>>> EXCUSE ME, MRS. TRUMP, PRESIDENT'S MOTORCADE IS READY
TO TAKE YOU TO THE STATE OF THE UNION.
ARE YOU COMING? >> TELL THEM I'LL TAKE THE NEXT
CAR. HOW WILL I GET THROUGH THIS
STATE OF THE UNION. COME ON, MELANIA, PRACTICE YOUR
HAPPY FACE. OH, I DON'T THINK I BELIEVE AS
FIRST LADY. I WISH I COULD TALK TO SOMEONE
WHO'S BEEN THROUGH THIS WHOLE MESS BEFORE.
>> HELLO, MELANIA. IT IS ME, YOUR IDEAL FIRST LADY.
>> NO, JACKIE KENNEDY. >> OH, JACKIE O'S.
>> I HAVE COME TO YOU IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED.
BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TRYING BEING FIRST LADY CAN BE.
BUT TELL ME, JACKIE O'S, HOW CAN I BE A GOOD FIRST LADY WHEN
DONALD MAKE IT SO HARD? ALL FIRST LADIES HAVE A
PLATFORM. YOURS IS BULLYING, MINE WAS
LITTLE HATS. YOU COULD DO SO MUCH GOOD,
MELANIA. YOUR APPROVAL RATING IS THROUGH
THE ROOF. >> YES, YES, PEOPLE LIKE ME
BECAUSE THEY LIKE, "THAT LADY LOOK HOW I FEEL."
>> YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY FIRST LADY WHO HAS HAD AFFAIRS.
JACK CHEATED ON ME WITH MARILYN MONROE.
>> OH, PLEASE! SHE WAS IN "GENTLEMEN PREFER
BLONDES." DONALD'S GIRL WAS IN "GUYS LIKE
IT SHAVED." NO FIRST LADY HAS EVER BEEN MORE
HUMILIATED THAN ME. >> HA, HA, HA!
>> HILLARY CLINTON! WHY ARE YOU HERE?
>> OH, HILLARY, THE WORLD KNEW ALL OF YOUR SECRETS.
HOW DID YOU SURVIVE? >> WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU JUST TELL
YOURSELF IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU'RE PRESIDENT.
HAHA! >> BUT YOU LOST.
>> I KNOW, I WAS THERE! BUT I SEE YOU'RE WEARING WHITE
TO THE STATE OF THE UNION. IS THAT A SUBTLE NOD TO THE
>> NO IT'S JUST CO-INKY-DINK.
>> LOOK, MELANIA. I FEEL YOUR PAIN, BUT YOU
MARRIED HIM, OKAY? LIKE AMERICA, YOU HAD A CHOICE.
SO DON'T CHOOSE TO EAT 7-11 SUSHI AND THEN COME TO ME
SAYING, "OH, SOME THING TERRIBLE IT HAPPENING!"
>> GREETINGS, FIRST LADIES. TIS I, MARTHA WASHINGTON.
>> MARTHA. YOU MATERIALIZED IN THE GARDEN.
>> OH, BEES N' BONNETS. GIVE ME ONE SECOND.
>> GIRLS, WHAT'S SHAKING? >> OH, MARTHA, I CAN'T DO THIS
TONIGHT. MAYBE I DON'T GO.
>> OH, MELANIA, YOU HAVE TO, YOU KNOW.
YOU HAVE TO BE YOUR YOUR JOB IS TO BE YOUR HUSBAND'S CONFIDANT.
>> IVANKA DOES THAT. TO HOST FOREIGN DIGNITARIES.
>> THAT'S IVANKA. >> TO BE THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON
HIS ARM. >> YEAH, THAT'S IVANKA
TERRITORY. >> WELL, FINE.
MAYBE BEING FIRST LADY MEANS JUST BEING WITH SOMEONE YOU
DON'T REALLY LIKE, WHO DOESN'T TREAT YOU VERY WELL.
>> SPEAK YOUR YOURSELF, MARTHA. >> MICHELLE, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
>> I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS YOUR FANTASY, SWEETIE.
BUT LOOK, BARACK AND I HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.
>> WHATEVER! MY ARMS RULE, I LOVE VEGETABLES
AND, I CAN BE PRESIDENT WHEN EVER I WANT.
>> NOW GET OUT THERE, AND DO WHAT FIRST LADIES HAVE ALWAYS
DONE. SUBSTANTIAL DOUBT THERE AND
CLAP. >> OKAY, BUT SOMETIMES I'M GOING
TO SIT DOWN AND NOT CLAP. >> YEAH
>> WOO-HOO! >> OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, LADIES, WHAT NOW? SHOULD WE STEAL SOME STUFF?
>> OH, YEAH. >> YEAH.
>> YES.