[CHEERING] - Welcome back to the show.
Brexit is fast approaching.
I wanted to explain it.
But since everything is more entertaining
in a British accent, I asked Amy to explain it instead.
And I responded, my accent isn't a party trick, Sam.
(LAUGHING) See?
It really is more entertaining.
AMY (VOICEOVER): A brief history of Brexit for Americans.
This is Europe.
You may remember us from World War II.
After that shit show, a bunch of us
thought, "What if we tried working together
and formed the European Union?"
The UK joined.
New industries were created.
And everyone traded freely.
Brits move to Europe.
Europeans moved here for some reason.
Ireland and Northern Ireland had an open border.
So they finally stopped kneecapping each other.
And most importantly, we all had crazy fast passport lines.
But there was a small group of "yes" conservatives,
who didn't like being on a team.
And they wanted to Brexit.
Because they missed when Britain was a brempire
that didn't have to listen to branyone.
And we believe in taking the argument to the people.
And we can win.
AMY (VOICEOVER): The prime minister didn't want to Brexit.
But he wanted their support in Parliament,
so he agreed to put their idea to a national vote,
figuring they'd just lose and then he'd have more power.
So he reduced this incredibly complex question
down to an 11-word survey that looks more
like an RSVP for a wedding.
And with that, everyone split into two camps.
The leave campaign told lies on the side of a bus
and blamed immigrants on the side of a truck--
and, of course, red hats.
And the remain campaign figured they were fine
and basically took a very long nap.
And you guessed it.
Brexit won.
[CHEERING]
But small issue, no one actually knows
what Brexit means because no one actually expected it to win.
And now this guy has to figure out
what happens to all of the trade and industries and people
and borders and the tens of billions of dollars
we now owe the EU.
But don't worry.
Brits don't quit.
AMY (VOICEOVER): And then he quit.
And the leave campaign never really planned to win,
so they were absolutely thrilled.
[BUZZING]
Yesterday, I believe the British people have spoken up.
And I think we can be very proud of the result.
AMY (VOICEOVER): They're terrified.
So their party had a meeting and picked a new lady leader.
We will build a better Britain.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Sure you will.
All you have to do is unite Britain and negotiate
a favorable deal with the EU who want to punish
you for voting to leave.
But don't worry.
This is the woman who knows the meaning of Brexit.
Brexit means Brexit, and we're going to make a success of it.
CROWD: Hear, hear.
AMY (VOICEOVER): And no one knows what that means either,
or even how to say it.
We will make breakfast--
Brexit.
AMY (VOICEOVER): But May doesn't care.
She's busy having the time of her life,
promising Brexit will be easy, even though she has no idea
how to fix all this stuff.
And rather than figure it out first,
she decides to pass a law that triggers the Brexit countdown
clock, which means May has to figure
everything out by March 2019.
And if she doesn't, we'll crash out of the EU with no deal
at all, which is very bad.
So the EU stops by for tea and says,
maybe let's start figuring out what the hell you just did.
But May's like, not now.
Thanks, love.
Because this cheeky minx has got a better idea.
She only has a slight majority in Parliament.
And her left-wing opposition leader is literally
polling behind I don't know.
So she could call a snap election.
I'm not going to be calling a snap election.
AMY (VOICEOVER): But then she does.
Because she wants to consolidate more power.
But turns out candidate May is terrible at campaigning.
How do you unwind?
I like walking.
I spend quite a lot of time looking at cookbooks.
And I quite like watching "NCIS" when I can.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Please clap.
And since Corbyn figures he won't win,
he just promises everyone everything for free.
Then suddenly, half the country goes
crazy for some guy dressed like a dad on a Jamaican holiday.
The momentum grows and grows.
And his party does not win.
But they wiped out May's majority.
So now no one is in charge.
And she has less power.
[RINGING]
Ring, ring.
Who's on the phone?
Oh, yeah, the EU.
May just wasted months, losing whatever power she had.
So she finally heads to Europe to convince them
to let us Brexit but still keep all of the good stuff,
even though they absolutely hate us.
[GROWLING]
But May gets stuck on key issues,
like how to use a binder and how to get out of a car.
Hello?
I'm still in the car.
Who does the door?
OK, you pull.
Oh, now I'm pulling.
OK, you pull. Pull it.
I'm-- OK.
Hello, Angela.
Back home, her message isn't sticking.
And the public has no idea what's going on.
Actually, babe, trees are the one thing that aren't fucked.
But if May misses her deadline, it
could cripple industry and imports of food and medicine,
and reignite violence in Ireland,
and strand Brits living abroad, and spark a global recession--
which, yes, would affect you guys and, most importantly,
the passport lines.
Apparently, so does May.
Because she just keeps going back to Europe.
Then, in November, she and the EU
finally agree to the meaning of Brexit--
in a 585-page document.
But bloody hell, she's done it. [CHEERING]
Cue happy dance.
Whoa, no, not that one.
Nope, not that one, either.
OK, that's it.
She proudly boogies her way into Parliament
to get the final approval for her deal.
It is a draft treaty that means that we will
leave the EU in a smooth and orderly
way on the 29th of March, 2019.
[SHOUTING] [LAUGHTER]
AMY (VOICEOVER): Yeah.
They don't love it.
The ayes to the right, 202.
[GASPING]
The nos to the left, 432.
CROWD: Whoa.
AMY (VOICEOVER): They vote it down in the largest defeat
in the history of Parliament.
And now she has even less power.
Basically, Remainers think her deal is too harsh.
And Leavers think it's too soft, which might
sound like a good compromise.
But remember, everyone's an asshole.
So here we are.
Wait.
Could they just decide to not Brexit?
Because like--
Half the nation did not vote for breakfast--
Brexit.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Well, yes.
But that would undermine the very uninformed will of 52%
of the people, who are scary.
And they could hold a second referendum.
But May would have to delay her clock.
And what would that mean?
Any delay is a delay.
AMY (VOICEOVER): Holy shit, woman.
And this boob wakes up from his nap
and is like, guys, why don't we just have a second referendum?
Two and a half years too late.
So now what happens?
Next week, May will hold another vote,
which means it's Parliament's choose your own adventure.
Go ahead.
Pick.
Oops, out of time.
MAN: Breakfast?
Thank you, Amy.
We'll be right back.
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]