- Oh my God.
Are you kidding me?
- I don't know if it's because we're gay
or because we're interracial.
- You go, girl.
- Okay.
- You take that black guy off the market.
(bouncy, introductory music)
- Hi, I'm Sheryl and I'm Hispanic.
- Hi, I'm Alvin and I'm Black.
- Hi, I'm Merle.
- And I'm Aria.
- We've been dating for a year and three quarters.
- Hi, I'm Jeremy. I'm white.
- Hi, I'm Mithila. I'm South Asian.
- Hi, my name is Richmond and I'm Asian.
- Hi, my name is Marc and I'm white.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever fantasized
about having biracial babies.
- [Both] Yeah.
- I don't know the science of how it works,
but I feel like I definitely wish
we could mix some of our genes into a baby.
- I think it would be like the most beautiful baby.
- I have, I mean, just through the nature
of having dated you for this long
and I've thought about what our children would look like
sometimes.
- No.
- Kind of wondered about it
and also kind of wondered about
what kind of conversation we'd have to have with them.
- Let me explain.
- You have?
- Obviously, my kid is not gonna come out fully black.
Maybe the kid is gonna be light-skinned,
maybe the kid's going to be dark-skinned.
Maybe the kid's gonna have curly hair,
maybe the kid's gonna have straight hair,
maybe the kid's gonna have wavy hair.
I don't think anybody who is about to get married
to somebody or is married to somebody and doesn't have kids
doesn't fantasize about the kids
that they're going to have.
- [Narrator] Have never have I ever dated outside of my race
before this relationship.
- Oh. I think I knew that. I knew that, though.
- I have not.
- Yes, I popped that cherry.
- I grew up in a very, very white place
in the Massachusetts.
- You're the first person that I dated really,
so yeah, I didn't really date anyone before you.
- I grew up in mostly a rural small town in Georgia,
so didn't have a lot of diversity.
I mostly just dated other white people.
- I have not.
- I have. Where I grew up, which was in Florida,
for the most part, it's kind of like a melting pot.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever felt stared at
when I'm in public with my partner.
- (gasps) You?
We were sitting in a food court
and there was this group of Latino men
who just kind of stared at you
and they stared at me.
They definitely didn't seem too happy.
- I feel like sometimes it's like, "Oh my gosh,
you brought him to eat pupusas."
I'm not Salvadorian, but I love pupusas.
So, they look at us like, "Oh my God, that's so cool
that you brought him to experience our culture.
- Yeah.
- That's not surprising.
- It's not. I feel like when people stare at us in public,
I don't know if it's because we're gay
or because we're interracial.
I think it's a little bit of both.
- Yes.
- I get stared at around where his family's from,
in rural Georgia, because I'm kind of the only person
who looks like me around there.
- Going to India with her family,
I did get stared at a couple of times.
Cause you know, not a lot of white people walking around,
especially with another Indian family.
- You?
- Oh my god, are you kidding me?
- Oh you mean, I get stared at because,
okay now, you're so good looking,
I'm so good looking.
- We're going to get looked at also
because I'm taller than Aria.
- I don't feel the stares very much.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever
had a family member disapprove
for dating outside my race.
- I have, if you're darker skinned, Latino,
you're not seen as high in society.
So when they see us date outside of our race
and it's a person who's darker than us,
they see it as like not bettering the race,
which is really, really bad.
Now, they love you.
- Wow.
- They cook for you before they cook for me.
- For the most part, my family just cares about
me dating someone who's compassionate, honest, kind.
- My dad would be like "a hundred percent approved"
and my mom would like observe him and be like, "Hmm,
you had an 88% approval today or 95% approval today."
It was more about how much approval.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever felt overwhelmed
by a language barrier.
- Oh really?
- Like when your family visited,
sometimes I like don't fully get what your mom is saying.
I don't know if that's because of the Tagalog
or just because she speaks very fast.
- Marc does know one sentence in Tagalog.
- Thank you, Rosetta stone.
- I've had a couple of times where I've been overwhelmed,
just because everybody switches context between languages
and they don't realize it.
And since I only understand English details, I get lost.
It kind of gets lost for me.
