- Hey, I'm Zach, and I have a secret.
(paper crinkling)
Over the last few years, I've made
a lot of videos about my dating life.
So I'm single.
I'm single as fuck.
I'm super fucking single.
I've always been single.
So you were saying-- oh!
Or, more accurately, lack thereof.
Through my early twenties,
I never managed to hold on to a real relationship.
There were dates, there were flings,
there were definitely crushes,
but nothing that ever really stuck.
You may see where this is going.
(upbeat music)
(keys jingle) (car unlocks)
The reason for my singleness is, honestly,
probably bigger than I can fit into one video.
But, suffice it to say, that's it's a mixture of
a lack of confidence, insecurity,
poor time management, and, frankly,
just never really having a strong sense of self.
Get some toilet paper while I'm here.
It got easier to just stop trying,
and throw myself into work.
Eventually, I decided to just wear my status as a badge.
Howdy, I'm the sheriff of Singletown.
Single, Singleville.
Singleville?
Cody, what do you think?
Get out of here.
But, everything changed when I met her:
my secret.
Admittedly, drawing is not my strong suit,
but, you know, I wanted to illustrate this somehow,
so, this is what we got.
My secret is smart, she's sweet,
she's weird as hell, and every single day,
I find something new to love about her.
Meeting her has changed me fundamentally.
She took my fake confidence
and replaced it with real confidence.
She encouraged me during
the hardest work period of my life.
She pushed me to get a diagnosis
and to start prioritizing caring for myself.
She makes me laugh.
And now, here's the real shit,
because we have been dating now
for over two and a half years.
(mimics explosion)
(explosions)
(birds chirping)
(gasping)
We're not just, like, kinda dating.
We recently moved in together,
this is our living room coming together.
We raised a puppy together.
You got anything to say?
It's very, very real.
I should clarify that my friends have known the whole time.
It's just been a video secret.
I'm not a total sociopath.
Yeah, no, no.
This all, of course, begs a few questions,
the first being:
What the fuck is happening right now?
And yes, I get the shock, but--
Okay, second question, what the fuck,
dude, you've been lying to us!
That's not a question, but, but yeah.
Yeah, I have been lying,
because honestly, I've been scared.
Scared shitless that I was gonna somehow
mess this all up, and the day after I announced,
hey world, I'm no longer the single guy!
She was gonna be like,
um, hey, by the way, we're breaking up.
And I would then have to come back and be like,
I'm once again the single guy!
Again.
And, on the flip side, I feared
what it meant to date me,
to date someone whose entire, unscripted life
is broadcast on this weird platform
for like literally millions of people to see.
Dating in the public eye is weird.
It's not something that she asked for.
She doesn't do this,
and I've seen it go bad for some
really, really incredible people
in some really strong relationships.
Knowing that people would find out who she is,
talk about her, that some would maybe judge her.
Dating me was opening her up to all of that.
It's really fucking scary.
So, I decided to keep it a secret.
Obviously, we changed our mind,
because you're watching this video.
(upbeat music)
I thought for a long time about crazy ways
to cram two years of grand, romantic gestures
into the climax of this video
as a way to announce her and our relationship to the world.
A sky writer, a marching band,
dozens and dozens of roses,
a commemorative tattoo,
her name on a Jumbotron,
getting a planet to be renamed after her,
a shrine in her honor!
(upbeat music)
This, this whole thing was a lot more
impressive looking in my mind.
In the end, I've opted for this.
Me, a camera, and a declaration.
Hi, Maggie.
No, I'm not gonna do it that close.
Hi, Maggie.
It's me, Zach, your boyfriend.
And I just wanna say to you,
in front of every single person who is watching out there,
you changed my life.
you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
You are my happiness, you are my balance,
you are my sanity.
You are amazing, and so, so easy to love,
and clearly, the better half of this relationship.
You already know all of this,
and I want everyone watching to know it too.
I love you.
Blegh, I know, I know, it was super fucking cheesy,
but I have four years to catch up on,
so just bear with me, I'm almost done.
Because my secret isn't just a person.
She's the best person.
Her name is Maggie, and she's my girlfriend,
and I love her more than the moon loves the sun,
which is a dumb thing that I said to her once
when I was trying to remember the phrase
"to the moon and back."
Don't worry, she's made fun of me for it
in every birthday and holiday card ever sent.
We got to grow together on our own terms,
just the two of us,
but now it's time to let you in on the fun.
I ship us, yeah.
Look, you're not gonna see her
on the channel every single day,
but trust me when I say that we,
meaning you and I, you watching this,
we've got a lot to catch up on.
So hey, I'm Zach, and I have a secret.
I'm in love.
(upbeat music)
Hey, just finished filming.
- [Maggie] Oh yay
mumbled: I love you (kissing)