(upbeat music)
(heavy metal music)
- Wow guys. What a day, I am exhausted.
- Did you enjoy ravaging the natural world, Staniel?
- Yeah Stan, have you removed all the beauty of this land
for your next moronic endeavor?
- My projects are not moronic.
I need this cobblestone to give that castle another shot.
- Stan, what on earth is all of this?
- It's called Copper Ore, it's everywhere
and I have no idea what it's used for besides taking up my
inventory space.
- Well Stan, it looks like you can make lightning rods
with that copper!
- That's sounds kind of dangerous.
- Yeah, but lightning is very cool.
- Very cool!
- Doesn't lightning supercharge Creepers?
- No idea, but lightning supercharges my good mood.
- I do love summoning the overwhelming power
and chaos of the universe.
- That sounds more dangerous than the supercharged Creepers.
- Well, I guess it's settled, time to make lightning rods.
This is going to be so rad.
(screaming)
Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.
This was such a bad idea.
- You think Stan? You think this is a bad idea?
- The might of the universe is scary.
- I think it's finally over guys.
- That was so scary.
(screaming)
- Oh, this is ridiculous.
Who could be knocking on our door?
- Hello? - Nope.
- Who was it? - A Creeper.
- You're kidding!
- I am not. And I would
like to wake up from this nightmare now.
- Greeting.
(Both scream)
- Get a grip, guys, I've never heard a Creeper talk,
there was clearly something bigger at play here.
- May I have a moment of your time?
- Uh.
- I see your verbal communication skills are subpar to say
the least, but that is okay.
I shall speak slowly and limit the range of my vocabulary.
Now Stan, I believe that is the name
I heard your friends exclaim,
my companions and I come in peace.
My name is Creeper and by a miraculous turn of events,
your lightning field has freed me from my previously
mindless existence. I have been launched into a new,
more complicated world to dissect and understand.
The sublime feeling of deep thought
and philosophical quandaries,
fill my heart with joy and no uncertain terms.
I am very smart. I want to thank you and offer a bargain.
You allow my companions and I
to build a Haven for our kind in the field below.
And I will reward you with knowledge.
You will learn how to build tools of great power
and great destruction.
- Hmm, sounds an awful lot like nerd (beep)
What if I refuse?
- I'll let my friend do what what he does best.
- Well, I would love to do some nerd (beep)
- Good.
(upbeat music)
I honestly didn't know a creature could be so stupid.
I'm shocked he even knew how to make a crafting table,
nevermind a lightning rod.
(laughter)
I am reminded of the delightful theorem,
an infinite amount of zombies with infinite books will
eventually write Hamlet.
Well, my compatriots,
it would appear as though the being known as Stan is the
titular infinite zombies,
a toast to his infallible stupidity
and the more moronic machinations of his empty headed
partners. For without their poor judgment,
we would not be able to share this moment together.
- They said what?
- A lot of mean stuff about me and you.
- Only I'm allowed to be mean to me.
- Yeah, something about tits too, I think.
- Risque'.
- What a bunch of jerks.
- What are you going to do, Stan?
- What I do best, ravage the land.
Sucks to suck, nerd.
(explosion)
- Wow, this amethyst stuff must be pretty valuable
if it's this rare.
- Yeah. I don't know about that, but valuable
I can get behind, all the shiny things are valuable.
- [Both] Whoa.
- It's so shiny.
- And there's so much of it.
- We're going to be rich.
- Let's go give Pork Chop the good news.
- Three hundred and fifty two three hundred and fifty three.
Three hundred and fifty four.
Whoa, you guys found a lot.
I also got a ton of emeralds. Look at this.
- No time for that now
we have amethyst, an obviously superior material.
- Ah, cool. What does it do?
- Well, we're about to find out.
Aha!
- That's probably kind of useful, right?
- I don't see any mob farms around here, do you?
Ugh, it's useless.
- Wait no, there's another thing.
Make that one.
- This one's kind of cool.
- No, it's not.
I have OptiFine. It's just more junk.
- Well, crafting is a bust.
What else can you do with blocks in Minecraft?
- This is a
- Gaudy.
- Sparkly!
- Face it. This stuff is horrible to build with.
It's like an obnoxious version of purpur.
- Well what are we supposed to do with all this amethyst
we collected then?
- Well we wanted to get rich, right?
- Hey, if we're trying to get rich, I got a ton of emeralds.
I can-
- Let's go scam the villagers with these!
- No.
- Oh.
Well, what do we do now?
- About those emeralds I got.
(upbeat music)