- Heya playa.
When it comes to my past dating life,
I wouldn't exactly say every girl
I tried to get with was a success.
In fact, I actually encountered a lot of failure.
Sometimes you're on fire and things are going good,
until you do one little thing that screws everything up.
Today, I want to share a story about how me
and this one girl had everything set up for it to work out,
but I just didn't deliver.
So hopefully you can learn from my mistakes
and not make them in the future.
[Upbeat Music]
♪This is the Josh Speaks ♪
I'd like to take you back several years.
Back in the day when me and my friends
would go out every single weekend,
Friday and Saturday to hang out
and go talk to girls.
Next to my neighborhood, there's an area
where there's a bunch of bars
that young people my age would go to.
All the bars were pretty much a block from each other
so people would go to one and then hop over to the next.
Every single weekend, me and my friends would go out.
Even though I didn't drink, I just loved the experience
of being out with my friends and talking to girls.
This was during the time that I was learning
a lot about pick up artistry.
Talking to girls, asking them out,
how to get them to like you,
all that kind of stuff that comes with it.
I believe I had just finished reading
The Game by Neil Strauss when one of my female friends
told me, "Hey, you know what? There's this girl
that I know that would be perfect for you."
When I asked her why, she said, "Well you both have
the same exact type of humor and you're both Scorpios."
I'm not a believer in horoscopes
but I wasn't going to turn up the opportunity
to meet a new girl and see if I connected with her.
So my friend went on Facebook and show me a bunch
of her pictures and I gotta say I thought
she was incredibly cute.
I made a mental note of what she looked like
and I told my friend, "well, whenever you're ready,
set up a time where me and her can meet."
Only a week after that, me and my friends
went back out to the bar where I spotted this girl
in the bar, all by herself.
I knew who she was because I saw her pictures
but now came the time to make the decision.
Do I start that interaction all by myself?
Or I do I wait for my female friend to introduce me?
This was a tough decision for me to make.
On one end, I can just walk up, do my thing
and see if it works but on the other end,
if my friend had introduced me, maybe I have
an easier time talking to her.
So I decided, what the heck.
I walked up to her, introduced myself
and we started talking.
My friend was right.
Me and this girl just immediately clicked.
We went over to one side of the bar
and we literally spent the entire night there
just with each other.
My friend saw me doing my own thing
so they decided to just kinda let me be without interfering.
After a while though of standing in the same exact spot
and talking to her, I could tell we were both
getting kinda bored so I knew I had to position her
somewhere else in the bar.
We walked over from the back to the front of the bar,
and that's when I asked for her number.
I was thinking at the time about going for the kiss,
but I decided you know what, let me hold off.
Things are good right now
and I don't want to screw them up.
A few days later, my female friend
reached back out to me and said, "Dude, what the heck?
I was going to introduce you.
How did things go?"
I let her know that I did everything by myself.
No help needed.
I got her number and I made plans
to hang out with her 1 on 1.
All of this happened around the winter time
so when I went to go meet up with this girl,
I had my big puffy winter jacket on
and so did she.
Walking around together, we had to trek through
a whole bunch of snow and on top of it,
she had to babysit one of her friend's dogs.
So she had to walk the dog when we were kind of on our date.
The dog was running around playing in the snow,
while we just stood in the background
and talked to each other.
Somehow though, my confidence kind of disappeared.
The entire night I kept thinking to myself,
"Okay, should I put my arm around her?
Should I hold her hand?
Should I try to kiss her?"
What exactly happened?
That first night I just walked right up to her,
I was incredibly confident and I did it but now,
I was second guessing every single thing I was doing.
The night progressed and it progressed and it progressed
and I think by the end of the night,
she had gotten bored because I wasn't really showing
any clear signs that I was interested in her.
We would walk around the block and talk for a bit
and then stop in another corner and talk some more.
It was just talking and talking and talking
which can be good, but because I didn't really show
any signs of interest at all,
I think she just gave up on me.
But of course, being the guy that I was,
I still wanted to try something.
When I finally got to her front door,
I decided this is it, I have to kiss her here
despite the fact that the entire night,
I didn't show any show any signs of romantic interest,
I just walked and talked with her like a friend.
So of course, when I went for the kiss,
can you guess what happened?
She turned her face to the sign
and gave me the cheek.
I felt crushed by her turning away
and confused because she agreed to hang out with me
so what was going on?
She ended up leaving and for the rest of the night,
I kept thinking to myself of all the different
little moments throughout that night
that I could've went for the kiss.
Now let's fast forward a year.
Randomly, out of nowhere this girl decides
to text me again and says she wants to catch up.
With another year's worth of experience
under my belt, I said you know what?
Let's do this.
This time around, I am not going to screw it up.
So of course, I agreed to hang out.
I traveled on over to where she lived
and she agreed to meet up to get frozen yogurt.
We sat in the yogurt place and caught up.
I told her what was going on in my life.
She told me what was going on in hers
and that's when she hit me with it.
She pulled out a little pamphlet
that talked all about different juices
you can take if you wanted to cleanse your body.
And I was like, "Uh, okay.
What is this all about?"
That's when she told me she was selling
these juice kits and that if I wanted to make
a little bit more cash, I can also sell them as well.
And that's when I realized that the only reason
she asked me hang out again is because she wanted
to pull me into her network marketing scheme.
Now I'm sure her intentions weren't as devious
as I thought they were, but I was a little upset.
Here I am thinking this girl wanted to hang out
with me because she liked me again
and she really just wanted to sell me som juices.
I gave her the brush off and told myself,
"You know what Josh?
You came out here to hook up with her
not to buy some damn juices so stick to the plan."
I kept talking to her and joking
and this time around,
I was being a little bit more flirtatious.
I put my arm around her,
I kinda pulled her in close to me,
I kept doing things like that all throughout the night
up until the point where we got back
to the front entrance of her building.
I told myself, "Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, you can't get fooled again."
And this time around when I went for the kiss,
boom, I got the cheek again.
She gave me a hug, we said our goodbyes
and I just said to myself,
"Well you did everything that you could."
And unlike the first time, I didn't walk away
feeling disappointed because things didn't work out.
I genuinely did everything that I felt I could
and she just wasn't interested.
And this time around, I felt pretty okay about it.
I didn't really beat myself up or rethink
every action that I took.
My phone was dead and I didn't know what time
the next bus would come so I spent the entire walk home
singing Quiet Company's At the Time new album to myself.
That walk home was something I will never forget.
Not because I didn't get the girl,
but because I gave it all that I could
and that's all that could be asked of me.
What about you?
Have you ever been in a situation
where you tried multiple times to get with someone
but you kept failing?
Leave your comment below and we'll talk about it.
I think the moral of the story here
is that in the equation, at some point,
one person has to be the leader.
They have to start a connection with the other person.
Because if both people are waiting for the other one
to do something?
Well then no one gets anywhere.
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make sure to hit the subscribe button below.
I put out a new video every Tuesday and Friday
sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you
how to be your best self.
Plus, if you want to hear more exciting stories
like this one, check out the playlist down below.
I share a bunch of things like the time
me and my first girlfriend got together
and broke up and even how one of my female friends
was upset because no guy would talk to her.
Remember, in life you either win or you learn.
The only type of people out there that are losers,
are the people that choose not to grow.
As always guys, love and peace.