- I'm going on a date tomorrow.
- Oh, Ooh.(hand claps) - Stop it. Stop it.
- After 25 years, Evelyn Mok, finally found a date.
- But I am okay. - Ooh ooh. Ooh ooh.
I'm going on a date tomorrow and I... Argh.
I'm feeling... (sexy music)
Stop. - Okay. Okay.
- It's going to be, it's an afternoon date.
It's like, we're going to go have lunch at a thing.
I'm going on the date with the sea captain.
Because he's back. He's back in land.
- Hey. He's back in land. (laughs)
- He's back in land. - He's really nice.
He's really sweet.
- Who is the sea captain?
Is he Swedish? White? - He's Swedish.
- Asian, black?
- He is white Nigel, but I won't hold it against him.
- Okay. How old is he?
- 30.
- Good looking?
- He's cute.
- Great. Sounds perfect.
Suck his dick and marry him.
- Oh my God.
- Why do you do lunch dates though?
- It's not...
- Why?
- Dinner is better or drinks.
- I quite like lunch dates.
Because it's like, Oh, okay.
We get to know each other for the first date.
What if we don't like each other? You know?
- I mean, you can not like each other
over drinks and just leave too.
- I quite like it.
- Okay. - That it's early in the day.
- I never do lunch dates
because, I think it's a bit lame.
That's for business meetings. (Evelyn whispers)
Lunch is for business meetings.
- I figured out.
Don't ask Nigel about dating stuff because he...
Obviously you will go from your own perspective
but your perspective is so alpha
and so, "Oh blah, blah blah, blah.
I've got these dates set up.
I've put them into my schedule."
- Yeah. Come on and sit at my face.
- It's always in the evening.
- Yeah.(giggles) - Yeah. Exactly.
It's always in the evening.
Never lunch dates, never coffee.
So you're an alpha dater.
I'm a beta dater. - Ooh.
- So this is how the betas date. (laughs)
- This is a whole new world to me.
The betas.
That's how you date. - The betas.
- So coffee first, then maybe lunch, then brunch, brunch.
(Evelyn laughs) Then what? Supper.
- You're such a dick. - Then afternoon tea.
When do you get to the fun parts?
- What are the fun parts?
- If someone wants to do a coffee date with me.
I'm like, "No. It's okay."
I just kind of ignore them.
I'm like, yeah. - Are you serious?
- You don't want this to work anyway.
If I suggest a dinner date
and then they say, "Can we do coffee instead?"
I just kind of, no, not interested.
- Really?
- I don't need any more friends anyway.
So I'm not interested.
I just kind of ignore it.
Or I just text back,
" Hmm. I don't think we were looking
for the same things here,
so good luck with everything."
- But what do you mean same things?
You mean like a dinner date is more serious
and more like, I want to have sex.
Is it sex or?
- That's part of it. Yeah.
- Oh wow.
- It's also more fun anyway.
If you want to do coffee dates,
to me, it gives off like friend vibes.
I just want to get to know you.
It's a LinkedIn date.
Kind of get to know someone's career and whatever, you know?
- That's so interesting.
- Too busy, alpha dating saves you time people.
- Alpha dating.
Beta dating gets you more insight
and lets you know people
and I don't know. (laughs)
- I get to know them too.
- And obviously dinner sometimes, but it's very serious.
I feel like...
- No no, I usually start with drinks, drinks, drinks.
- That's easier.
It's like, "Oh okay. We can get to know each other.
And if we vibe, then we can move on.
But if we don't then.."
- Yeah. After coffee dates, where you are
going to have an espresso?
And then you just get all jittery
and productive on the date.
Like what you going to do?
- What? Jittery and productive. (laughs)
There's something good about drinking,
you know, it relaxes you.
Conversation flows better. - Mmmh.
- There's something about the night sky.
And then if there's like dim lighting,
the ambiance changes at the sunsets.
They're just something,
there's movement on your date.
Or you're at a Starbucks.
They get your name wrong. (Evelyn laughs)
"Oh is there wiFi here?
