Amy?
Hi, I'm Cheryl Oberwood, nutritionist to the stars.
Thank you so much for meeting with me.
Phylicia Rashad has said the nicest stuff about you.
She looks incredible, right?
She's 90.
Wow.
Okay, I'm just gonna dive right in.
I can tell by looking you're not the least you can be.
Yeah, no, I'm not.
Well, we're gonna change that.
So what are your fitness goals?
Well, my goal weight. I don't work in weight.
I work in celebrities.
Which celebrity would you like to be the same as?
I would say Christian Bale.
"Machinist", "Metroland"?
"Newsies"? I think "The Fighter."
Okay, now, walk me through what you eat
in a typical day. All right.
In the morning, usually I'll have, like,
some yogurt with some granola
and then at lunch, some salad.
Okay-- Let me ask you a question.
Yeah.
Have you always been a (bleep) trash heap?
Excuse me? I'm gonna find you the perfect diet
You're gonna stick to that diet
and you're gonna become the perfect woman.
Okay, option one: The Instagram Diet.
That's where you order whatever you want,
take a picture of it, post it,
throw it in the garbage.
Tweet it, don't eat it.
I don't want to do that one.
Option two, the Beyoncé Diet.
You find out what Beyoncé eats
and you tell me all about it.
I don't know her.
Option three: The Chilean Miners Diet.
Wow-- They're so svelte.
Have you thought about doing a cleanse?
What kind?
The kind where you eat anything and everything
as long as you don't swallow?
That's just anorexia.
Do you want a third season of your show?
I do. Okay.
The Tapeworm Experience.
Colonic Blastoff. Um...
Cambodian Holiday.
Get Motivated. Oh, what. What's that one?
That's where you are arrested without due process.
I don't think so.
Everest Drop, The Great Depression.
Kentucky Meth Cycle.
Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad.
No?
Tammy from "The Real World," Season Two, Wired Jaw.
Who are your clients again?
Well, have you ever seen the movie, um,
every (bleep) movie?
I work with everyone. (knocking)
Come in.
Hey, guys.
Hi, Angel face!
Amy, this is McClarty-- She's the new Bond girl.
Wow-- What diet did she do?
I just smoke.