- Good morning, good life.
Welcome back to Amy TV, where we come together
to help you go after the life you want.
When you're in a negative mindset,
it can almost feel impossible to get out of it,
whether or not something actually terrible
has happened or not.
So if you can relate to being in a rut like this right now
and you are trying to figure out how to get out of it,
I have a few ideas.
If we want to change your negative mindset,
first we need to ask ourselves a question,
who do we talk to the most throughout any single day?
You might be thinking of a few different people.
Maybe it's a child, a significant other,
or a coworker or a boss or a parent,
but the person that we actually spend
the most amount of time talking to is ourselves.
We talk to ourselves all day long,
whether some of us do it out loud or not.
Knowing that you talk to yourself the most
throughout every single day,
from the moment you wake up
until the moment you go to sleep,
you've got to then ask yourself,
what are we doing to try to change
the conversation with ourselves?
Before we can look out and blame the rest of the world
for what's going on with us or how we feel,
we have to take responsibility over the fact
that we could actually potentially be having
a little bit more positive of a conversation.
If in no other way than when we are speaking to ourselves
about ourselves.
Remember our favorite Emily Dickinson quote,
"If you take care of the small things,
"the big things take care of themselves."
You have to be willing to say that you have tried
to work on the small things,
so that the bigger impact will happen.
So what are some of those small things?
Well, instead of starting a day by scrolling your phone,
you can start with intention.
Maybe have a mindfulness moment where you actually journal
about what's happening on your mind.
Another thing that I do to really just set my mind
very very straight is to review and rewrite my goals
as if they are already done.
Maybe instead of when you have that moment
you want to turn the TV on,
whether you plan to lay on the couch and scroll your phone
at the same time, or you're doing something else,
instead of putting on a show that you typically would,
we're putting on a TED Talk or a positive YouTube video,
something where at least that background track
is something that's contributing to positivity,
versus the status quo.
These are really subtle things that we can do
instead of the norm, and they're all things that contribute
to lessening that negative self-talk.
There's never gonna be a point
where we have completely let ourself
be 100% positive all the time.
It's so challenging for that to happen.
But if we can decrease the percentage of time
that the conversation we have with ourselves
is a very negative one, that's a small step
in a really, really, really important direction.
Another idea that you might keep in mind
is also the sponsor of this episode of Amy TV,
and that is our friends at Audible.
You guys have heard me talk about Audible so many times.
I love this app.
I'm so excited because they finally designed
a widget for the iPhone.
If you know what I'm saying, then you know what I'm saying.
I, do not ask me to explain further.
But a lot of people don't know
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Mine has been nine hours lately,
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This intention is what Audible is offering you
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Being able to say that I can go there
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You can even check out audiobooks
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A lot of what I share in terms of changing small things
may sound very familiar to you.
"We know Amy, stops scrolling.
"We know, too much TV, Amy.
"We know, get away from negative people, just ghost them."
And we can keep saying we know,
but then what are we saying about what we don't know
and getting comfortable with being in a don't know mindset
when we are actively trying to be better?
The fact that you would click into this video
and want to learn from me,
what can I do to get out of a negative mindset,
shows me that you know what it takes
to be in a don't know mindset, to be open.
Now I'm asking you, be open about what you keep doing
in your life that's not working,
and be open to swapping it out for something else.
I want to unpack this don't know mindset thing
a little bit more.
I learned about this in the book,
"Dropping Ashes on the Buddha",
which I have to say was probably the hardest,
most challenging book of late that I have read,
in order to keep up with it.
What I've realized by reading that book
and by being in a negative mindset
every once in a while myself
is that sometimes we think we are.
Sometimes we're like,
"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm totally curious.
"I'm so clueless about X Y Z thing
"that I'm passionate about."
But then, when we go to educate ourselves
or we try to be in that mindset to be more accepting
of answers that we may not have taken
as opportunities in the past,
we shut them down early
because we still think we know better.
So what I learned from that
is that when we try to get to a space
when we are really accepting and learning of new ideas,
maybe we should be in completely unchartered territory
in order for us to understand
how it will work to advance our minds.
So here's what I mean.
If I were to sit down at a piano, I would very much be like,
"I know nothing.
"I know absolutely nothing, so I'm gonna sit here
"and I'm gonna try to embrace not knowing
"anything about this and learn something",
so that any time I learn something,
there's that little dopamine hit, right?
There's that little bit of addiction to,
"Oh, I got somewhere.
"I advanced.
"I got a little step.
"I got a baby step and now I'm onto the next one."
By being in a space of, "I know nothing about this",
I'm much more open to learning the best and next steps.
And then I start to realize how big that would be
even in the spaces I think I totally get already.
This is why I've picked up playing piano,
whenever I can obviously make time for it,
and whenever I do it, it game changes where my head is
'cause I can take it away
from the things that are bugging me
and put it towards something new.
I started playing tennis with my husband.
Not because I'm any good, but because I go out there,
I know I'm terrible, and all I can do is do my best
and learn how to not flick my wrist a certain way,
and maybe not backhand if I don't know how to do that yet.
But if I do, then when is the right time to do it?
And I'm so much more open to learning those things,
because I know I'm in a territory I don't get at all.
So if you feel like, "Yes, even in a don't know mindset,
"I will go and watch YouTube videos to advance my cause,
"or I'll read books on things,
"and I still feel like I can't get out of the mindset."
Have you tried something totally different?
It takes removing from the status quo in all ways sometimes
for you to truly see that you have the ability
to have a positive mindset, you just forgot
because you didn't give it anything to look forward to.
Literally the first take!
Are you serious?
I hope this has helped you change your negative mindset,
and I'd love to hear how you're improving on it
by sharing in the comments down below.
That's all for today.
Thank you so much for tuning in, I appreciate it as always.
Remember, subscribe for good vibes,
kiss the ones you love
and go after the life you want.
Cheers.
(Amy playing "Auld Lang Syne")