Hey, in this video, I'm going to be talking about autism and masking
and what exactly it is all up.
Plus more is coming right up.
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My name is Dan.
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Hey guys.
Welcome back.
It's the aspie world.
Oh yeah, you're done.
I feel kind of like feeling like in a pretty good mood today.
Uh, just being out for a walk, feeling pumped, but I wanted to do
a video about autism and masking because I feel like it's a big
topic that we don't really cover.
So if you want to go ahead and follow me on Instagram and Twitter
and TikTok the, uh, Calls to action.
My names will be here so you can follow me.
Links are in the description below if you want to check me out on there, but
I also do content on those platforms, so it's way worth checking it out.
Okay.
So autism and masking, I wanted to try and cover in this video of some stuff about
what has been masking and, and how it kind of feels from that person's point of
view and how you can potentially spot it.
So if somebody is on the autism spectrum and then you can like,
look at what they're doing and then kind of think, Oh, okay, well maybe
it's masking or maybe it's this.
Maybe it's that.
But it's a huge thing.
Like masking an autism.
It's a big deal and I'll get into why it's a big deal.
Right now.
So I really want to start with some facts and figures and why
this is important to masking.
Now people diagnosed with autism.
There are three times as many boys diagnosed with autism that are girls,
which is basically like, you know, you have one girl diagnosed with autism
for every three boys diagnosed with autism, which is a really interesting
figure, which means that like a third.
Of only a third of the population of girls compared to boys actually have
autism diagnosis, but that isn't really the case of the fact that they have.
They don't have it.
Like, you know, it's not like only like a lesser amount habit.
It's just that people on the autism spectrum specifically
females have a great.
Deal of masking going on, which makes it harder to diagnose, which is one
of the biggest reasons why girls are left out of the diagnostic criteria
a lot of the time and kind of slipped through that net the first time around.
It doesn't mean that they don't eventually do get the diagnosis in
some cases that may be so, but it is something that is apparent when.
First time they try to get diagnosed or seek medical professional help
and assistance with that condition.
So masking it kind of sounds like exactly what it is now masking is
when you are, um, are, are pretending to be somebody else I'll put it on
after a performance or a persona, uh, putting on a front to cover.
Uh, the, the con your, your, your own kind of like personal traits
of autism, your own kind of like insecurities and stuff, and it happens.
Yeah.
It's not just females.
You actually mask male's mask as well.
I've done a great deal of masking in my time as well.
Um, but I I'm kind of learning to just be myself because I feel
like masking isn't a good thing.
I feel like my skin is something that is detrimental to, to me.
I mean, some people might really enjoy masking.
Like, you know, they might get some benefit out of it cause it
helps them operate themselves in a certain environment.
But for me, it's a very difficult one to do because it makes me not me.
I'm let me put it this way.
Um, when I, um, I'm quite an introverted person, I, uh, I like to study stuff
and read stuff and learn stuff in my office, in my house, you know,
snuggled down on the couch in my bed or whatever, learn, watch videos, make
videos, write music, that kind of stuff.
But I like to do it on my own.
I like to be on my own a lot of the time.
And I like libraries.
I don't like going out to clubs.
I don't like drinking alcohol and going, you know, I don't drink
alcohol, but I mean, I don't like go to clubs with people, drink
alcohol, like have a big time.
There's loads of people in there and like...
But I do play music and I play in a band and my band is signed to two
record labels, which means that we have done a fair amount of touring
and playing music around the world.
And so, yeah, when I play music, like I don't want to be in the.
Club environment.
So I'm usually backstage, you know, in the green room until we come out and play
and then we'd go pack the van and we go.
But in terms of actually being in that environment and going
on stage, yeah, I'm quite a shy person, but I put on a persona, a
performance because I am performing.
I mean, as a musician at that time, and they put on a performance, I was
a musician and I go out there and they do it and then I come off stage
and then they do my other thing.
And that's why I get exhausted after gigs.
Now that is.
Typically how someone who is masking their autism.
You know, spectrum symptoms does life with masking because let's put it this way to
put it into a perspective of a young girl.
So a young girl who is very shy, um, she's quite introverted and she likes
collecting stuff and she just likes to read books on, say, Harry parts of it.
Right.
And she's in high school.
And, uh, she is quiet, shy person.
So when we talk to anybody, you know, quiet, you know, a girl, if you know,
a few words, but she goes to school.
And she sees all this hustle and bustle.
There's a load of people that they're talking about, different things, not
just Harry Potter, all this kinds of stuff going on, and girls are quite
social, you know, and they've got big social circles and social friends
in order to do this, that and the other, and talk about all things.
And the girl who's on the spectrum joined this school and decides
that, Oh my goodness, you know, this is quite overwhelming.
How do I.
Fit into this category.
How do I, how do I exist in this environment?
