that they have decided to give to one another the promises they want to make
this is always quite a special moment and then of course the exchange of rings.
which in every wedding I've ever been to the exchange of rings has always been a
hilarious moment I guess because they get hot and nervous, their fingers swell and
the rings don't always fit so it's always a little bit of a struggle for
them to try and get those rings to fit properly, it always causes a few giggles.
then once they've been pronounced man and wife once it's official then the
we'll be told that he may kiss the bride and there's a beautiful smooch, a snog at
the front of this venue and the whole congregation is like "yeah it's love it's
amazing it's wonderful we're so happy". each ceremony will also include a
signing of the register this is a legal requirement so they can make the whole
thing legal and official, and during this time usually because it's not that
interesting to watch people signing official documents normally there is a
performance of some sort a musical interlude someone might get up and sing
or play the guitar or there might be a nice track that's playing so everyone
can have relax and listen to the music it's usually very nice and then when
it's all done and dusted the bride and groom walk hand-in-hand out of the venue
together and this is where the congregation can go outside and throw
confetti or sometimes rice over the bride and groom as they exit the venue.
it depends on the venue though because some venues now ban it because it makes
such a mess but yes traditionally that's what you would expect. at this point the
photographs will happen so when everyone is still looking fresh there's a good
amount of daylight the photographers will come around gather different groups
of people together and make sure there are sufficient photographs of the day.
while the other guests are waiting there's usually a drinks reception and
canapes going around so they don't get too hungry and too bored then they'll be
asked to take their seats everyone will be seated according to the table plan
with the bride and groom on the top table usually overlooking all of their
guests, and then there'll be a meal. now this is called the wedding breakfast the
first meal after the marriage the wedding breakfast. now as the rest of the
day continues there are a number of things that will happen firstly most of
the guests will receive a keepsake this might be something like a tiny little
charm or a coaster with your name on it or
a special handkerchief or it's just a small gift to remind you of that special
moment in that special day. speeches. a traditional British wedding is never
complete without a lot of speeches. now anyone can give a speech but usually you
have to have a speech from the groom and the groom will normally say something
wonderful about his new wife, thanks the bridesmaid, thanks everyone for coming, he
has certain things he has to fulfill in his speech. then you will always have a
speech from the father of the bride as well who will again say something
wonderful about his daughter, tell the new groom to look after his daughter
that kind of thing and then the most famous one is the best man's speech.
remember the best man is the groom's best friend or chosen person he normally
knows the groom better than anyone else and this is normally or should be the
comedy speech, the light relief, the time when the groom starts to feel very
nervous because normally the best man will tell lots of secrets and stories
about the groom that the groom is very embarrassed by. carrying on and these are
in no particular order there'll also be a moment where the cake is officially
cut. a traditional wedding cake will have lots of tiers.
in the old days you used to keep some of the tiers for a very long time I think
one of them you would keep until your first child's christening or something
like that. nowadays it's normally just cut by the bride and groom, make the
first cut then it's separated out and everyone gets to enjoy a piece of cake.
then there is the first dance where the bride and groom take to the dance floor
a very special song is played for them and everyone watches them have a little
bit of a dance before everyone jumps onto the dance floor and boogies the
night away in recent years we've seen a trend of brides and grooms learning a
set routine and surprising their guests with a fully choreographed dance routine.
in some cases it's led to people being hospitalized
because they try to do things after having a few drinks which they probably
shouldn't be doing. and then everyone just has a wonderful time and there's
usually some sort of book or something going around that people can sign or add
their mark to so that the bride and groom have a keepsake of their own which
has an input from all of their guests, and after all the celebrations have
finished the bride and groom usually go on a holiday known as a honeymoon. so
lots of information there to remember. now like I said this is traditional
weddings and more often these days people are getting more imaginative and
feel like they have more freedom to create a celebration that is tailored to
them and their friends and their families. now if you are married please
do tell me in the comments box below what was the highlight of your wedding.
what's the one thing that you really loved during your ceremony or during the
celebration of your wedding, and if you're not yet married but you hope to
be married at some point in the future tell me the one thing that you really
really want for your wedding perhaps it's a particular venue perhaps it's a
particular person or perhaps you want to have a certain band playing in your
after party, but do open up and let me know your thoughts down below. if you
found today useful please show me your thumb and if you're not already
subscribed then please do smash that big red subscribe button and the bell
notification button so you don't miss any future lessons. until next time guys
thank you for joining me, take care and goodbye.