- Remember that time,
so we went in Intero,
at like, after we got engaged.
We were all like, getting ready
and then like, we were telling Jeremy, "Oh,
there's like a dinner party we have to go to."
- I was kind of confused about how to dress
for the dinner party.
- And then my dad was like,
"oh, someone tell him to change."
- Later on, I realized it was an engagement party.
And I was just like, okay,
this is the context that I was kind of missing
during the conversation.
- Oh you haven't. I have,
because sometimes your parents speak in Creole
and it's like, when I'm doing something in the kitchen
and then I'll ask you,
I'm like, what are they saying?
And you're like, I don't know.
- Definitely not what you want to hear.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever been praised
for being in an interracial relationship.
- Really?
- Yeah. I've definitely heard people be like, oh,
that's so cool that like.
- You're dating a white guy?
- Yeah. But also just like,
oh like now you're an interracial couple.
- I have.
- Yeah, I have too.
- Which I don't necessarily think,
we will hope to hopefully be at a baseline
where it doesn't need to be praised,
where it's the norm.
- Who praised you?
- The Internet? (laughs)
- I did have a friend say that
she thought it was like trendy.
It is inappropriate.
So I had to like make a point to tell her that,
which was an awkward conversation
but it's the awkward conversation we need to be having.
- It's a necessary one.
Did you tell her she could get your hands?
- No, I didn't. Next time.
- I don't think I've had anybody
who just like openly was like, oh my gosh,
I am so happy that you're dating a Latina. Wow.
- (claps)
- Like were they like, "you go girl,
you take that black guy off the market."
- (laughs) No.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever had a hard time
understanding my partner's point of view.
- Sometimes.
- Like small things. Like that's also been like,
what's comfort food for me when I'm sick,
it's not comfortable for him. And he's like,
you have to kind of like talk about it
and explain where you're coming from.
- I don't know if this is applicable to all Southeast Asian
cultures, but I know in Laos, Thailand.
You know, the feet are considered well,
literally they are the bottom of the,
of the body where they're the dirtiest part of the body
and the head is the most sacred.
And so you never, you grew up never wanting to point
your feet at someone's face or it being above their head,
like in Thailand,
do not put your feet up on a table.
I had to educate Merle as to why, you know,
like I would prefer if she doesn't, you know,
raise her feet above my head.
- I was lying on the couch and like
Aria's head will be there and my head will be here
and I'll put my feel up.
- She likes to put her feet up here
so that the level of my head,
of course she's not trying to disrespect it.
But then I explained to her.
- For a little while I got like even a little frustrated.
Cause I was like, I'm so,
Like I naturally just had never thought
about where my feet are.
I think I was being more defensive though,
because I was like, wow, you really think I want to, like,
I'm trying to disrespect you or something.
- [Narrator] Never have I ever had to
overcome religious differences with my partner.
- We actually ended up having two different weddings.
One in American, one in India for my family,
the one in America,
we didn't get married in the church, but we had like,
both our moms do readings
from both the different religions.
The wedding in India, we had like a Hindu ceremony.
Both our families fully participated.
- I have.
- I have. When I first started dating you,
you were Catholic.
And I remember we wanted to go to church together.
She was like yeah, you should go to the church that I go to.
- You were the second black person to come.
You walked in and there was like,
there was a spotlight on you, like following you.
- Yeah, everyone started staring.
- My experience was we went to a black church.
We were also like in this position
where we were looking for a new church
that we both felt comfortable at.
But then I felt like everyone was staring at me.
And I felt like uncomfortable because one,
I wasn't raised like raising your hands
or like really feeling the Holy Spirit, which is beautiful,
but I just wasn't comfortable.
- [Narrator] What do you appreciate about
your partner the most?
- He just loves me for who I am,
- How supportive Richmond is.
- I'm all like do things and then consider
and you are not.
And so it's like, really good to have that in my life
to like balance it out.
- I'm also very grateful for her perspective.
- I am most grateful for his open-mindedness
and appreciation for my culture.
- Why I'm grateful about with my partner
is how intentional she is.
I'm just glad that I have that in my life.
(upbeat music plays)