It's true.
That normal's boring?
No, that no one asked me to the prom.
This pig is everything to me that my daddy never was.
And I'll be ding danged-- [screaming]
I don't care if she tells me a thousand times
that it didn't mean anything--
See.
I want you to meet my parents.
But your grandmother hates me.
She doesn't hate you.
Ah, why'd you bring that one?
Cat!
- Will it come off? - I don't know.
Why didn't you read the label?
'Cause I got distracted by the picture
of the cute grizzly bear.
Don't you guys want to know what that is?
Is it a transporter from the future
that can beam you to another table?
Because if it is, what button do I push?
That's so hurtful.
You know, you don't always have to be mean to everyone.
See, Tori's interested in my device.
I'm really not.
Just keep your hands steady.
- Steady? - Like this.
[laughing]
Cat... what are you doing?
I clicked on rainbow.
[singing]
I don't remember seeing the name Crystal Waters--
- I can't find my mother! - What? Who are you?
Help me find my mother, please!
- Mom! - Shhh.
Mom!
Shut up. We'll find your mama.
Okay. What if, like, a farmer planted a lobster
and a potato in the same hole?
[yawning]
Maybe it would grow a lob-tato.
I swear Cat if I were you
I'd just punched me right in the face.
Ow!
Cat!
What?
You just punched me in the face.
You said to.
[singing]
♪ Come a little closer Come a little closer ♪
♪ Baby, baby ♪
Bonk.
They work.
Hey, you better come help Jade.
With what?
[sighing] She can't get her boobs
in the hamburger.
I mean they have these egg rolls that are so good.
[gasping] One time when I was little,
I had an egg roll with the most amazing sauce.
It was sweet, but also kind of sour.
Ah, man. What was it called?
Sweet and sour sauce?
- Nooo. - No?
One time when I was seven,
I was at the beach and I made a sand castle,
and I called it Cat's castle.
True story.
What I wanna know is what part of the chicken
does the nuggets come from.
Can someone tell me this, please?
I mean, where's the wacky farm that raises nugget chickens?
North Star, how may I assist you?
Another car accident?
Yeah. Ha. I'm sorry, sir, can you say that again?
I can't understand you.
You- you need an ambu-what?
Look at the new costume I made. Can you guess who I am?
No.
You're, ah, little boy poop.
A!
H!
K!
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Cat, what did you say?!
When?
Just a second ago.
I said, "When?"
Boo! [screaming]
[laughing]
Was that loud?
[laughing]
He's like a man baby.
[laughing]
Who changes him?
Hey, what's cat doing?
Hips, hips, wiggle your fists, hips, hips, wiggle your fists.
Heeps, heeps, wiggle our feet.
♪ I'm the biggest bang With the mostest zing ♪
♪ If you're the hand I'm the diamond ring ♪
♪ By the way, I'm here For the song and the dance ♪
♪ Woo-hoo! So, give me one Just one, I've already won ♪
♪ All I need Is just one chance! ♪
Hey!
I did kind of hear you tell Trina
you were going to kill her.
So did I.
But if you're going to try to kill me, too,
then all I heard was pretty music.
Why are we making a student film?
We're not.
So why are we auditioning ladies to play Jessica?
Listen, this is Tori's idea. Alright?
But all these ladies think they're auditioning for a role--
Here. Open.
Yeah, that's right. Cat likes cereal.
Hi. [laughing]
- Hi. - I'm wearing Jupiter boots.
[laughing]
Any reason?
So I can be bouncy.
Where's my house key?
[groaning]
I'll take her to the nurse.
I swallowed it.
Oh my God, Robbie, thank you!
This is the best Christmas present ever!
Look everyone! Robbie got me
a cotton candy machine with a man!
[laughing] Good-bye, Larry.
Let's get to class!
Our pristine little friend, Cat... has never had a taco.
I'm not that pristine.
Wait, what's pristine mean?
I call your five reds... and raise you two yellows.
You gotta put 'em in the pot.
'Kay.
Cat thinks we're a perfect couple!
Cat, are Jade and I a perfect couple?
- Don't answer that! - Answer it!
- Say nothing! - Come on!
You come on!
Well, you made Cat faint.
Your mom's boss must be like a bazillionaire.
He is. He owns a really fancy car
and part of Texas.
He owns part of Texas?
Yeah, but just like the top part.
Cat, where's the switch to put the top up?!
Right there! Under the radio!
Oh.
[pressing button]
It's not working!
I know! It's broken!
♪ 64 plus 9 equals 73 ♪
♪ But please don't feel bad ♪
♪ Now that your car Smells like pee ♪
♪ 'Cause you're still Good looking ♪
Dumb Debbie was so dumb,
she didn't realize April first was April Fools' blank.
I said, "blank".
[buzzer sounding]
Uh, Cat, I said, "blank".
[laughing] I love President Ford!
What's in the box, Cat?
C batteries.
See? Batteries. [laughing]
Anyone want some licorice?
I'll take some.
Jade.
That is a lot of bibble.
Yeah, please don't look at it. It's all for me.
Cat, don't be stingy.
Just give him a little nibble of the bibble.
No!
Come on, Cat, just watch the door.
That way Jade can't sneak up on you.
Okay. I'll just stay right here and I'll watch the door.
[screaming]
[squawking] Whoa.
Cat, don't move.
I gotta go freshen up. Oh.
[screaming]
- You were the one who said-- - Cat, move.
What are you doing?!
I wanted to lick the laser beam with my tongue.
Why?
[sighing] Well...
You wanna know what flavor it is, don't you?
Why do you guys need slippers?
- Grab the Cat. - Yep.
[tapping]
[laughing]
Yay, I'm a kite.
Enjoy.
Now you can tap 'til your feet fall off.
- Beck and I are gonna-- - Ooh.
Stop. It's not a date.
Oh, right.
♪ Tricked out drop tops Shiny and new ♪
♪ A hundred different flavors To vary your view ♪
♪ There's one for me And there's one for you ♪
♪ Watching those LA boys Roll through ♪
Please, get off me. Please.
I can't! Not 'til Jade get's here.
But I have to use the bathroom.
[sighing] Do you really?
Yeah.
Are you lying?
Yeah.
Hey! Butterfly! Get outta there! Do you hear me?!
Hey! Get out!
[gasping] It's out!
Bye!
Wow. Sinjin, you're such a good dancer!
So much better than Robbie!
- Ow! - Oh, Cat! I'm so sorry!
I don't need Rex. I'm a growing boy.
I don't need anybody!
Oh, Robbie, everyone needs friends, especially
weirdos like you who wear turtle pajamas like a doof-bag.
Oh, my gosh, that's where we eat lunch.
Yeah. The PearMaps satellite must have taken the shot
- a few months ago. - From space.
Hi.
Cat, we're inside.
Dang it.
That means Cat gets a...
Doink!
No, can't we just skip my doink! [screaming]
I'm a girl! That's my face!
Cat, if you're just gonna sit there and tweet stupid,
pointless tweets, then please go sit somewhere else.
Tori is being mean to me.
Hashtag... cramps?
What's going on with you?
I saw you here early this morning,
and Jade says she saw you here last night.
Everything is normal!
Cat!
- What are you doing? - No!
Lady! Guys! You're in the way!
[screaming]
- Get her! - Cat!
Wait! Why are you running so fast?
I know an old man named Parnell.
His wife says things to him like...
"Hey Parnell"...
"You wanna eat some pancakes on a rocket ship?"
Nobody ever knows what you're talking about!
[laughing]
You have man breath.