Is there wiFi? What's the wiFi password?
(Evelyn laughs) What's your favorite drink?
Oh yeah, caramel, mocha, latte, almond milk.
- The thing is, you go to an artisinal
kind of local coffee shop
that has a personality and it's nice.
And they grind their own beans.
- Exactly.
- If you like them, if you're interested in them
if you're not that interested in them,
take them to Starbucks.
Take them to Costa. Take them to Nero.
- But if you're not that interested in them,
why not just don't go on the date?
(Evelyn laughs)
- Checkmate beta daters, checkmate.
Why waste both parties time?
- Good point. Good point.
- Okay. Even if you liked then you
bring them to an independent coffee roasters at
and then you’re chatting, “So...
What do you do for a living? (grinding sound)
- They’re grinding the beans.
- Okay. So restaurants aren't like,
boom, boom, bling bling bling. Yeah. I don't know.
- Bung bung bung bling bling (laughs)
- What restaurant?
Bung bung bung bling bling
- Oh my God.
- What kind of third world hell hole restaurants are going to?
Plong plong plong pling pling.
Glasses smashing from air strikes.
- It's the sound of glasses clinking together.
- Where is this restaurant? Syria?
- Stop.
- The ambiance of the restaurant to me is more pleasant.
People chatting, softly chatting in the background.
- Well, I'm just starting out now.
- Yes. I'm very proud of you. - So I'm easing into it.
- I don't know if that came across,
but I'm actually very proud of you.
- Are you? - Did that come across?
- It did not come across. (laughs)
- I'm really hoping this sea captain will be a psychopath.
- Oh my God.
- I really really hope.
Another a hundred thousand views baby.
- Why do you want to make the sea captain a psychopath?
He's a sweet person. I think.
- It's entertaining.
I want you to be safe,
but I also hope he's a psychopath.
(Evelyn laughs)
So listeners, hopefully we'll have a good story.
"I went to his boat and Oh my God, Nigel.
All the chains and whips and a rope."
- Oh my God. - "I'm like,
what do you do here?"
"This is my lair. This is my dungeon Evelyn.
This is what I do at sea."
- So you're trying to put me into some
kind of like 50 Shades Of Gray kind of situation.
- Oh yeah. Yeah. (laughs)
I want to know how to date goes.
That's tomorrow right? - It's tomorrow.
- Text me.
Share a location, in case something happens.
(Evelyn laughs)
If I ever see that dot move towards
out into the sea, I'm like, "Oh, shit.
Something has happened to Evelyn."
(laughs)
If I see the live location slowly drift towards the ocean,
lets call the authorities.
"Hey Swedish police, remember a few months ago.
And there's a woman complaining about a hate crime.
(Evelyn laughs) This woman is now at sea.
Can you go save her? Please?
I believe her name is still on your files
because the hate crime is quite recent.
Yeah. I don't know why shit things keep happening to her.
I don't know. (Evelyn laughs)
But please save her police.
I don't know anything about the sea captain
She just told me on the podcast
he's a 30, white, good guy, beta dater.
They went for lunch. (laughs)
So lame right, so lame."
Lunch date. Do you know what's worse than a lunch date?
A lunch date with a psycho.
Oh my God.
- Because he suggested a restaurant, and he's like,
"Let's go there for lunch."
And I was like, "Okay."
And then I looked it up online and it's closed for lunch.
It isn't even open for lunch,
but I don't know if I should say that
or if I should just meet him there
and then we're like, "Oh no, it's closed."
So should I say that I know that it's closed for lunch?
- You should. Yeah. (Evelyn laughs)
- That's what a normal human being would do.
"Where did they meet, Oh this (indistinct) restaurant.
Yeah, I know it's closed for lunch.
(Evelyn laughs)
But Evelyn didn't tell him, what an idiot.
So he just went to this deserted restaurant.
And acts she's surprised that she got kidnapped.
I know, I know. I keep telling her
that she should tell him.
Yeah, I know."