I'm nothing but a washed-up fool now.
Life comes at you fast.
One minute, you're on top of the world,
and the next you're explaining
what just happened to nobody in the kitchen.
Boy, I tell ya, the Internet is a wonderful place.
Everybody is so supportive.
Whoa, you look terrible.
Get used to it. This is the new me.
The washed-up me.
The me who doesn't have his edge anymore.
What happened?
Francine went to prison for kidnapping some little girl.
Oh, damn, you lost that case?
Yep. The old me would've weaseled her out of it,
but she's in prison now 'cause I blew it.
A tragic ending for ol' Rog.
You guys, the cruise was awesome.
I should've died!
And I got robbed by a 30-year-old Romanian stowaway
pretending to be a teenage girl.
But guess who got a kiss first.
You look like hell. Get cleaned up,
and we'll drive to court together.
Mm, we lost.
She's in prison forever.
-What?! -Oh, my God!
Roger, I have decided to hurt you.
You must be Uncle Roger.
Why don't we go to the living room,
and I can hear your side of the story?
Stan, listen. I have an idea.
I got the mail every day you were gone,
so I think I should get extra allowance this week.
That's your idea?
Ple-e-e-ase!
And now Francine's in prison,
and it's all because I lost my edge.
I'm washed up. I'm done.
Listen to yourself.
Your friend's locked up, and all I hear is, "I, I, I."
Wow. You missed a ton of what I said.
The best way to get back on track is to forget
about the "I's" and focus on others.
You know, that actually makes a lot of sense.
But where do I -- sorry, where do me begin?
Well, for starters, have you even visited Francine yet?
No. We're going to visit her right now.
I'll gather the others. Love it.
Would follow you to the end of the Earth.
One quick question -- who are you?
[ Buzzer ]
-Mom! -It's so good to see you.
My girl.
[ Door closes ]
Who the hell is that?
That's Isabella.
She played you in a TV reenactment.
And in the cruise we took without you.
She's awesome.
And, most importantly, she showed me how selfish I've been.
If I wasn't so concerned about proving I still had my edge,
there's a chance you wouldn't be in here.
A chance?
A very good chance.
Francine, Isabella taught me something special --
how valuable helping others can be.
So with that said...
H-H-How did I get in this?
What's going on?
Time's up. Come on.
No! I didn't do anything!
I'm not supposed to be here!
Listen to all those "I's."
Focus on how selfless it is
to do four life sentences for someone.
We got to get out of here.
[ Buzzer ]
Did you see that?
I just imprisoned an innocent woman
and freed a convicted child abductor.
How's that for edgy?
Couldn't we have solved this without anybody going to prison?
That woman saved my life.
We could have, but then you wouldn't have gotten to go
on your precious cruise.
Yes, I would -- with Mom.
But then who would've saved your life?
Whoa.
Roger, if I didn't have this seatbelt on,
I'd punch you right in the face.
No. Thank you, Francine.
You were right. I'd gotten complacent,
and I needed your little push to get back on track.
And, boy, am I back.
You wanted interesting characters?
Toga Gomez, NASCAR Vampire.
Jenna Diarrhea-Evans, heiress to the diarrhea fortune.
Gord Gullmax, Michael Jackson apologist.
Lieutenant Wingz, enormous mosquito.