Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be likeable?
Right? To have everyone like you instantly? Have you ever tried to make people like you? Right.
If this is something that has been on your mind
or you've been searching for ways to become more likable, then this is the video for you.
And by the way, what I'm about to share is not a popular point of
view, right. Because there's a ton of information,
a ton of noise out there that talks about how to be more likeable and they,
they say things like body language,
tonality, what you can say, what you can share,
what questions you can ask them, and that's all the information
you can get somewhere else. And that's not what I'm about to share here.
So if you're looking for something more
popular or something more like in time in with what everybody else is saying,
then this is not the video for you. But if you're looking for some real real truth,
the wisdom of how to become the person that you are inspired by,
and if you want to have that transformation from the inside out,
then this is the video for you. Because I'm here to share with you truth from the wisdom of the ages.
I'm here to share with you something that is transformational,
not here to reiterate or summarize
what others have said or other popular articles or videos out there,
that's not what I'm here to do. I'm here to speak and have a conversation from the heart.
All right, so when it comes to being more likeable,
I'm here to tell you the truth to speak the truth into your
life so that you could have a transformation
and live an inspired and fulfilling career and life as well.
So when it comes to being likeable, being likable is not a meaningful goal.
It's not a meaningful objective. And here's what I mean by that,
when you strive to be likable, you have absolutely no control
over how other people decide to feel about you.
Whether or not they respect you, like you, don't like
you, they feel that you're productive, or maybe they feel,
they decide to feel that your you have other alternative motives.
You cannot control how others decide to feel about
you or how they decide to create perspectives around you.
You have absolutely no control over that. So as a result of that
lack of control, if we set a goal to be likeable, to make others like us,
then all of a sudden we lose absolute power.
We become disempowered in our lives because we are focusing on goals that we can’t control.
We can’t influence. So as a result of a goal like that,
that's what creates so much anxiety.
It creates the fears that we experience, the nervousness,
the lack of self-confidence, and this lack of self-esteem
sometimes when we, when we set goals like that,
so that's why it is as an executive coach for more
more than 10 years, one of my missions is to empower you to speak truth to you.
And not to allow or to encourage you to set goals that can create outcomes like that.
Because in order to live an inspired life,
we set inspired goals and from those, from
those inspired goals every action we take now we have the control.
We have the empowerment to influence those outcomes.
So here's what I'd like to share. Being likable is not a meaningful goal.
However, being liked is a symptom,
it's a collateral outcome to something more significant,
which is a greater goal. So here's what I mean by that,
when it comes to human psychology,
every individual, it doesn't matter how senior they are in a company.
It doesn't matter how popular they are or how intelligent they are,
what their background is, what, where they grew up, what language they speak.
It does not matter. Every individual,
right? The essence of human desire,
there's a universal desire
and that is, every individual desires to be appreciated and understood for who they are,
and that is a meaningful goal, right?
It is a meaningful goal. So if you will strive,
if you will strive to create an experience for other people,
where they can around you, they can appreciate,
they can feel appreciated and understood for who they are,
then the collateral outcome from that is that you will be likable.
Is that the collateral outcome is that they will like you.
You see the primary goal can't be to be liked if that's your primary goal then it is about
you but you're you're,
you're feeling about yourself
or that sense of accomplishment depends on someone else deciding something,
which you have no control of. But if you set a goal that is for them,
how can I create this experience for someone else?
How can I be, who do I have to be in order to have to have somebody else
feel appreciated, that they feel understood, that I get who they are,
and I appreciate who they are, and I understand their perspective.
How do I create that? Who do I need to become? How do I need to show up?
If you set goals like that, it's more meaningful.
And now there's no anxiety. There's no need for anxiety or nervousness,
because now, there's no performance to make,
it’s from your true authentic self. Right?
So, being able to achieve those outcomes,
the collateral outcome of being liked,
right? Liking is also in correlation with learning,
so learn about what is important to them.
Learn from them, what they are dedicated towards.
Learn from them what are their top priorities for themselves?
What do they desire? What are they, what's important to them?
What are they dedicated towards? And when you learn from that,
all you got to do is communicate in accordance to
that and help them to to be on the same side of the table as them.
Go on the same side of the table
as them so that they can genuinely feel that you appreciate who they are.
And then there comes the law of reciprocity, right?
When they can sense that you are genuine,
you are authentic, and you genuinely want to understand
what is important to them and you genuinely appreciate them who they are
after you've uncovered what's important to them, and you genuinely understand their perspectives,
after you've taken the time to understand what's important to them.
When they sense that from you out of authenticity and genuine curiosity.
Now, the law of reciprocity says that now,
there is a fair exchange and they want to get to know you.
So that's what I mean by the collateral outcome of liking is learning,
learn about them. Then they will be interested to learn about you.
Now, they will be interested in knowing who are you?
What are you dedicated towards? What's important to you?
And the collateral outcome is liking,
right? So this is where you can ask questions to explore because when you ask questions,
you're demonstrating interest, curiosity
and investment in them so that you can create an outcome that they desire. So that
you can create an outcome where they feel connected to you.
And this is also how you build trust instantly as well.
So I want to hear from you because I'm giving you a lot of knowledge.
I'm giving you a lot of principles as well, from human behavior and also from communication,
but I want to hear from you because knowledge is not power.
Knowledge is potential power, application of knowledge becomes wisdom and that is power.
So I want to hear from you comment below, what have you learned?
I want you to now acknowledge and write it out.
What have you been doing to get to be more
likable? what have you been doing? And how, what are you going to be doing differently?
And as well, remember to subscribe to my channel if you haven't
already because every single week I release videos like this where it is straight talk,
no fluff and original content.
So I look forward to hanging out with you in my next video.