LOUIS, GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS. >> GOOD TO SIGH, MAN.
>> I GOT TO TELL YOU. >> YEAH.
>> I THINK THIS SHOW IS GOING PRETTY WELL TONIGHT.
I WISH WE WERE HERE. NOAKS FOLKS, ONE OF THE BEST
SHOARKS YOU GET TO TALK TO ALL THINGS ABOUT DOING THIS SORTS OF
HARD TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE IN FASCINATING PEOPLE BUT IT'S JUST
TEN TO 12 MINUTES ON NATIONAL TV WHICH IS WHY WE AT THE LATE SHOW
HAVE CREATED SOMETHING CALLED THE COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE.
IT IS COMPRISED OF 15 QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN AERONAUTICALLY
ENGINEERED TO DIVE DEEP INTO A CELEBRITY'S TRUE INNER SELF--
OR AT THE VERY LEAST, TRICK THEM INTO DIVULGING THEIR PASSWORD
SECURITY QUESTIONS. AND TONIGHT, WE HAVE TWO VERY
SPECIAL "QUESTIONERTS." LATER ON, WE'LL UNRAVEL THE
TRUE IDENTITY OF ETHAN HAWKE-- IS HE MAN OR IS HE HAWK?
ONLY TIME WILL TELL. BUT FIRST A VERY SPECIAL
"QUESTIONERT" WITH ROBERT DE NIRO.
DE NIRO TOOK THE "QUESTIONERT" SO SERIOUSLY, HE EVEN CAME
PREPARED WITH NOTES-- WHICH IS TYPICALLY FORBIDDEN, BUT HE'S
ROBERT DE NIRO. SO, HERE IT IS:
MR. BOBBY D., TAKING THE COLBERT Q. I'M HERE WITH
BOB, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN MR. ROBERT DE NIRO. TALKING
TO YOU ON THE SHOW SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING.
ARE YOU ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUESTS, I ALWAYS ENJOY TALKING
TO YOU ON THE SHOW, WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO SPEND A COUPLE OF
MINUTES OFF THE SHOW, I HAVE SEEN YOU OUT SOCIALLIED.
AND HERE IS THE THING, EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW EACH OTHER A
LITTLE BIT, THE THING SU DON'T GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IN THESE
SHORT LITTLE BITES AND I REALLY LIKE TO PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF SOUL
OF MY GUESTS SO WHAT WE HAVE DONE AT THE LATE SHOW LAB IS THE
AEROSPACE PRECISION HAVE COME SCIENTISTS UNTHERE WITH UP
WITH 15 QUESTIONS THAT WHEN ANSWERED REVEAL THE TRUE NATURE
OF A GUEST. ARE YOU PREPARED, DO YOU HAVE
THE COURAGE? ARE YOU WILLING TO STEP UP AND
TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT?
THANK YOU SIR, THANK YOU, >> YES I AM. THANK
ROBERT DE NIRO WHAT IS THE YOU. BEST
>> WHATEVER SANDWICH I'M SANDWICH. EATING
AT THE TIME. >> Stephen: LOVE THE ONE
YOU'RE WELL. >> YES.
>> Stephen: LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH.
WHICH, WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD
>> MY COLLECTION OF O.J. REALLY THROW OUT. SIMPSON
MEMORABILIA. >> Stephen: WHAT IS THE
SCARIEST ANIMAL? >> REPUBLICANS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?
>> WELL, I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO COMPARE APPLES TO ORANGES.
SO I WILL SAY GRAPES. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? >> WELL, ONE THING IS IT IS
HARDER TO GET A JOB. AND AT LEAST THAT WAS MY
EXPERIENCE AFTER I RELEASED THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND
BULLWINKLE. >> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION
MOVIE? >> 40 SHADES OF GRAY.
>> Stephen: 40 SHAISD OF GRAY. >> OR BAM BEE.
OR SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS.
I KNOW THEY'RE NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT BUT I LIKE THEM.
>> Stephen: MAY SCI WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST TEN SHADES
OF GRAY? >> I DON'T KNOW, CUZ I DIDN'T
SEE THE MOVIE. >> Stephen: YOU DIDN'T SEE THE
MOVIE. YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE?
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE? >> NO.
>> Stephen: GREAT MOVIE. >> IS IT, REALLY.
>> Jon: GREAT MOVE-- . >> Stephen: GREAT MOVIE, CARDS
ON THE TABLE, HAVE I NEVER SEEN HEAT.
>> OKAY, THAT'S OKAY. >> Stephen: IS THAT REALLY
OKAY? >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I MEAN TO. I HAVE NEVER SEEN, THAT I
HAVEN'T SEEN SHAWSHANK. >> OKAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT IF I-- WOULD YOU WATCH IT WITH ME IF I
WATCHED IT? >> DON'T MAKE ME.
>> Stephen: CUZ YOU DON'T LIKE TO SEE YOURSELF ON CAMERA OR YOU
DON'T LIKE THE MOVIE, OR YOU DON'T LIKE PA CHINA.
>> NO, I LOVE PACINO IT IS JUST THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE SEEING
THE MOVIE AND THEN YOU ASK ME TO WATCH IT AND IT WILL BE LIKE I
GOT TO SIT HERE AND THIS AND THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD LIKE GET UP AND MAKE A SANDWICH OR
SOMETHING AND CHECK IN AND GO HOW DO YOU LIKE IT SO FAR.
>> YES. >> Stephen: YEP, OKAY.
>> I ACTUALLY PREFER CENTER WINDOW OR AISLE. SEAT
BETWEEN TWO BIG GUYS WITH SCREAMING KIDS.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL. >> GARLIC.
>> Stephen: LEAST FAVORITE SMELL.
>> MY BREATHE AFTER I'VE HAD A LOT OF GARLIC.
DISCOVERED A LOT ABOUT THAT >> Stephen: YOU KNOW YOU WITH
A MASK ON. >> OH YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU WOULD BE HUFFING YOUR OWN GARLIC.
MOST USED APP ON YOUR PHONE. >>THE TRIBECA FESTIVAL MOBILE
APP. >> Stephen: THERE IS A MOBILE
>> AND IT SHOULD BE THE MOST APP FOR THE FESTIVAL. APP
USED ON YOUR PHONE TOO. >> Stephen: IT UNDOUBTEDLY IS
FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD. CATS OR DOGS.
>> I LIKE KALTS AND DOGS. I'VE HAD THEM BOTH.
THEY'RE ALL GREAT. >> Stephen: ROBERT DE NIRO
DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
>> I'M COUNTING THE WORDS. >> Stephen: WELL, WHAT THE
[BLEEP] HAPPENED? >> Stephen: ROBERT DE NIRO,
CONGRATULATIONS. ROBERT DE YOU ARE KNOWN, NIRO, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.