-Boys are inundated with different signals
and definitions of what it means to be a man.
-These are sperm cells.
-Whether it's from movies, comic books,
other friends and adults, or even TV shows,
it can be really hard for parents to navigate.
-For many of us, the best examples we have
are our own childhood experiences.
So I'm chatting with dads
about how boyhood prepared them for fatherhood.
Joe Ghartey is a single father of three.
His middle child, Penelope -- or "Penel" --
is a transgender boy.
For Joe, thinking about his own childhood
helped him put his son's identity into perspective.
When did you start noticing signs
that Penelope was different?
-2 or 3 years old.
So, he had long hair
with these beautiful little pompoms, you know?
It was really cute.
But he wanted to cut it.
Yeah, that's a serious haircut.
Let's look. Turn around.
Then it kind of -- it kept on evolving from there.
So, it was a shorter and shorter haircut,
wearing a dress fewer and fewer times.
He never liked to do the things or wear the clothes
that were "expected" based on his gender.
-What was that like for you? -It's not easy.
First of all, as parents, you never know exactly
what the right thing is to do.
-How do you spell "anxious"? -I think, like most people
in this country, you are raised to play certain roles,
especially if you come from a kind of traditional family.
And it's not that often that you're confronted with questions
that are so deep at such a young age
and so defining in terms of who you are.
But the interesting thing about that process for me
was I found that it was more about my own self-discovery.
My father's Ghanaian, and my mother's Canadian.
And when I was about 13 or so,
my parents decided that they wanted me and my siblings
to get some Ghanaian culture, essentially.
My white mother took us to live in Ghana
while my father stayed here to work.
-What was it like racially navigating Ghana
as both a biracial child,
but also with a white mother as the only visible parent?
-Yeah.
Obviously, when I was in the United States, I was black,
and when I went to Ghana, in the boarding school,
there were 2,000 kids, and I think
I was the lightest-skinned person out of all 2,000 kids.
So, you know, they would call me white.
And I would say, "What are you talking about?
I'm not white. I'm black."
And they'd look at me like I was crazy,
as if almost I told a white person here that I was white.
And they had a little song they sang.
[speaking in foreign language]
And basically it talks about the red white man,
and they were talking about me.
And I think what that did was it allowed me to realize that race
as we know it is really all about perspective.
And it's about often defining differences
to make ourselves feel comfortable.
And in some ways, it is not dissimilar from the way
that people define Penel and say, "You're different.
You are -- This is what you are."
And they're gonna put -- Society's gonna put their label
who you are based upon how you look.
In his case, you know, the genitalia that he has.
And so, you know, that idea of the world putting a label on you
and you not necessarily fitting that label is one
that I was familiar with and felt an understanding for.
I actually sat down and had a conversation with him
and just asked him straight out,
"Do you want me to call you 'he'?"
And he said, "Yes, I want you to call me 'he.
'" Then I said, "Fine, that's it.
I'll call you 'he. '"
-Penelope transitioning to different pronouns
and to identifying as a boy is a big adjustment.
Do you feel like you had to mourn that?
Or how did you deal with that?
-It's funny. I've heard --
People have asked that question before,
whether I've kind of mourned the loss of a daughter, per se.
I did not feel that way at all because I still had my Penel.
-Boo-wah! Hah, hah!
-Because Penel hasn't changed.
So, even though the pronouns changed, really,
the way that Penel has interacted
and interacted with us hasn't changed.
I love Penel for who he is, with the body that he has,
the person that he is, and as that changes,
I'll still feel the same way.
I would love for him to be able to say, "Yeah,
I'm different and I love myself and I'm different."