I've been singing for the past couple years, I never thought I was an amazing singer, but
I just love doing it as a hobby.
When I released this song, there was no intent of "Oh, this song is going to blow me up on
the billboards!
This is going to make me a star!"
There was no intent of that, it was just more so expressing my feelings and putting it out
to the world.
I came out of a breakup about six months ago.
Ever since that time frame, I've felt so completely lost in my life, didn't really know what I
was doing, where I was going.
I was in a relationship for five years, so it really messed with my head because as I
was growing up, I was in this relationship and never really had any time to myself.
Just coming out of a five year relationship had me feeling super lost.
I make YouTube videos every day, so for the past six months people have seen me all over
the place.
I have super high days or super low days, where I'm just not feeling it.
I've been really down, and I think everybody is in confusion as to why I've been so all
over the place.
I think this was a really good way of putting into words how I've been feeling lately.
Everywhere I go reminds me of my ex-girlfriend.
For example, we used to live in the same house together.
I still currently live in that house.
So every single day, I just get flashbacks in my head of, like I'll be in the kitchen
and it reminds me of her cooking in the kitchen.
It definitely makes it harder to be in my house.
I've felt very negative energy over the past couple months just being there because these
memories.
I'm trying to get these out of my head and move on, but it's super hard just being in
the same spot where all those memories began.
Heavy lies, is more so relating to being in my bed and seeing her silhouette.
I just feel a weight of pressure on me every time I'm in my bed and I'm not seeing her
there.
The lyric "the crown without the queen" is just me feeling like I once had my queen,
and now I don't have a queen anymore.
It's just a weird feeling, being in bed all the time and not having a significant other.
The feeling of being lost, it's a whirlwind of emotions because some days I feel like
I'm finding myself again but some days, I just completely go back down and feeling like
crap.
Depressed every day, not really know what you're doing, really know where you're going
in life and just not understanding how to get out of that feeling.
I honestly felt like we were good for each other, but we weren't at the same time.
For example, I know every couple argues.
We argued a little bit too much.
As much as we wanted to make it work, we just knew it couldn't.
What has felt different for me since the breakup is now i definitely feel like I'm more independent
than I once was.
There was a lot of stuff that she did for me, there was a lot of stuff that I did for
her, that I didn't really take the responsibility of before.
I actually like that I'm able to do those things now.
I didn't feel confident in myself to be able to perform certain tasks or do certain things
that I can do now.
When I said I want everything back in place for you, at the time of making this song,
I still wanted to be with my ex again.
I knew that it wasn't best but I still wanted to be with her.
No matter what, I'll always have a love for her and I think that's how it is with your
first love always.
Every single day, just gets better and better and I feel more like I can just be alone and
try to love myself first.
The song almost makes a story.
At the beginning you're very confused.
How are you saying, "I'm lost, I'm found," at the same exact time.
When you get to the end of the story of the song, you realize, oh that's what it means.
Every time you come around is the girl coming back into my life and completing
me again.