What's up everyone?
It's Aileen.
Today I wanted to do the My Perfect Imperfections tag.
I first saw Jenn Im from Clothes Encounters do this tag and it was really refreshing
to watch her share about her flaws and be vulnerable in that way, but also share the
stuff
that she does love about herself.
And after watching that, it just reminded me
that everybody is human.
We all have flaws, but at the same time we're all perfect
in our own way.
And I think it's really important to remember that, even if you do feel
like you have flaws, there are things that you don't necessarily love about yourself,
you are still lovable.
And you are still perfect in your own way, perfect as you are.
Okay, so first imperfection that I've always been self-conscious about are my thighs.
And I feel like this is a general problem area for a lot of women,
Just because some of us are just blessed in this bottom zone–a little too blessed.
I think it started when I was in fifth grade.
I was around the same height as I am now, so sad.
I was like 5'1" in fifth grade, and I was wearing size 1 pants in adults.
And in fifth grade,
you're still a kid and I think all the other girls in my class were still wearing kids
sizes
and I was wearing an adult size 1.
Even though, now thinking back, size 1 is pretty small.
I just remember bending down, and this boy was like, "Oh my god, look how big her butt
is!"
And so, since then, I think I realized that I was a little bigger down there, compared
to
some of my other girl friends.
And I think it didn't help that, growing up,
I took kung fu for a few years.
And in kung fu, you have to do horse stance–
which is a squat–for a long time.
They'll make you hold that squat
and build your bottom muscles.
So yeah, I think that definitely contributed to my leg muscle
and the thickness of it down there.
Damn, it's hard.
It hurts.
But generally, yeah, this is why I like to wear dresses more than pants.
I've just never felt like pants have been very flattering for my shape, ever.
So that's probably the biggest thing that I don't necessarily like about myself physically.
My next imperfection are my eyelids and eyebags, so the general eye area
because I have uneven eyelids.
I have multiple folds in both eyelids, and they're not the same,
so one eye always looks bigger than the other.
And then I have natural eyebags.
I always get comments on my videos like "You look so tired," or "You need to get some sleep,"
whereas I probably got 9-10 hours of sleep the night before.
It's definitely genetic,
and I'm gonna call out my brother.
If you look at my brother,
he definitely has those same eyebags when he smiles.
I think it's just natural in our faces,
and it's been something I'm self-conscious about because I hate when people are like,
"You look so tired.
You look so tired," especially when I'm not wearing makeup.
And that's like the most annoying thing to hear, right?
It's also a challenge
because understanding the shape of my face and my eyebags, I don't always look good
in every single lighting situation.
I think, with my YouTube videos,
I know to put the light in front here.
But when I used to act and when I used to be in short films,
there was a time we were shooting a scene in Taiwan, and my producer was like,
"Aileen, did you sleep last night?
You look so tired.
Your bags are huge."
And it's because, in other certain lighting situations–You know in film,
they have dramatic lighting and they put the light in different areas.
So, you know, if the lighting isn't right and my eyebags are pretty prominent,
it just doesn't look good onscreen.
And I just felt like that was something
to be self-conscious about, a little insecure about.
But I think, as I get older,
I'm learning to brush it off more.
I don't care if people think I look tired.
This is my face, and I know what lighting works for my face.
It's kind of like I learned how to work with it, you know?
My third imperfection are my toes.
And it's just weird for me to bring it up
and talk about it because I've always been self-conscious of my toes
because my big toe is just a little bit crooked.
It's just not normal.
And I know that it's genetic because my grandma has the same types of toes.
And growing up, I was always really, really embarrassed to show my feet.
I'd always keep socks on, wear closed-toe shoes.
And even in college,
when you start wearing heels and stuff and I would always wear booties
and not open-toed heels.
Still now, I'm more comfortable wearing closed-toe shoes.
Even though now, I don't care if people see my feet now.
But it's definitely been
one of my insecurities growing up.
Even though this is something I'm self-conscious about,
the bright side is it's like a reminder of my grandma and my family.
Recently I went back to China to visit my grandma and she has Alzheimer's,
so she basically didn't remember who I was.
And there was a funny moment
where I took off my shoes and I showed her my foot.
I’m like, "Look, we're related.
We're definitely related."
So I think that was a sweet little moment.
Alright, moving onto things I do love about myself.
I love my hair.
I love my hair
as my form of self-expression.
I love playing with different colors and styles,
because hair's very symbolic for me.
I'm sure you guys can tell.
I've learned that
my hair is actually quite strong and can handle bleaching.
I think before I started dying my hair, I thought that it was very fine and thin,
but the stylist told me, "Yeah, your hair can handle a lot."
I've bleached it for so many years,
so many times, and it's still really manageable and really gives me no problems.
I really like that it's straight and very, very hassle-free.
Another thing I like about myself is my skin.
I've never been the type to really break out
or have bad acne or skin problems.
I don’t get rashes.
My skin is not too sensitive,
so I'm happy and grateful for the skin that I have.
It is just like normal skin
and that's why I love skincare so much.
I love taking care of it and keeping it moisturized,
but i mean, I just am grateful that it doesn't give me any problems
and I've never had to deal with those issues like that.
The third thing I like about myself physically is my shoulders.
I feel like I really like the top part of my body because, for some reason,
the top part is skinny "naturally", and then the bottom part is the more voluptuous,
naturally blessed type of body type.
So my body's not balanced but I do like the shoulders
because I've always felt like I have good posture.
I think it's from yoga or dance
or whatever it may be, but I don't know, I just like wearing no sleeved tops
to show off my shoulders.
It's just something that I like.
I just like this area.
Alright, so moving onto personality or emotional things that I like and don't like about myself.
And I'll start with the imperfection first.
My personality imperfection is that I am not good
at keeping touch.
I’m not good at socializing that much.
In a way, I just get this anxiety
when the phone rings.
And I get this feeling, "Ugh I don't want to pick it up.
I want to ignore it."
Even if it's one of my close friends, I get like that.
I get anxious or resistant to it.
And usually, the issue with friends in the past is they always reach out to me
and I never reach out to them.
I don't like asking people for help.
I had to teach myself
to learn to check in with friends to see if they're okay.
I had to teach myself
to think about others and reach out and put an effort into friendships and relationships.
That's something that I had to teach myself over time.
But naturally, I'm just kind of lazy
at socializing, lazy at making that effort.
So that would be my personality imperfection.
And something that I like about my personality is that I'm very understanding.
I feel like I can easily understand someone else's point of view.
I can easily put myself
in someone's shoes and I'm really quick to understand the situation,
or I can understand the concepts really easily.
So that's something that I like about myself
because I think it takes empathy and it takes compassion to be able to do that.
And I'm the person that can understand both sides of the situation and really feel for
both sides.,
because It's something that comes so naturally for me.
I know for others, they have a hard time
understanding someone else's point of view, but I think that I just get it quicker
and I think that's something that's valuable and it's useful and it's a positive trait
to have.
Alright, that's it for this perfect imperfections tag.
If you're interested,
feel free to do this tag as well.
If you make a video, tag me on Twitter
so I can watch it and share it.
If you're not going to make a video, feel free to comment below
with your perfect imperfections.
Include 3-4 things that you think are imperfections
and 3-4 things that you do love about yourself.
I'd love to see that
and I'd love to continue spreading this message of, "It's okay to be vulnerable.
It's okay to have flaws.
It's okay to not love everything about yourself."
But you should learn to love and embrace everything that you are.
I hope that makes sense.
Alright, have a beautiful day and I'll see you next time.
Bye!