You’re just going about your day, with a lot of things on your mind. You’re trying to stay
focused and get to your next destination when - whoa! That’s probably the most attractive person
you’ve ever seen in your life, and now your mind can only think about one thing! So much
for focus - it’s like a switch was flipped in your mind the second you felt that surge of attraction.
Most people have experienced it, but few understand it.
What exactly happens to your mind when you get turned on?
Our brains are a complex combination of neurons and chemical reactions, and every thought or
emotion that goes through that grey matter triggers a different combination of reactions.
But few reactions have as much of an immediate impact as sexual attraction, and it would be
very noticeable - if we were actually thinking about the science instead of having our minds on
only one thing. This is the process of sexual attraction, but most people think of it more
as getting “turned on” or “feeling horny”. It can make people act in all sorts of ways,
from stumbling over their words to blurting out inappropriate things. But before your
brain gets you into trouble, understanding exactly what’s going on might just help avoid that slap.
So what is getting turned on, anyway?
Sexual arousal is the combination of the physical and cognitive changes you undergo
when your mind perceives something sexually desirable. This can be the presence of a person,
or it can be the sight of something sexually attractive on TV,
on the computer - or even on the printed page, as many teen boys discovered when they snooped
through dad’s special box of magazines. As soon as the brain reacts, the body responds.
What changes are you going to feel immediately?
The body tends to be pretty subtle with physical indications of sexual attraction. You’d be more
likely to blush, your pupils may dilate, and blood flow will speed up - especially to the genitals.
The nipples may get more erect, but those are probably kept hidden under a shirt.
What might not be hidden, as any guy who suddenly didn’t want to get up from the table can testify,
is an erection. This is when extra blood flow heads to the penis, making it larger and harder.
While this is useful in preparing for sex, it can also make itself very obvious and awkward.
These changes are nothing compared to what’s happening in the brain.
If you asked most people what organ is most associated with sex and love, they might say
the heart. That’s definitely what the companies making Valentine’s Day treats seem to think.
But while it might be more appropriate for Halloween, it’s the brain that’s the star
of the show and makes sexual attraction as powerful as it is. The chemical reactions
it creates when it perceives sexual attraction affect almost every area of the body. That’s
because the brain is in control of the way we perceive the world - through our five senses.
The question of what happens to your brain on sex is so complex,
there have been studies on it - dating back decades.
It was back in 1966 when the first major work on the science of sex was published - and
appropriately, it was published by a pair with experience! William Masters and Virginia Johnson
were both scientists and a couple, and their book “Human Sexual Response” claimed that there was a
four-stage process of sexual response. It started with the initial sexual attraction, where the body
and mind react. Next comes a plateau phase as the body gets ready for sex. Next is the orgasm,
the climax of sex where the changes are the most heightened. Finally, it’s the resolution phase
as the body returns to its baseline but many of the changes can still be felt. While their
research has been criticized for a questionable sample size and too much reliance on the sexual
standards of the day, the basics of how the body and mind process sex are considered accurate.
So how do each of the four stages break down?
The initial arousal stage is all about getting you ready for sex. Some have said that the brain
lights up like a Lite-Brite, with multiple parts of your brain becoming heightened.
These include the amygdala, the hypothalamus, and the superior and inferior parietal lobes.
This doesn’t just affect your thought, it triggers intense emotional reactions that make
you more receptive to the idea of sex and push most other thoughts out of the mind. You’ll be
more suggestible, especially if the suggestion is coming from the object of your affection.
Things calm down next, but it’s the calm before the storm.
The plateau phase is where the body slows down, but maintains its state of heightened arousal.
In women, this just means more of the same, but in men the brain shifts focus to making
some physical changes to prepare for sex - like contracting the muscles for urine release to
create a clean path for ejaculation. And the body wants to make sure it gets to that point,
so the brain’s decision-making abilities continue to be aimed in the direction of one thing - sex.
And the release can only come in one way - an orgasm.
The orgasm is the release of all the built-up sexual tension, complete with
contraction of pelvic muscles, ejaculation, and uterine and vaginal contractions in women.
It can be triggered by intercourse or masturbation, and the impact on
the body is at its most intense during these phases. But as obvious as those changes are,
this is also the phase where the impact on the brain is the most significant.
So what’s happening to your brain on sex?
Researchers have been interested in this question for a long time, and they’ve been able
to use Magnetic Resonance Imaging to get a look inside the brain at the exact moment of orgasm.
The biggest reveal is that while much of your brain is more active during sex,
there’s one area that basically shuts down. That’s the lateral orbitofrontal cortex - the
part of your brain that makes decisions and value judgements based on reason.
