Translator: Sajedah Al-Zuheiri Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs
(Exhales)
(Singing) Yohaaa
Yohaaa
(Singing ends)
(Exhales)
I just experienced pure, unadulterated bliss in front of you.
(Laughter)
The first time I realized I could do this, I was driving cross country,
having just graduated from college
to the city of angels,
the city of smog, vanity, the industry,
and also the place for dreamers.
After hours on the road,
my mind got out of the way,
and I let my voice, my body, my intuition,
my heart and soul make sound.
I've been singing since I could make sound.
As a baby, I'd awake at midnight and start cooing in my crib.
My grandmother would say: "Club Ariella's open!"
And then,
as a little girl, as all of us used to do,
all of us,
I'd play with my voice.
(Haaa - ululating)
(Singing ends)
When I was seven years old,
my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.
Suddenly, my world got stressful,
as I noticed the worry of those around me,
I came to the conclusion
that not everyone wanted to hear my voice or my expression.
And it was also at this age,
that I started to care what other people thought of me.
I wanted to please my parents, my teachers, and my schoolmates,
so I started subconsciously censor myself,
with the intention of making others' lives less stressful.
From the moment we're born,
we emphatically absorbed the internal state of those around us.
However, at this age, our behavioral development is subconscious,
so we feel free to fully express ourselves.
But then, around the age seven, we start cognitively developing.
We start to see others' perspectives and we learn to use logic.
I can see how I applied logic, although inaccurate,
to believe that if I became the perfect child,
my mom would get better and life would be good.
Well, I'm grateful to share that my mother is a cancer survivor,
and she is here tonight.
(Applause)
But this wasn't because of my behavior.
(Laughter)
And you,
you're not so different than me.
Something likely happened in your childhood
which caused you to stop freely voicing who you were.
It could have been as direct as literally a choir teacher saying,
"You shouldn't sing. You have a bad voice!"
Or it could have been noticing that your dancing, playing, or expressing
was getting in the way of someone else's comfort.
And so you decided that censoring yourself was healthier
than freely voicing what you felt in the moment.
Many people have told me,
"Ariella, I shouldn't sing. I have a horrible voice.
I sound awful."
We spend so much conscious and subconscious energy
worrying about what others think of us,
while they're they worried of what we think of them.
We've collectively forgotten how to live in our own skin and bones
and lymphatic system that love to move and groove and make sound!
And so much of population won't sing.
Maybe they'll sing Happy Birthday in a group, which is really fun,
or do karaoke after a few drinks.
But -
And then those who do sing will often join choirs and take voice lessons.
And these are wonderful places to express the spirit
and to learn things like healthy vocal technique.
But these are also structured settings in which person learns, quote, unquote,
"right and wrong" ways of expressing.
It's often in these settings that people don't often learn true authenticity,
which is the majority of what makes a singer great,
a speaker profound,
and any one of us true to ourselves through our expression.
So as a vocal empowerment coach who's worked with hundreds of people,
and a performer who's been over 400 stages,
I've had the unique opportunity
to witness our collective subconscious forego authenticity
and attempt to present ourselves perfectly.
And because as I'm sure we all know somewhere down deep inside,
because none of us can actually be perfect,
this leads to varying levels of nervousness and anxiety.
So how do we curb this perfectionism and learn to be as we are?
In my experience,
the act of being authentic and presence with ease
is about 30% technique and 70% self-confidence.
Okay, so what is self-confidence?
When people come to work with me,
they often are coming to enhance their self-confidence
around their vocal abilities.
Oftentimes when they open their mouth to sing,
they begin to cry or laugh instead.
It's an honor to be there during this vulnerable moment,
and I see it as a wonderful opportunity
to gently discuss what's emerging emotionally.
And what I've learned is at the core of all of our insecurities
is a lack of self-acceptance and self-love.
When we can truly learn to love ourselves,
and I mean when we can fully accept where we're at in our personal evolution,
no matter how imperfect we think we are,
no matter how imperfect I think I am,
it doesn't matter what we do in front of another person.
Learning to accept and then love ourself creates steadfast confidence.
So this is a lesson that I had to learn firsthand.
And first I'll step away from the script and tell you
that doing this TEDx talk brought it all up again.
(Laughter)
There were tears; there was fear; there were all of my insecurities;
there was doubt;
I called my mom one day and I said, "I hate my talk!"
Because I had never done anything like this before exactly,
even though I'd been on all these stages.
And so, I'm here. I got here. And it feels really good.
(Applause) (Cheers)
So the script -
So nine months before I was about to graduate as a vocal performance major,
the vocal faculty took me aside and they told me,
"We feel it's best that you choose another major."
(Laughter)
I remember sitting on the cold apartment floor, crying,
feeling as though the rug was pulled from under me.
And the next day I wandered campus, and I ended up at the Study Abroad office,
where an adviser told me about this trip to Ghana, West Africa,
where I could study music.
I'd never been to Africa, and I'd never thought I would go,
but I knew that somehow in this foreign land maybe I would find my way.
Well, that summer I was immersed in a culture
where music was part of everyday life,
where we would see drummers on the side of the road
dancing and playing with those around them,
where we passed by funerals and weddings, and the locals would invite us to join in,
and it would be rude of us not to dance.
