- Heya playa.
Have you ever typed up a text message
and you were about to send it to a girl that you like
but then you stopped and thought to yourself,
hmm, is this a message I should be sending to a girl?
Well, today I wanted to get an actual girl's opinion.
So, I asked my friend Negeen to comment
on five text messages you should never send to a girl.
- Hi guys, I'm Negeen and I'm so excited
to be sharing with you my honest, honest feedback
on these text messages.
So if you're ready for it, let's get started.
♪ This is The Josh Speaks you're watching The Josh Speaks. ♪
- Now these are all real text messages that you guys
have actually sent in conversations you've had with girls.
So, let's get Negeen's honest opinion on them.
The first message is,
hey, um...
I really like you and...
Um...
I have a crush on you.
Is that okay?
- Alright, here's the thing.
If I get a text message like that,
I'm automatically turned off.
Sending a text like that is risky,
I know because you're telling a girl exactly how you feel.
But the way that you deliver a text like that
is very important.
So instead of saying, um multiple times
and then, is that okay?
How about you stand behind how you feel
and you send a text like this.
Hey, spending time with you these past couple days
have been really great and I'm starting to get
some feelings for you.
That is so cute or maybe you could send a text like,
I think you're a really great girl
and I'd love to see where this takes us.
I think sending an alternate text message like that
will go such a long way.
One, it's less pressure on the girl when you say,
is that okay?
Because it makes her feel like you're not confident
in how you feel and you're kinda putting it on her.
Do you know what I mean?
So definitely send a text that's complimenting her
and also letting her know how you feel.
- The second text message is,
Hey, hey, hey, hey, why are you ignoring me?
Why are you ignoring me?
- Oh no, you guys this makes me very uncomfortable
because it's very aggressive
and I have received texts like this, absolutely.
I've gotten text messages from guys that are saying,
or not when I don't respond
and just getting really offended.
But here's the reality guys,
if someone doesn't respond it's their loss,
but please don't send that many text messages
and aggressively say are you ignoring me.
Do you know what I mean?
Instead maybe you could say,
hey I'm just checking in to see how you're doing
and when you send a text like that,
it makes her think that wow maybe he's worried
because I'm not texting.
Maybe he thinks something happened to me.
So I would definitely go that route
if you're needing an answer.
But other than that, sometimes you just have to
accept that they're not texting you back.
- The third text message is hey, I think we should break up.
Alright, I'll talk to you later, bye.
- Oh, okay.
Guys, I'm sorry I'm gonna be harsh on this one.
Don't ever break up with someone over a text message.
Oh my God, if I ever had some guy break up with me over text
it would break my heart and scar me.
Ask Taylor Swift.
You know that happened to her, it literally did.
So you guys, please have respect for whoever you're dating
even if it wasn't serious,
even if it were for a couple of days,
please don't ever break up with someone over text.
It's really hurtful.
Even if you don't care, have the decency to call them
or talk to them in person and share how you feel.
And even over text message you could say,
hey, are you busy today?
I'd really like to talk to you about something.
And sending something like that would be
a lot better than let's break up, bye.
Peace.
No, we want to be the best person we can be.
So you guys, I really, really don't want you
to ever break up with someone over a text.
It's just not the right thing to do
and it's not the right way to handle that situation.
- The fourth text message is simply nudes please.
- You guys, I...
(laughing)
If a guy ever sends a text like that,
nudes please,
like it's not gonna make me want to send nudes, like no.
You guys, if you're wanting to look at a naked photo,
look at them online but asking a girl that you like
for nudes is so lame.
No part of me makes me feel like I'm special to a guy
if he sends a text like that.
So, if you're wanting to have
an alternate text option for that.
(laughing)
If she says hey I just got this really cute outfit,
why don't you say,
I'd love to see it on you, can you send me a pic?
Something like that would be a billion times better
than nudes please.
Was there a winky face?
I don't even know.
I hope there wasn't because I would be so turned off.
Yes there is a winky face.
No.
(laughing)
No, don't ever, no.
But do the alternate plan if you are dying for photos.
(giggling)
- And the fifth text message is hey buddy.
How's it going dude?
How you doing brah?
- Okay, guys.
I'm not your buddy, I'm not your dude
and I'm not your brah
and neither is a girl that you like.
So unless you guys are best friends and that is established,
not the text that you want to send.
Because here's the thing you guys,
sometimes if you send like a hey buddy text to a girl
and she actually likes you on the DL,
it's gonna sound like you're friendzoning her
and you may not even realize.
So maybe you could send a better text that's like
hey cutie or something where it's like really sweet
like hey how are you doing today?
Anything but hey dude or hey brah.
Save it for your guys friends not your girl.
Yeah if I ever got a text like that,
I probably wouldn't respond.
I'm just being honest.
But you guys you have to imagine talking to
you're dream girl cause is your dream girl
gonna wanna receive a text that says
hey buddy or hey dude?
I don't think so.
So think about that next time.
- And to add on to Negeen's points,
each of these text messages don't help create
a better bond with your crush.
It's just simply you asking something of them.
So you want dialogue to be a two way street.
You want them to be just as engaged in the conversation.
To feel like you genuinely care about them
and you're not just there to get something from them.
- Alright guys, I hope those five responses
were really helpful for you.
Those were my honest, honest opinions on those text messages
and us girls we overanalyze everything
but just make sure that you're sending text messages
that continue the conversation and provide depth
because if you're just sending flat text messages like that,
it's just not gonna get received the same way
that you want it to be.
So good luck on future texting
and thank you Josh for having me in this video.
Bye guys.
- If you guys haven't already, go subscribe to her channel
and check out the video I did over there
where I talk about my own breakup experience
as part of her breakup series.
She has amazing videos in that series
where she breaks down the different stages of a breakup.
So go check it out guys, go see her content.
She makes amazing dating advice videos.
On that note guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.