J: Hii!
C: Hello!
J: Hello, lovelies.
J: So, you've already clicked on the video - you know what this is.
This is - I've dragged my lovely wife into it - lesbians guess lesbian slang.
C: I'm going to be really, really bad at this.
J: Me too.
C: At least you've been a lesbian all your life! You should be in the lingo.
J: What?!
C: You should be in the know.
J: That means nothing! How--why would I know this?
J: You've been half-Malaysian all your life, do you speak any Malay?
J: So, Clara, doing her best friend duty,
has put together some words for us.
C: Are they stuff that Clara knows?
J: No!
C: No(!)
J: She Googled. She Googled "lesbian terms."
C: I bet she's looked up the most obscure things.
C: OK, so I've gotta--we've gotta look at them, or I say and you have to guess?
J: Yeah.
C: Why has it got this weird-shaped cut-out? OK, anyway.
J: Oh! That's not a lesbian term, that's from RuPaul's Drag Race!
C: I know what that is.
(J: Which Clara watches way too much.)
C: I don't even watch Drag Race, but I think I know what that is.
J: Go on.
C: Is it like when someone's like...casting darkness onto you? Like, looking at you badly? Judging you?
J: Yeah.
J: They're being shady.
J: It means, like, I'm throwing shade at you; I'm being shady.
J: OK, what's a good description for this?
C: It's kind of, like, judging--it's thinking you're better than someone else, like...
J: Yes!
C: Like, standing taller over that person.
C: Like, "You're nothing."
J: [Gasp] Maybe there's some kind of umbrella involved.
J: Like you're in the shade because I am shading you from the light of righteousness.
C: I don't think there's ever an umbrella.
C: It's not like you go, "Oh, my God, look at that man throwing shade"
and he's like standing there with an umbrella in the club.
"Yeah, too damn right, you know?! I'm throwing --" OK, I'm going to shut up.
I can't even do an impression of a gay man.
J: What was that?!
J: I don't know, I don't know.
C: Anyway, shall we see what the actual definition is?
C: "Slang for in...sult..."
J: Can you not read her writing?
C: No.
C: "Subtle sneering expression of contempt for or disgust with someone. Verbal or not."
C: Yeah, see?
C: Ding! Tick!
J: He's shamed now.
C: It's 'cause I'm casting--I'm giving him the, what was it? Shade.
J: Yeah, you're shading him.
C: Yeah.
J: OK!
J: Next one.
J: [Whispering] I know this one.
C: Someone who is always bottom?
C: In sex?
J: Yeah, but not necessarily, because the bottom can still give.
J: No, 'pillow queen,' I'm pretty sure, is someone who only takes.
J: Who only receives.
C: That's what I meant.
J: But being a bottom doesn't mean you only receive.
C: Yeah, but I meant, like, someone who lies down and takes it all.
J: Yeah.
J: She gives nothing back.
J: "A girl who likes to receive oral sex, but never reciprocates."
C: Ah, see, we were kind of both--we were both on that one.
J: Yeah, tick for us both.
C: Ting!
C: Spelt 'u' (letter) haul.
J: That's the name of a company.
J: Yeah, they have moving trucks. I think this is to do with the fact that lesbians move in together very quickly
after they meet.
C: Ah, so it's like, "Oh, they did a complete U-Haul."
Like, they kind of met and moved in together within, like, a day.
C: Right.
C: Ah! "When lesbians move in together after the first date."
C: "Stereotype that lesbians get serious very quickly."
[Bing]
C: First date. Well...
J: Would we know anything about this, Claudia?
C: Ours was not the first date. It was like, you know...third or something.
(C: Here you go, you want that one?)
(C: Yes.)
C: Someone--is it like a star? Like, someone who has never been with the other sex.
J: But that's--but a 'gold star' is someone who's--yeah. A 'gold star' has never been with the other...
J: But then 'platinum gay'...
J: Maybe the same?
C: Yeah, I think they're the same.
J: Always gay? Super gay?
J: Extra gay.
C: Maybe it's you. Like, someone who's known they've always been gay. Never, ever been like...
C: Never had to come out.
J: Oh. OK. We'll find out.
['Incorrect' buzzer sounds]
J: No(!)
A 'platinum gay' is a gay man who was born through a C-section and has thus never touched a vagina.
C: Oh, we were similar!
C: It was like someone who has never been...
J: That's not similar(!)
C: No, it's like, to the extreme.
J: That's really specific.
C: 'Gold star' is, like, never ever been with the same sex...
- the opposite sex -
it's where...
J: 'Gold star' is lesbian-specific.
Did you also learn it from The L Word?
C: Maybe...
C: Is it even a thing?
