hey guys welcome back thanks for joining
me for another video I'm super excited
about this week's video and if you are
new to my channel my name is Stephanie
I'm a life and relationship coach if you
are a subscriber welcome back thank you
for joining me for another video and if
you are new to my channel you may click
the subscribe button down below so this
channel is all about becoming
emotionally and mentally healthy which
is a tall drink of water but we can
absolutely do it so in this week's video
I want to talk about confidence and I
want to give you some tips on how you
can start creating more confidence in
yourself and be the person that you know
you can be that you envision to be so
the first thing that is extremely
powerful is visualizing who you want to
be so when you think of yourself in five
years in ten years if I set you let's
imagine yourself at the place in life
that you've always wanted to be and
being the person that you've always that
you know you're capable of being and
that you really want to be inside
someone who's self loving and confident
and can take on the world and etc just
someone that really embraces and loves
life right so when you think of that
person I always say visualization is
huge and what I mean by this is really
creating this kind of alter-ego so I
mean I know Beyonce does this I mean I
think there's other people I'm trying to
think of who it is that does this as
well but basically what they do is when
they go onstage when they're performing
this alter ego comes out and this is the
person that's like uber confident that
like knows who they are that can tackle
the world and so the more you visualize
who this person is and what you're
trying to do is wake up every day and
play this character because what we are
looking to do is to change our habits to
change our thinking to change our
programming and in order to do that we
actually have to take action so we can't
just think that you know we're this
amazing person we also have to kind of
back it up but to start let's visualize
ourselves every day waking up and just
being the person that you want to be
what I always tell people is whatever it
is that you're going through in life
every single day you get to wake up and
you get to start fresh
that's an exciting place to be because
that's a powerful place to be because
that means that you actually have
control over your life huh who woulda
thunk so if you have control of your
life every single day then you need to
wake up and be the person that you want
to be if you want to be confident start
being confident shoulders back we're
gonna talk with authority we're gonna
practice doing this stuff the next thing
that is super powerful when we're trying
to increase our confidence and be the
person that we truly want to be as
affirmations now if you are just
starting this process you have to accept
that there is a ton of programming that
is going on in your subconscious right
now and there are things that you are
just used to doing that our programs so
negative self-talk is one of them so
when we look in the mirror the things
that we tell ourselves that's just that
negative programming that negative tape
that's been playing for perhaps years
and years and years or maybe even your
whole life and in order to change that
and to start really believing the
thoughts that you think and this is
something that a lot of people ask me
they say you know when I start doing
affirmations I'm not buying into it I
don't really believe what it is that I'm
saying and of course you're not going to
because you're just learning how to ride
a bike and it doesn't feel comfortable
and you don't feel secure and it feels
like I don't even say inauthentic but it
just doesn't feel good even though we're
saying positive affirmations it doesn't
seem believable and we're not buying
into it yet and that is because this has
not become part of who you are so in
order to believe something you have to
remind yourself and repeat it constantly
until it just becomes a habit and B and
you become a different version of
yourself so like I always say in order
for change to happen in order for you to
be the person you've always wanted to be
you have to take action and then action
at times is gonna be very easy and it's
gonna be believable and at other times
it may not be believable but just
continuing to do it and not giving up on
yourself will eventually lead to the
change happening and you becoming or you
being the person that you've always
wanted to be
now with affirmations when I talk about
anything affirmations are extremely
powerful the words that you say are I
can't even stress just how powerful your
words are so I always say anytime you
have a negative thought it's about
replacing those negative stories and
learning how to do this so the minute
you are consciously aware that I'm
saying something negative whether I'm
getting wrapped up in a fierce story or
a worried story or a stress thought or
whether I just told myself something
really crappy like hey maybe you look
like crap today or you're probably not
gonna get that job because you're not
smart enough whatever it is if you can
consciously catch yourself in the midst
of that fodder of that story stopping it
recognizing oh look here we go I'm going
down the rabbit hole of negative
self-talk and stopping that thought and
immediately replacing the negative
thought this is really huge so
throughout the day whenever you catch
yourself being like oh I just told
myself I'm not good enough okay and
replacing it with something that's
positive it might be an affirmation and
that affirmation might be your mantra
it's the thing that you say over and
over again maybe it's I am a good person
I am loving I am pretty I am okay I am
smart whatever it is or if it's a story
that you're telling yourself replacing
the story with something positive that's
going to keep you uplifted in in a good
space and again you may not really buy
into the story but repeating it over and
over again until that bully in your mind
that negative ego that wound itself
fades away because it's saying okay I
keep wanting to push this negative story
on her and she's not buying it she keeps
repeating this affirmation all right I'm
gonna go away and I'll bother her again
in an hour and then tackling it you know
tackling that bully again in an hour
but it at least shows that that wound
itself that ego that like hey you're not
