Hey everybody.
Happy Tuesday.
And it's raining here in LA,
Which is wonderful.
Because we are very dry.
We need the rain.
And it makes me feel like I'm home.
Which I will be soon.
I will talk about this at the end of the video,
So that if you're not interested in the information you don't have to stick around.
But I want to talk about what I'm going to do with the holidays coming up,
Because I will be gone from, for a long time.
Like, I will be back after, right before the new year.
And then I'm going again to Montreal.
So I'm kind of coming and a going and a going and a coming.
And I wanted to make sure we talk about,
And figure out what we want to do for the videos in the mean time.
Because I don't want to leave you hanging.
Okay, so since it's Tuesday I'm on tumblr.
And I have three questions.
That are kind of interesting.
They're all over the place.
And I think they are really good.
So lets get started.
Okay first question says,
'Hey Kati, is it normal to self harm for attention?'
'Because I do that. And it makes me feel like I mean something.'
'I know it's unusual,'
'But should I still get help even though it's only attention seeking?'
'Thanks Kati, love you.'
Now I want to talk about this because it gets a bad wrap.
People are always saying,
'Ugh, if you're doing it for attention seeking it's terrible.'
'If you're just doing that for attention seeking.'
And those of us who aren't doing it for that then,
Can feel like people who are doing it for attention are giving us that stigma,
Even though we don't want that stigma. And blah blah blah blah blah.
We all deserve help.
It doesn't matter why we're doing something.
We need to get help.
And we all deserve help regardless of why.
Does that make sense?
Often times I feel like,
Because there's already stigmas attached,
To mental illness and struggles with certain things.
It doesn't really matter why we're doing something,
We still need the same help that the other people do.
And everyone's process is going to be different during their recovery.
But we're still doing something that we're wanting to stop.
And we still deserve help for it.
So regardless of the reason,
I mean, as a therapist,
If you came into my office telling me that this is what you are struggling with.
I'd be curious, you know,
What's wrapped up in 'meaning something',
You don't feel like you mean something when you don't do it?
There's a lot to work on that way.
So yes is the answer.
Please get help.
No matter why you're struggling.
Don't,
Know that you're not alone.
Don't think that what you're doing is 'weird'.
Or 'no one else has done it before'.
'No one has heard of it before'.
Because we have.
And we're here to help.
And I would encourage you to reach out and start talking about it.
Okay.
Question number two,
'Hey Kati, what should I do if I don't click with my therapist,'
'But I can't get a new one because the,'
'Government funding that I'm on means I have to see this one.'
'Should I stop therapy?'
Many people have asked about this.
And talked about how they don't click but they have to wait six months.
Should they get on the list.
Do they stay with this one.
And if you have an opportunity to switch therapists,
I would encourage you to switch.
Because like I have talked about before,
And probably the reason the person is asking this,
Is because it works best when we click with the therapist.
Just like relationships.
We get more accomplished in our relationships.
We communicate more.
We process through more.
When we really click with someone.
But does that mean that we have to stop it if we don't have another option?
Au contraire.
I would say that the best way to maximise therapy.
Even though you don't click with this person.
Is to do some extra work on your own.
Now I know that's annoying.
But sometimes when we can't afford things,
Or this is the only thing that we're offered.
We have to make do with it, right.
And we can totally work with this.
I would guide your therapist to the ways that you need most.
Now I know you don't click,
But they are still a therapist.
They still went through training.
And you could,
Make a plan yourself over the things that you want to cover.
What you want to process through.
And I would allow them to ask the questions the therapist is going to allow.
Because you're still gonna get something out of it.
The difference is that it may not feel as easy.
And smooth.
And comfortable.
As it would if you really clicked with the therapist.
But that doesn't mean that they are not beneficial,
And that you can't get things accomplished.
So by creating your, kind of your own treatment plan,
You could even go into session and be like,
'I'd really like to put together a treatment plan with you,'
'Because that will help me feel more engaged.'
And kind of force their hand.
You can do that.
Because as a therapist,
I'm here to support you.
Obviously if we are going off on a conversation that's not really helpful,
And I feel like it's kind of distracting from the real problem,
I would bring it back.
And I wouldn't let you take me there.
But for the most part,
A therapist is kind of like a tool for you.
I'm going to help you help yourself.
And so wherever you guide me,
Wherever you tell me you need to go,
I trust you.
And that's what I, you know,
We work together.
So I would come with a plan.
I would encourage them to create a treatment plan with you.
Because it can help it feel more collaborative.
I would journal.