And then the only way they see fit is to, you know, front it and be
like, yeah, of course, I totally get what you're talking about.
I get, you know, I, I totally into like, you know, all the magazines, you
guys watch all the apps or websites or the YouTube that you're talking about.
Uh, but then also doesn't really mention the Harry Potter thing.
And, uh, just makes out is if she is outgoing as the other girls, because
she doesn't want to kind of like be.
Outside of that friends group.
And this is typically how masking works, but it's not a, it's not
a good thing for a simple reason.
This is what happens.
So the masking and masking masking that them selves, they are them as a
person, but then masking that autism side, you know, that the things that
people might find unusual and then.
They mask all day and then they come home and it's like a complete like explosion.
Like they, they have like, Oh my God, complete meltdown, shut down.
But you know, break down because they they've exhausted their
resources of being human.
You know, how exhausting is that printed on an act all day.
And then he came home and I just have a huge meltdown.
I mean, imagine yeah.
Happening every day, like five days out of the week.
And on the weekend, then you're just too exhausted to do anything.
If you're a parent watching this video right now, and you know exactly what
I'm talking about, please give this video a thumbs up because I'd love
to see how relatable this is to other people, because I feel like it is
relatable and people can relate to it.
And I just want to make sure that yeah, we're exchanging awesome things.
So please give it a thumbs up if you were late or leave me a comment if
it sounds like somebody, you know, but that is typically how I'm asking
now it comes from the fact that yeah.
People on the autism spectrum who are of lower support needs, which used to
be called like high functioning, but people don't really use functioning
labels anymore, but people with like lowest support needs who are on
the autism spectrum, they actually.
Ah, like thinking about those things, like social circles and wanting to make
friends I've been part of groups and stuff and actively thinking in those ways.
And so they're trying to make work around and these are called like,
uh, you know, uh, work around topics.
So for instance, like, you know, if you're thinking like, Oh, I want to, you know, I.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do in certain social situations.
So then you study somebody in social situation and then you watch what they do.
And so you just copy that next time, you know, this is a workaround or
hack to figuring out like you could actually be in that situation without
actually having to really anything, the standard here to all social conventions.
Yeah.
Girls on the autism spectrum kind of want to be more in a social thing.
It's kind of like a, you know, I dunno it's instinctual or whatever, but they're
wanting to be in social circles and they want to like, Talk to people on a
certain level and have those kinds of relationships and have those intimate
kind of like a, you know, friendships with people where they can talk about things.
I don't know, but the entire, idea of doing all that thing, it can
be overwhelming because if you're on the autism spectrum and those
things kind of don't come easy.
So you have to kind of pretend that you already know those things, which
can really get you into kind of sticky situations, because then they may
think that you are cool with something.
But then you may have a meltdown as a, as a, you know, say they say, Oh,
we're going on a camping weekend.
We're all going to go camping and do this thing with like a club with school.
But that's something that would terrify me and it might terrify some other girls on
the spectrum, but, you know, if they, um, did that camping trip, they would then.
Maybe have a meltdown and of course their friends and stuff and be like,
Oh my goodness, who's this, you know, what's happening to this person.
They were absolutely fine.
But now that have this huge like meltdown and while it would be
kind of like a puzzling for them, it wouldn't be like some bad.
I'm just saying that it's pausing for them.
So the reason masking kind of complicate your stick situations.
Cause it's not being a 100%.
Honest with everything that you're doing or being, but then again, masking,
isn't something that's voluntarily done.
A lot of the time masking is done involuntarily.
It's kind of like something that they can't control.
It's something that just happens because you're in a situation where
you have to try and figure it out.
It's almost like this, the autism brain wants to solve puzzles constantly.
That's it that's its main priority, autism brains want to solve puzzles.
So how do you solve the issue of social communication when you mimic somebody else
in that situation by masking, by putting on a persona, becoming somebody else that
you kind of like a public performance, um, and relay that performance to those people
to overcome the problem of that thing.
And so that becomes a start problem.
Solution is already done.
So this is what I mean by, um, you know, masking is kind of.
It's a difficult thing to deal with, but that respect, if you are seeing masking
in people, my advice would be to tell them that they don't have to mask it.
If they can control it, they should be themselves.
They should be 100% themselves and they should try to be as much
themselves as possible because.
Being themselves is always going to be better.
The only thing you can't improve upon is the truth as my father would say.
So I'd highly recommend doing that, but parents listening to this right
now, if you're interested in joining a webinar that I made specifically for
parents and caregivers of people on the spectrum, you can click the link in
the category and it's a live webinar.
You can watch it completely for free.
And it has some training there, uh, for people who are wanting to do
it a little bit more with, uh, you know, learning about autism for their
children's sake, et cetera, et cetera.
So we've got the cattle both here.
And in the description down below, but for now guys, that is all,
I'll see you in the next video.