Women in their 80s and 90s would dance with this relaxed confidence
that showed me how I want to be when I am an elder.
And the griot, our village storyteller,
would lead call and response songs and prayers
for the entire village to recite.
Here I found a new definition of music.
It was no longer about precision or perfection.
It was about wild joy, connecting with each other,
and freedom of expression.
Having been in this place of unique freedom,
I knew that I would build a life that excited me, and I definitely have.
My favorite African proverb is,
“If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing.”
(Audience) Woo!
Yeah!
(Applause)
If music resides in us, and if rhythm resides in us, and it does,
song and dance are in us too.
Being an expression of music with our voices and bodies
is our birthright.
And from the moment we’re born until the moment we die, we are music.
We're all walking around with the most accurate, impeccable rhythm within us.
(Drum beat)
I invite you to tap on your chest and join me.
And just for a moment, shut your eyes and listen.
(Drum beats)
Yes!
(Hushed sound)
When were in the womb, we heard a sound like this.
It was the white noise of the amniotic fluid
that calmed us and assured us we were safe.
And some nights I turned my fan on
to calm me and assure me that I'm safe, and it helps me sleep a lot.
So, I'd like to try something.
This room is now a safe space.
There's no right.
There's no wrong.
You cannot make a mistake.
I'd like everyone to sit up in your seats.
Put your hands up in the air and take in a deep breath.
(Inhales)
(Exhales)
Yeah!
And then you can put your hands down.
You can roll your shoulders if it feels good.
Alright, we are going to do some call and response.
When I start singing, repeat after me.
(Drumming)
(Singing) Ehhh-y-ehhh
(Audience) Ehhh-y-ehhh
(Singing) Ehhh-y-ehhh-y-ehhh
(Audience) Ehhh-y-ehhh-y-ehhh
(Singing) Dada-dun-dun-de-y-oh
(Audience) Dada-dun-dun-de-y-oh
(Singing) Dada-dun-dun-de-y-oh
(Audience) Dada-dun-dun-de-y-oh
(Singing) Eh-y-eh-y-ehh
(Audience) Eh-y-eh-y-ehh
(Singing) Ey-yeh-yeh-yehh
(Audience) Ey-yeh-yeh-yehh
(Drumming ends) Yeah!
(Applause) (Cheers)
That was beautiful! How did that feel to you?
(Audience responses)
Yeah, it sounded really fun. It sounds like it felt good.
There may have been a few of you who were thinking,
Why didn't I prepare an escape plan for the evening?
(Laughter)
I understand that doing call-and-response vocal exercises in a public forum
might not feel 100% natural to you.
If you haven't been singing your whole life like me,
singing might not feel natural to you at all, so you might be asking,
Why would I do it if it's so uncomfortable?
My genuine question to you though is, Why wouldn't you?
After all, the act of singing is physically healing.
When we sing our vocal cords vibrate throughout the entire body
and supplies of oxygen are delivered to our brain.
This calms our nervous system
and causes us to get out of fight-or-flight mode and into relaxation.
And singing connects us with each other.
When we sing and our voices vibrate in unison or harmony,
we share a vulnerability,
and thus we are endeared to one another.
Singing is also good exercise; it works our abdominal and intercostal muscles.
And, singing is a global language.
Every historical culture that I've studied
has vast evidence of chant and song
for prayer, communication, and social gatherings, dancing.
So then if it's so good,
how do you unleash your most authentic voice and healthfully expressed self?
Get out of the mind and into the body.
When we're overthinking, when we're in our mind, it makes us anxious,
and this actually tenses our muscles,
which causes us to have poor breath support, it contracts our muscles,
and strange projection.
But when we're relaxed even just a little in our body and our mind,
our body just knows what to do.
And then set a positive intention.
It might sound easy, but you've got to focus on what you're thinking.
Are you thinking, My voice is going to crack any minute?
Or are you thinking, I don't know how, but I know I can do this.
And then practice.
Practice when you feel good, and practice when you don't.
The art of showing up and practicing and doing it anyway
shows us that so much more than we ever thought is possible.
[Love yourself]
This is about you and your story.
Your unfolding.
No one sounds exactly like you because no one is you.
Your authentic voice and self are your gift to the world.
So please do your best to accept it
and love it.
And then, give it.
I now invite you to do a duet with me.
I'm going to give you a vocal line.
It's pretty simple, straight forward.
So you're just going to repeat this vocal line over and over again,
you're going to get into the groove of it.
It goes like this.
(Singing - lower, higher, lower) Ooo, ooo, ooo
Try it.
(Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
Yes, keep going.
(Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
(Drumming)
Ooo, ooo, ooo
When I sing, you just keep holding that down.
(Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Hey-hey-yay (Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Eh-hey-yay. Eh-hey-yay (Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Ey-hey-yay-yay (Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Hey-yay-hey-yay (Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Ooo-ooo-ooo (Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo, hey-yay (Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
Three more times.
(Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Hey-yah
(Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
AF: Ohh, ey-ya-ya-ah
(Audience) Ooo, ooo, ooo
(Singing ends)
(Applause)
Thank you.
(Laughs)
(Applause) (Cheers)