Welcome back to the show! It’s officially summer! And you know what that means: cutting off friends who don’t
have AC and making new friends who do have AC! And of course, toxic media messaging about
weight gain. - If you’ve tried to put on your pre-pandemic
jeans, you may find they are a little snug. Well, you can blame the quarantine 15.
- Well the so-called quarantine 15 has turned into a weight gain of 25 to 30 pounds for
some of the youngest Americans. - The quarantine 15, with people packing on
the pounds during the pandemic. - They’re calling it the quarantine 15,
or 19, or however it happened for you. The quarantine 15 is also what I called the
heist team I put together during lockdown. We never wound up stealing anything... except
each others’ hearts. “Quarantine 15” is a play on the problematic term “freshman
15,” which refers to the number of pounds college kids gain during their freshman year.
But it’s not even a real thing! They should have at least named it after a truthful moment
in college, like the quarantine hearing-your-roommate-give-an-enthusiastic-HJ-while-you-study-for-your-chem-exam. I can’t tell you anything about chemistry,
but if anyone needs an HJ, call me. I can talk you through it with my eyes closed. After
spending all this time in lockdown, instead of being grateful for the fact that we’re
vaxxed and sort of waxed during a pandemic, the weight loss industry is continuing their
decades-long crusade to make people—particularly women—worry about losing weight. And while
there’s never a correct time for weight loss fear mongering, right now, as we emerge
from the ground like cicadas, ready to shed our skin and hump, it is really not the time.
But weight loss companies do not give a f***. The 78-billion-dollar weight loss industry
lost almost a quarter of its value in 2020. Mostly because people were too busy trying
to survive to put losing weight on their to-do lists. I only had one thing on my to-do list
last year, which was to figure out how to get out of virtual happy hour with my friends.
It was really hard because everyone wants to talk to the HJ queen! But as states have
eased up pandemic restrictions, the pressure to lose weight has intensified. Fitness companies
have seen a surge in new demand, and diet companies are already using pandemic-related
language to lure people in. - Wanna get back to you again? SlimFast. Shed
those newfound pounds. - The quarantine 15? So not happening. Lose
up to 18 pounds in your first two months with Nutrisystem.
- When you’re on a weight loss journey, hugs, fist bumps, and pats on the back are
what keep you going! But in a time where high fives are being put on hold, Noom is here.
So when we do get back to high fives and hugs, you’ll have something extra to celebrate.
Actually, what motivates me is picturing myself running away from high fives. Like, what if
Drake goes down low and then he calls me out for being too slow? I wouldn’t be able to
handle it. I am so exhausted that society has already come back to the same fat-shaming
place because experts have long said that diets don’t really work in the long term.
- Diets don’t work. It’s actually a well established predictor of weight gain as has
been shown repeatedly in research. When we examine the body’s regulatory mechanisms,
it shouldn’t be too surprising that few people sustain weight loss from a calorie
reduction diet. Dieting triggers a reduction in the hormone leptin, which actually increases
appetite and decreases metabolism—just the opposite of what you’re shooting for if
you’re trying to lose weight. When it comes to weight, many factors are
out of our control, like metabolism, genetics, or, oh yeah, the stress of staying inside
for over a year because we’re afraid to breathe someone else’s nasty air. Even more
than usual, we’re getting slapped in the face with reminders about our weight. Whether
it’s from fatphobic social media memes, or condescending articles that compare people
who spent the pandemic riding their Pelotons to people who sat on their couches drinking
chardonnay and munching on Cheetos. They didn’t even take the time to celebrate the real heroes
of the pandemic—the people who did both at the same time. We can’t escape the body
shaming because people can’t stop talking about it!
- When you add stress snacking, working from home, gym closures, and the coronavirus pandemic,
you might start seeing your midsection bulge a little bit. So a lot of people—including
you, I’m sure, me too—we’re all finding comfort in binging on junk food during these
stressful times. - Just because the gym is closed doesn’t
mean that you can’t work out. Now is a really good time to take advantage of all the workouts
that you’ve wanted to do but they were too expensive. Now you have no excuse; you can
do them for absolutely free in your living room.
No excuse? I don’t owe you an excuse! I don’t even know you, Haley! You want to
say that to my face? Good! Because I love to make new friends! I’m lonely.