C: I'm pretty sure, like - I can probably confidently say 90% of lesbians...
J: Yeah?
C: ...have either watched or at least heard of The L Word.
J: I just read the re-caps on After Ellen.
J: Yeah, I watched the first episode and I got really turned off when the lesbian sex didn't happen
and the first sex that they had was straight sex.
J: I was like, "Why am I...? I'm not watching--why?"
J: Why am I watching a lesbian programme for straight sex? I'm not.
C: Oh, you mean with Jenny?
J: Oh, wait, did either of us get a 'ding' there?
J: I'm gonna say no.
C: I think we were close!
C: It was like 'eh.' It was like 'ehh.'
J: No, because this is gay men-specific...
C: It was like a [monotonous] 'ding' - not an exciting 'ding.'
J: It's a 'dong.'
J: It's a dong.
C: No euphemism intended.
C: So, you were talking about men... Anyway.
C: That is what you call it, isn't it? "My dong."
J: I don't know what they call it nowadays.
C: Well, talking of which...
(C: Sorry!)
J: Don't just do it again!
C: What's a 'bean-flicker'?
J: Masturbation!
J: I learnt that from Andrea.
C: It's someone who's like, yeah, you know...
C: A 'bean' is like a little nickname for...the clitoris.
C: I was going to be, like--all, like--but then I was like, "Well, that's what it is."
C: So, we both agree that's what it means?
J: Yes!
C: OK.
C: "Slang for woman who masturbates another woman!"
J: What?!
J: Another woman!
J: That's just fingering.
J: Isn't it?
C: I think if someone said, "She's a bean-flicker," I would be like--I would assume she -
C: OK, here you go.
C: Particularly wanted the bean-flicker one.
C: Yeah, if someone said, "Oh, she's such a bean-flicker," I would be like--I would think -
C: Oh, Tilly's getting involved now.
C: Anyway.
J: I don't think we should get points for that.
['Incorrect' buzzer sounds]
C: Oh, OK.
J: Oooh!
J: I know this one.
C: Is it like a party for, like, lesbian ladies?
J: I'm pretty sure that kiki is when two drag queens have sex with each other.
C: I thought this was a lesbian slang, this is not -
J: This has really gone off the rails.
C: This is basically like RuPaul slang, Clara!
J: This is not what we expected, Clara!
J: OK.
J: Woah.
J: Oh, no!
J: No.
J: I was wrong.
['Incorrect' buzzer sounds]
J: It's 19... I think that says, "40s" -
C: Yeah, 1940s.
J: "1940s slang for a lesbian comfortable with either a passive or aggressive partner."
J: Well!
C: They want that one.
J: You learn something new every day, don't you?
J: There you go.
J: She clearly was the aggressive one.
C: All right.
J: That's a big "no-no," [?]
C: They're so good that they're not taking them out the bowl, but they'll take them once we give it to them -
once we're done with it.
J: OK!
C: What's...'spaghetti'?
J: A food source. I don't know.
C: Is it someone who hasn't, like...tidied up down there?
C: Oh, excuse me!
C: I haven't finished with the 'spaghetti'.
C: She's like, "Spaghetti?!"
J: Oh! Is it when your legs get all twisted?
C: Ooh, yeah, like lots of limbs [?] -
J: Yeah, because then you'd have lots of legs.
C: - of spaghetti.
C: Maybe it means, like, sex with more than two women.
(J: Don't know what I'm doing right now, but...)
C: "A girl who is straight..."
J: Ohh!
['Incorrect' buzzer sounds]
C: "A girl who is straight until wet"
"by another girl, obviously."
J: That's genius.
C: I don't get it.
J: Because spaghetti is, like, straight...
but then you get it wet, and it goes...
C: Ohhh, I see!
J: ...bendy(!)
J: We're going to have to make a part two.
J: How did we do? Who won?
C: Oh, yeah. I don't know.
J: Oh, that's crap.
C: I think we got the same amount.
J: That tally is beneath, right here!
J: Either I won or you won(!)
J: Yay!
(J: Now you look happy.)
C: Woo!
J: One of us won.
C: The dogs won.
J: Well, I hope you enjoyed this video, and maybe you learnt something.
J: Maybe you didn't. Maybe you knew all these all along.
J: Give us a 'like' if you enjoyed it.
J: Please tell me in the comments what words we should do next, for next time.
J: There needs to be a next time.
J: Like, actual lesbian terms.
C: Why don't we talk about things like...a stone?
J: When we spent, quite a while ago... [?]
J: "Stone? Is that--is that a lesbian thing?"
"Stone?"
C: Yeah, no, I knew what it was, what you talking about?
C: Anyway.
J: Thanks, wife!
J: This has been a good video(!)
C: Byee!