• From being aroused by the contents of your local bakery to the pleasures of a sunny
day we look at 19 strangest sexual fetishes you’ve never heard of.
19 – Liquidophila,
• Ever jazzed in your pants when getting into a bath?
• Well if you answered yes then my friend you are probably a liquiophile, meaning people
who get extremely turned on putting their junk in liquids like water or mountain dew.
• But out of common courtesy for everyone else you should probably not plan any trips
to the public pool or the beach anytime soon.
18 – Yeastiality,
• Mm-mmm sweet sweet sexy pastry and bread.
• That’s right, it’s possible to desire a different kind of hunger for doughnuts than
normal.
Yeastiality involves filling that éclair with a very disgusting type of cream.
• Dear god, I’ll never be able to look at a glazed doughnut the same way again.
17 – Emetophilia,
• Always wanted to know what people who are turned on by ‘2 Girls, 1 Cup’ are
called?
• Here’s your answer, Emetophiles get moist in the pants for watching others vomit
up their dinner.
• At least it’s coming from the mouth and not the other end.
16 – Hierophilia,
• If you have had impure thoughts about that Virgin Mary statue then congratulations
you’re a Hierophile.
• Involving the sexual arousal specifically to objects that are religiously sacred like
crucifixes, meaning that someone on deviant Art is drawing a sexy version of the Ark of
the Covenant.
• But hey who hasn’t been in church and thought, damn Jesus has a great body on that
cross.
15 – Zoosadism,
• If beastiality is loving animals then this would be the exact opposite.
• Being the literal meaning of the words, this fetish is just down right mean with people
getting sexual arousal over hurting animals.
• If I could only get off by hurting a poor defenceless animal then I’d probably take
a vow of celibacy and become a monk. 14 – Xylophilia,
• Do you get wood over getting a delivery of sexy 2x4’s?
• You do?
Good I can diagnose you with Xylophilia, the sexual attraction to wood.
Well that gives a new meaning to the term “popping a woody”.
• Just be careful you don’t get a splinter on your junk.
Ouch. 13 – Lithophilia,
• Well I guess this is for people who love rolling around on gravel.
Oh yeah pointy stones.
• Lithophilia is the love of stones, meaning that all geologists are probably carrying
this fetish but just don’t want to admit it.
• Man I’m trying to resist the urge to make a joke about being rock hard.
12 – Melissaphilia,
• Ever thought sticking your dick in a beehive sounds like a good night in?
No me either.
• But melissaphiles might have, see this is the sexual attraction to Bees and Wasps
which I’m sure probably has to do mostly with their stingers than anything else.
• Maybe they just got a very different “Birds and the Bees” talk than I did.
11 – Katoptronophilia,
• Got a friend with a suspicious amount of mirrors in their house?
Well chance are they are a katoptronophile.
• But before you go taking a rock to their collection screaming “I knew it you freak!”
keep in mind that it just means they like to do sexy stuff in front of mirrors.
• Why?
Fucked if I know.
Maybe they just are just tragically in love with the one person they can never be with,
their reflection.
10 – Psychrophilia, • If wonder how some people could possibly
enjoy winter then wonder no more because some people want to downright fuck winter.
• Well not exactly, psychrophiles are more into seeing people be frozen or touching very
cold objects so that makes winter the sexiest season for them.
• Oh hey guys we just worked out what fetish Sub-Zero has.
9 – Actirasty,
• And now we have the group that finds winter the unsexiest season imaginable.
• This group of fetishist find that the suns glorious rays are what do it for them,
taking the enjoyment we all get from sunshine just a bit too far.
• I guess safe sex with this involves a crap tonne of sunscreen.
8 – Formicophila, • This is for the people who like to go
out camping just so they can have ants crawl all over them.
• Formicophila or the desire to have insects crawl all over you, biting included isn’t
what most people have in mind for sexy time.
• Glad to know someone finds that ant scene from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull “erotic”
then.
7 – Salirophila, • Oh yeah, here’s one for those who like
to get dirty, literally that is.
• Described as the strong desire to dirty others or oneself with well anything ranging
from dirt to faeces.
• On which date do you bring up that you want to smear them with poop, like the forth
right?
6 – Chasmophilia,
• Well most sex is about filling holes but not the ones chasmophiles are interested in.
• Chasms, valleys, caves and the grand god damn canyon are what get these folks going
in the boudoir.
• Then again maybe they just fantasise about filling these chasms with their love juices…hell
that’s probably a separate fetish on its own.
5 – Frotteurism,
• There is nothing worse than being on a crowded train and feeling someone rubbing
their junk on you.
• You might have heard of this happening a lot in places like Japan where the act is
so widespread that cities have introduced women only carriages on trains.
• The fetish goes as far back as 1890, being documented in France meaning that people have
always liked rubbing themselves on others.
4 – Autassassinophilia,
• I guess fight or flight aren’t the only options in responding to dangerous situations.
• Autassassinophiles get their kicks by being a stone through away from death.
Mainly involving putting one’s self into life threatening situations and trying to
hide the resulting stain on their pants.
• But the fetish can go wrong with dire consequences like for Sharon Lopatka who was
consensually strangled to death.
3 – Climacophilia,
• Here’s one I can’t even begin to understand as being arousing at all, falling down stairs.
• The fetish involves only being to get off while you tumble down a flight of stairs.
That just seems logistically impossible.
• But the internet says its thing and it would explain the white goop on the floor
every time I have to take the stairs.
2 – Oculolictus, • It’s erotic when I lick your nipple
so why wouldn’t it be erotic when I lick your eyeball.
• Oculolictus or more commonly known as “worming” is the getting your rocks off
by licking your partners eyeballs, mm salty.
Sounds like a good way to get pinkeye.
• I don’t even know how the eyeball lick-ee does it, I can’t even put eye drops in properly.
1 – Hebephilia,
• These are the guys you don’t want coming to your 11 year old daughter’s birthday
party.
• I guess technically a subset of paedophiles, Hebephiles are specifically only attracted
to people between the ages of 11 and 14.
• Being a hebephile has all the perks of being a paedophile but allows you to pass
judgement on those sick bastards that have sex with 10 year olds, gross.