I think for me getting over someone in a relationship is a lot easier than getting over someone
who died.
I think ’cause at least that person is still there.
But I think when you lose someone in terms of bereavement you could just be kicking about
one day and I don't know, you see a melon.
And you think, “Oh my Grandmother loved melons.”
That sounds...My grandmother loved melons.
Six months after I wrote the original melodies, I'm in a session with friends of mine called
TMS and RØMANS.
We're just kind messing about with this other idea that's very uncharacteristically for me, upbeat
and very happy.
I show them these melodies, and they were like, “Cool, let's work on this, this seems
like it's got legs.”
I think it was one of them that said, “You know you don't have to write a song about
your relationship that broke up.”
Which sounds very simple, but once you've been doing it for three years, like writing
about that same relationship, it's very hard to get yourself out of that space.
I just didn't want to write about me again necessarily, like so directly about me, and
my experiences.
I wanted to keep it broad for people to kind of find their own thing.
Because that is one of my favorite things about playing shows is people coming up to
you and being like, “This is why I love this song, and this is story it connects”,
do you know what I mean?
Like I love that, so I thought let's write a song, that's less about me so it kind of takes the pressure
off writing about you know, death.
When things are great, they’re brilliant, and everything's amazing, and you're kind
of like it seems like nothing can go wrong, and then just over the course of like a week,
things can just turn, and then you've got all this stuff, that is just so much pressure,
or whatever it is.
Do you know what I mean?
And yeah, it can just sometimes feel like you're going a bit mad without that other
person there, it's harder to kind of consolidate your thoughts a bit, and it just feels like
everything's a bit of a muddle.
They’re bringing in this new law, I think it's UK-wide now, I'm not 100% sure on that,
but we have to opt-out of organ donation now.
So, you’d say “I don't want to be an organ donor,” as opposed to “Yes, I will be one.”
I was like, “It’d be amazing to kind of raise awareness for these charities”, it
was Live Life Give Life, and Save9Lives.
It was cool to kind of have something else...It was another story that applied to it.
It was initially a very emotional thing and not the physical aspect to it.
But then, you kind of start to interpret your songs differently.
You don't even know that someone being there is numbing the pain, until they're gone,
then you're like “Oh my god, was this just kind of just lurking underneath everything the
whole time, and it was just because I had this person there to kind of help me through things,
that it wasn't so you know, so piercing, or so prevalent?”
At like three in the morning is where I'm like best like in terms of I feel like I'm getting
the most out, and I think it's because everyone's asleep.
Plus, I think at 3AM melancholy really sets in, and you just feel like, I said melancholy
really weird there, but it just kind of like sets in, and it's like you kind of think about your feelings
a bit more, like on both spectrums of things.
So yeah, I've spent many, many, many late nights, early mornings, just kind of banging
my head against a keyboard or a guitar, and nothing coming out.
I love going through old emotions.
I still think about like a girl when I was in primary school, or grade school, who never
held my hand at the school dance.
In Scotland you do this thing called “Social dancing”, and it's like cèilidh dancing,
so it's all like traditional Scottish dances, that if you do it at Christmas.
And everyone you get the inevitable people are like sliding their jumpers down, because they
don't want to hold hands with you, and like, or they don't want to hold hands with you
at all, or the teacher has to tell them to hold hands with you, and it's like I still
relive that shit on a day-to-day basis
I always write my songs four months after the fact.
Like...Or less. Like roughly.
Do you know what I mean?
A couple of months removed from the thing happening.
Because I think when I'm in something, it's very hard to like consolidate the thoughts and
be like “Okay, what am I feeling here?”
Once you've had that kind of space from the actual thing happening it's like “Oh, I
can actually see where I went wrong in that, and where they went wrong, and where,
do you know what I mean? How things ended.”
It's not just like a song where I'm like you know, “You're a fucking dick, and I hate you.”
I get lonely, but not as much as everyone else, and I'm very fortunate that internet
porn exists, so...I’m all good.
But yeah, but the thing is, all my band and crew, they all have girlfriends and boyfriends,
or husbands back at home, and it's like that kind of distance from them would be more upsetting
than just being single, and not having to think about it...Like I miss my parents, and
my friends and stuff, but I don't have like this person who I'm trying to cultivate a romantic
relationship with, while I'm halfway across the world.
So I kind of feel more for them in that respect.
Although they’d probably feel for me that I think internet porn is a substitute for
love.
In general, escaping things, I don't see as a bad thing.
Like, the busier I get the more I find kind of little escapes to kind of go off and kind
of switch off from things.
But not, it's not like I'm like, “Well this is too much I need to get away.”
It's just like, it's good for you.
I think your sanity and your mental health to kind of just be like, “Okay, I'm just
going to switch off from that for now and I'm just going to go off and do something
else.”
For at least, even if it's 20 minutes, do you know what I mean?
Like watch internet porn.
I kind of saw that part as like a dream almost.
You know how like sometimes you'll have a dream where someone who maybe has passed away
or a girlfriend or whatever, ex-girlfriend or whatever and...
Or a friend you're just...
And that you're back there with them at the time, one of those times.
When I'm really really struggling, I'll just have to like really try and close my eyes
and think back to what would you say if you were here now?
Or what would we have done if we hadn't broke up at this point?
Do you know what I mean?
So, it's like... yeah, I see that as kind of like a resolve to.
And it's like just trying to take a moment to breathe.
I never thought I'd be in a position where someone was asking me about my lyrics.
I would never of thought it would have got as mental as its got off the back of it, but
I'm fucking glad it has, because I really need to move out my mom and dad's house, and
hopefully we can do that at some point.