I would focus on the things that you're wanting to process through.
I would think about it.
I would go into session ready to talk about it.
We're going to have to be more forthcoming and kind of push ourselves a little bit,
When we don't click.
But you can still really benefit.
It's nice to have, at the end of the day,
It's really nice to have someone who is un-partial.
And isn't involved in our life,
To talk with about things, and get their feedback on it.
Okay.
And if any of you have experience with this,
Can you let me know below.
Because I know that even for myself when I was in college, after my dad passed away.
My therapist had retired.
And I wanted to go back to her, but she retired.
And I saw this person for an interim that I didn't click with,
But I could still get stuff out of it by processing myself.
And coming ready to talk.
And kind of forcing them to be a therapist to me.
And make it work for me.
And I still found it really good and successful.
So let me know what you think, okay.
Question number three,
'Hey Kati, I hope you see this.'
Oh I did.
'Can you experience 'withdrawal symptoms' when recovering from self harm?'
'Thanks so much.'
Now I thought this was really interesting.
It's something I haven't talked about before.
But the truth of it is,
That when we self harm,
Everyone's body is going to be different.
But a lot of people release adrenalin.
It's something that our body does when it feels like it's under attack.
It's part of that fight or flight.
It's something that gets us going.
It's when we, you know,
It's like, part of the whole,
I forget the pathways,
Look it's, lets not get into that.
That's too much.
But.
So the way that our brain works,
Is that adrenalin makes, it can make our blood pump faster.
It can make our blood pump slower.
It even can change the way that we metabolise things, and digest things.
And at the end of the day,
It makes us feel better.
It gives us a release and helps us feel more elated.
And not so shitty sometimes.
And so, when we stop self harming,
Sometimes our depression will get worse.
And that is definitely the 'withdrawal' that we're feeling from the adrenalin.
And the fact that our one coping skill isn't there any more.
And so we're struggling with that too.
And so, yes, you can very much have withdrawal from self harming.
A lot of my patients even feel the same kind of situation,
And feeling in their body where the depression gets worse,
When struggle with eating disorders and they're trying to recover.
They're not using it anymore.
And they're not getting that high from it.
And they're not feeling that adrenalin.
Which, on the flip side,
Just for any of you whose eating disorder or self harm voice is going crazy right now,
And they're like,
'See, we shouldn't stop it. It helps you feel better. Blah blah blah.'
Tell it to shut the hell up.
Because the truth is,
That if we squeeze all the adrenalin out and our adrenal glands get really low,
Bad things can happen.
Anxiety and stress kind of take over.
Our body kind of runs on low.
I even pulled up an article that I found very interesting,
Where they're talking about how if you have,
If you're addicted to the adrenalin and you are dependent on it.
And you use all of your adrenalin all of the time.
It's even been linked to heart disease.
And headaches.
Feelings of panic.
Irregular heart beat.
Sleep problems.
A lot of different issues.
And so, doing that.
And sucking out our adrenalin all of the time is not good for you.
So don't let that voice tell you otherwise.
It is something that helps us in the short term.
But we need to find a way to help us in the long term.
Which is where recovery comes into place.
And that's why we really need to fight those voices,
And work on our recovery.
So, I hope that helps.
I know that that's really hard.
And it's on of the things that we really struggle with.
Because we feel shitty a lot of times before we feel better.
And I have a video on that.
So I think it's called,
'Why does it feel worse before it feels better?'
You can look at that on youtube.
Now, so for next week,
Like I said, I am leaving on Friday to go to Seattle.
So if any of you are in the area, what, hit me up.
And I will be there until the 29th.
And so, during that time, during that week.
I was contemplating, because it takes a long time to vet questions.
And to get online and to copy and paste.
And to put them up.
And to make a video.
And upload it.
I was thinking about,
What if, as a community, we spend that week,
Messaging me and putting comments and things,
Positive affirmations.
Great quotes.
Things that you do to help improve your mood.
And so each day,
The video that I would put out would just be a journal topic.
Or a inspirational story.
Or something like that.
So if you like this idea,
Give this video a thumbs up.
And let me know below.
And then start sharing your inspirational things.
Because I will save them for each day.
And then I will put them up while I am gone.
So that during that potentially very stressful time,
During the holidays.
We can still feel connected.
We can still get some positive information from each other.
And we can still have our community grow.
So what do you think?
Let me know.
Okay.
I love you all,
Tomorrow I will be on the website and youtube.
So ask your questions below today's video or on katimorton.com
Using the #KatiFAQ
And I will see you then.
Bye.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community