- So, do you masturbate while doing this?
Because that seems overwhelming.
- Why wouldn't you?
- I'm not embarassed by sexting or anything.
I just never thought to try it out.
- We're not against it, it's just that
we see each other a lot so why bother doing it?
- We live in the same city.
- Like a mile from each other.
- So if I want to sext her,
I'm just going to like come over and sex you.
- Yeah.
- I think our chemistry is great.
- I do too.
- Okay.
- I just don't know how it will be sexting. We'll see.
- Like, would I LOL, would I not LOL?
- No. You would never do that.
- Some mention of a penis is going to happen too quickly
and I'm going to have to remind him
that penises are jarring and they need context.
- Oh, come on! I have more skills than this.
- You know, you want it to be like a roller coaster.
- I get motion sickness so I don't like roller coasters.
- Okay.
- It's just like I don't know how to start it.
- You gotta like warm me up. It won't take much.
- It's good to tell the chef if you have
any food allergies so it's also great to tell
your partner if you have any preferences.
- Yeah, it's also great just to order off the menu.
- I feel like the A plant emoji
is meant for something with girth.
- How's it going?
But instead, I'm going to put, "How's that D goin?"
- I'm going to pass on the photo because
I think she's just gonna expect me to take
a picture of my dick and I'm not going to give her that.
- Yeah, I'll go ahead and send a photo.
- Yeah?
- I think I'm going to take a photo.
- Shut up!
- I'm excited for what it could be.
- One. - One.
- Two. - Two.
- Three. - Three.
- Oh. Kay. Yes. I can work with this.
- Okay, I'm going to read yours.
"Hey sexy. I've been drinking watermelon."
- You weren't as gross as I thought you were going to be.
- See, I told you.
- The house is all ours. Our roommates are out of town.
I can't read that.
- Fresh sheets, that truffle butter, pour it
all over your body.
You free?
- I got a photo for you too.
- Oh wow, boo. Your tongue?
- Yeah, that's reminding you I got a tongue.
- Reminding me and you know how to use it too.
- Just in case you forget.
- Look how saucy I am.
- Oh my God.
- But it's tasteful though.
- I think if he was a little better at sexting,
I'm just gonna let him have this one.
- I think I'm good at sexting.
- I think you were good at sexting too,
but not as good as me.
- Well.
- Maybe well sext like the hour before you're coming over?
- That could work.
- I can't be like at Trader Joe's
getting spinach and getting a sext.
That's too much for me.
- That was fun.
- Maybe we should do it more.
- I would sext again.
- I think I would sext again too.
- So, will we sext in the future?
I really hope so.
- You're never going to get a sext from me.
- At two in the afternoon?
- Yeah, unless I'm having a really weird day.
- Yeah, I'm having like a ham sandwich
and you send me a sext and it's just kinda.
- Oh, but see, the problem is you would like that.
- I would.