That means your brain is saying goodbye to logic during sex, and much of the
fear and anxiety that usually guides us is nowhere to be found. This keeps the focus
on arousal and decreases the odds that you’ll be interrupted by stray thoughts during sex.
In fact, it seems like your entire brain is focused on one thing.
Your brain regions are usually responsible for different functions,
but when your body is focused on sex, a whole bunch of areas concentrate their efforts on
one thing - helping the body reach orgasm. The thalamus is one of the superheroes here,
integrating all the information you might have in your brain including memories of touch
and movement or any sexual fantasies you might have stored in your brain.
Your motor functions are focused on moving properly during the act of sex, and the sensory
cortex that controls feeling in the genitals is heightened and enhancing sexual pleasure.
But two hormones released by your brain are doing a lot of the heavy lifting.
Why does sex and sexual attraction feel so good? It’s all because of one hormone - dopamine. This
hormone is one of the biggest producers of good feelings, giving you more desire and motivation
as well as a general sense of pleasure. It’s formed naturally in the brain,
and this pleasure chemical is useful for creating patterns in your brain. If things like food and
sex cause a release of dopamine, the body will remember this and work to get more of them.
But another hormone may have an even bigger impact.
Oxytocin is secreted by the pituitary gland and distributed by the hypothalamus,
and has a powerful impact on our emotions. More complex than a simple pleasure hormone,
it triggers feelings of closeness to others and makes us want to show affection.
It’s often called the bonding hormone because it creates a sense of attachment,
and is released alongside the hormone prolactin, which creates the sense of satisfaction that
comes with an orgasm. For many, an orgasm is the quickest way to get a strong hit of
these powerful hormones - but they’re released one other way. When a mother breastfeeds, she gets the
same release of Oxytocin as a way for biology to encourage this life-sustaining behavior.
And these hormones affect our bodies in some unique ways.
Studies show that the experience of sexual arousal actually creates some of the same
positive responses as other stimuli. The pathways in our brain that perceive rewards are activated,
and this is much of the same reaction we get when we listen to a favorite song
or enjoy food. But it’s also the same positive response we get when we engage in addictive
behavior like gambling or consuming alcohol or drugs - which may explain why sex addiction is
becoming a common problem for people who seek out that positive response a little
too much. One of those reactions is a decreased sense of pain - meaning that
when people say that they’re “feeling no pain” while on a high, they may take that literally.
But what happens when the cooldown comes?
The “post-sex glow” you might have heard about is a real thing, and it’s the final stage of how
the body reacts to sexual attraction. The brain slows down a bit from its previous high during
sexual arousal, but it’s still active. Not only does it keep cranking out oxytocin to enhance the
feelings of attachment, but the parasympathetic nervous system works at calming the body down.
To do that, it releases the third magic hormone - serotonin. This is another pleasure hormone,
but in a much more relaxed way. It promotes a good mood and calmness,
which is why people often feel like curling up for a nap after sex.
So why does the brain work so hard to make sexual attraction a great time?
The first reason is - well, nature wants us to keep having children. Reproducing is the
only way for a species to continue existing, and it’s the most basic biological urge going
back to the time the first creatures populated the ancient waters of Earth. But it’s also not an easy
process - especially for humans, who usually only have one offspring at a time and take nine months
to do it. So our brain rewards us for having sex and gives us positive feedback when we get turned
on - and conveniently turns off that logic center of the brain to ensure nothing distracts us.
But that’s not the only benefit we get from sexual attraction.
There is actually evidence that having an orgasm provides benefits for the brain long-term.
When having sex, the body increases blood flow to the brain, which can help to keep things moving
smoothly in the brain and improve the chances for long-term brain health. So the body and mind are
working together to encourage an activity that benefits everyone involved - and feels so good
that it becomes a basic biological urge even when reproduction isn’t the first thing on the mind.
But what drives this function more - the body or the mind?
The body reacts to external stimuli and that can trigger an orgasm, but there is a lot of
evidence that the process of sexual arousal is actually driven as much if not more by the brain.
In the case of people who cannot experience genital stimulation due to injury,
studies have shown that other parts of the body can become more sensitive
and be used in a similar way to allow the person to reach sexual arousal.
Areas such as the nipple or the arms become new pathways to pleasure, bypassing the sexual
organs. When it comes to sexual attraction, the brain often finds a way when the body can’t.
One thing is for sure - when the brain realizes it’s turned on, it wants you to know it.
And it’s all hands on deck to send that message to the body and get you to make that first move.
For more on this human impulse, check out “What Happens To Your Body When You’re Having Sex”,
or watch this video instead.