Why Gobbles a gentlest jailer ever to gouge a prison's eye.
Welcome back to my dark corner of this sick world.
'And pray that I may never turn my interest upon you. Hahahaha'
The Undead is one of handful of Roger Corman films, which include Attack of the Crab Monsters
and Little Shop of Horrors scripted by Charles B. Griffith
'Thou art the author of the piece'
films which are cheap and badly made but are saved by their utter madness
'They say the enchantment destroyed my reason'
This one was originally scripted in iambic pentameter
'Tell what you mean and speak clearly'
Following a brief introduction by the devil...
'Here's a story of my eternal work'
we meet mad hypnotist Quintus who doesn't just regress people into their past lives
'Then the regression is physical as well as mental'
He actually transports them there
'And where will you find a subject weak-willed and impressionable enough to arrive in the required depth of trance'
'Diana'
Prostitute Diana Love doesn't get a whole lot of respect
'Her type is the most easily influenced of basic character groups,'
'... almost devoid of will power. That is why I chose one of her class.'
I'm right here!
'Although I dare say she has no idea what I'm paying her for'
And she arrives in her past life at a bad moment
'How fares the witch'
And things gets weirder
'I'll make you final night a pleasure.'
'Don't back away'
Obi Wan?
'What voice is that I hear?'
'It's me - you - both of us'
Well that's cleared that up.
Diana - now called Helene - escapes,
and much of the rest of the movie is a back and forth game of hide and seek in a medieval England
that appears to be about a mile across, because it was shot in a disused supermarket
'I meet thee everywhere'
Helene is not a witch, but Livia, played by soon to be 50ft Woman Alison Hayes,
is the best dressed witch in the middle ages.
and can turn into an owl, an iguana for some reason, a cat
and one of the monsters left over from It Conquered the World.
At the other end of the witch scale is Meg Maud
'Perhaps I'll turn thee into an owl to catch mice for my cauldron'
One step away from a gingerbread house
'I have some conjoring to do'
Livia trying to kill Helene so she can have the handsome Pendragon, which, by the way, is how it's pronounced
'First Pendraon give to me thy gift of one embrace, no more'
The plot seems to be settling down to something sensible, almost pedestrian, and so...
'What is it you fear?'
Quintus, concerned for Diana's safety in way he certainly wasn't earlier, uses her mind as a link to go back in time himself.
'According to certain priests in Nepal, I could follow her'
arriving naked as terminator.
Although retaining his watch.
'The rational mind can accept just so much'
Meanwhile at the witches sabbat, Satan offers to save Helene for Pendragon, but for a price
'Then thou must sell thy soul'
he is saved by Quintus, who suggests the rental option
'Don't sell Pendragon, rent him your soul, say for a month'
Take it for a test drive, you'll thank me later
'So Quintus you have slipped at least the bonds of time'
You'd think Quintus would register surprise at meeting Satan
'And to think I'd never believed in witches'
Now I'm happy to accept pretty much whatever
'I'll have known the most intriguing drama of my life'
No kidding, because now there's the question of timelines to sort
'Her past! We have altered it'
'Diana love and all the lives she would have lived will end. That is they will never be born at all.'
This wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff gives the film's conclusion an unexpected pathos
as Helene must choose between life with Pendragon now followed by eternal death,
and immediate death followed by innumerable future existences,
who then speak to her through the centuries begging for their lives
'give me life'
'I am a mother give me life.'
'I am a dancer give me life.'
'I am happy give me life.'
Which I found quite moving, unlike Quintus's attitude, which I found quite confusing
'I'm not a cruel man, but I can't help being fascinated'
He doesn't care about Diana
'A wanton woman of the streets'
but went back in time to save her
'If she does not die where and when she did in the unchaged past she'll die now'
then becomes gleefully interested in seeing what happens if you tear time apart
'And frankly, I don't care which course she takes'
for which he is properly punished
As with all films that mess with timelines, this doesn't hold up to scrutiny
'Death now life after, Life now, death forever.'
And like most of the Corman-Griffith collaborations this is cheap badly made rubbish
'It's nothing but Sunday Supplement nonsense'
But it's tongue in cheek
'Time has little meaning in Tibet'
Allison Hayes is having the time of her life
'I smell 8 quarts of human blood that will soon enrich the grasses here'
And if you can't enjoy a past-life, time travelling film with ghost dancers
beheadings
'A head is needed!'
and a dime store devil
'Behold the subtle working of my talents'
Then you're watching the wrong show.
'Excuse me did I say nonsense?'
Oh, and I've no idea why it's called The Undead.
'Horrible, horrible choice.'
Thanks for watching, see all our Roger Corman reviews here.
Screenwriter Charles B Grithiths films are always worth watching...
Are there any other screenwriters whose name will get you to watch a film?
Let us know below.
'Say how much longer must I stay in this crummy joint.'