it's not working today I'm gonna be on
you throughout the entire day until you
just start leaving me alone and the more
again the more we do this then it
becomes believable the other thing that
really builds confidence is action
actions that you take have to be not
just grand leaps in life but really
doing things every single day that kind
of make you a little uncomfortable or
possibly even scare you that builds a
ton of confidence if you have ever done
something and for me the first thing
that always comes to mind is lives
I don't always love doing them because
it's very awkward to be talking to
thousands of people hundreds of people
and you know you're not getting anything
back and you're just talking and talking
so it's almost like public speaking in a
way and so at times that has been
something that very much has intimidated
me and makes me uncomfortable and so
being able to push myself and do lives
and talk in front of people and do
public speaking while it scared the heck
out of me after I was done doing it it
showed me wow I did that and that builds
confidence within ourselves and again it
doesn't have to be huge leaps maybe it's
small little things maybe just going to
the movies by yourself maybe walking
around the mall without any friends or
distractions or a phone and just kind of
being in public maybe that's something
that kind of scares you at times maybe
taking an exercise class all by yourself
and not bringing a friend with you maybe
that's something that you've really been
intimidated by and didn't want to always
do and pushing yourself out of your
comfort zone a little is what will build
confidence and it'll prove to yourself
look I can take care of myself look I
can do this the next thing is and this
is you know it sounds so simple but when
life happens we don't often do this
self-care taking care of yourself is so
important and it's important towards
building confidence it's important
towards really loving yourself and just
mentally taking care of yourself
emotionally physically whatever giving
yourself time throughout the day to
really care for yourself and that could
mean a ton of different things that
could mean I'm going to give myself time
to go read a book and this could be I'm
gonna
give myself time every single day to
exercise and that's something that most
of us always say there's not enough time
in the day I don't have time to go to
the gym I don't have time but it could
just be something is just going for a
walk it could be you know something as
simple as taking a nap right like maybe
not pushing ourselves too much and
saying you know what I need to stand on
the couch for half an hour and close my
eyes and just rest for a minute and do
an affirmation or do a meditation doing
something that really is giving me
self-care because remember how you take
care of yourself every single day
whether it's mentally emotionally
physically spiritually whatever that
shows in your energy so when I'm a
person that self loving and I walk into
a room and I have great energy that's
because I've taken care of myself that
means that I make sure I go to bed and I
have a good night's rest that means that
I take time to do the affirmations take
time to do the meditations I make myself
a priority I make myself a priority to
say hey as much as I would love that
chocolate cake right now I'm gonna eat
something that's gonna nourish my body
and not just something where I'm
indulging and other times maybe
indulging is the thing that I want to do
and it is okay for me to do it having
balance in life right is so so important
towards really a mentally taking care of
ourselves and emotionally the last thing
towards building real confidence in
yourself is boundaries and I cannot
stress this enough boundaries are
absolutely huge so when we learn how to
honor what it is that we need in every
single moment and something that's
really good to start doing is asking
yourself before you do something before
you say yes to someone asking yourself
is this good for me should I be doing
this right now and of course there are
gonna be situations in times where maybe
we help out a friend and we don't want
to because we're exhausted but we love
them and they really need the help and
so we give a little bit more to that
relationship into that friend that's
going to happen but for the most part
you should always be asking yourself is
this good for me should I be doing this
learning how to say no learning and
recognizing when I'm doing some
because I'm trying to please someone
else or because I don't want to upset
someone or because I want someone to
think that I'm a good person because all
of that is not coming from you that's
not you are sent eclis giving that's you
giving to get something and so that's
actually a selfish way of being even
though what you're looking to get is
possibly validation a compliment love
something that you're seeking but you're
doing it for the wrong reasons so
learning how to say no learning how to
set boundaries learning how to tell
someone what you think how you feel
learning how to enforce boundaries with
people when they tiptoe on trying to
violate your boundaries right which are
your standards in life that is huge
towards self-love right and when we know
how to do these things this builds
confidence that hey I can take care of
myself in any situation because I know
how to stand up for myself I know how to
verbally communicate this also shows
that I know how to take care of myself
emotionally this means that I'm not
intimidated to talk to someone and to
tell someone what I think and how I feel
that I'm not worried about how they're
gonna react because I understand their
reaction is on them and they may not
like what I have to say and that's okay
that's something that they have to deal
with and that has nothing to do with me
so this is all part of self-care this is
all part of self-love and all of these
different tips are going to help you to
be the healthiest version of yourself to
be the person that you really want to be
to be the person with a lot of
confidence in yourself that you can take
care of yourself that you are your own
best friend so I hope that you have
enjoyed this video if you did don't
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grown into what it is today and I have
to thank you guys for that so thank you
guys so much and I will see you next
week